[Scene begins with four people sitting around each other in a circle]
Apple: Alright. Thank you everyone for joining me at this meeting at the south end of the bag. So today's topic is "issues in-and-out of our bag."
Apple: [Annoyed] Is there something you'd like to share with us, Blueberry?
Blueberry: How come we're talking about this? Like we can control what happens outside the bag.
Lemon: She means how we're going to escape once someone buys us.
Apple: Thank you, Lemon. Now, as I was saying—
Cherry: Hold on! I'm sorry, I had to jump in. What is the point of escaping when we'll just end up in the trash?
Blueberry: Would you rather end up in some fat kid's mouth?
[Cherry glares at him]
Apple: Alright, come on people, let's not—
Cherry: If anyone, it would be me, I taste better.
Blueberry: [Sadly] Yeah, Apple! You're the problem solver! How come I'm not popular anymore? Blueberry's always been an all-time favorite!
Lemon: Maybe if you didn't turn people's tongues blue you wouldn't have that problem.
Blueberry: Not true! People love me for that! Right, Apple? Tell him!
Lemon: Take it from me, I've seen the factory workers, and when they want to sneak a piece of us in their mouths, they reach for my flavor: lemon. With a tongue-tainter like you, there's too much evidence that they took a piece.
Blueberry: [Angry] I am NOT a tongue-tainter! I'll have you know I taste way better than you.
Lemon: [Mumble] Ha, you wish.
Apple: Don't be so sour, Lemon.
Cherry: Please, you're all just conceded, when the real favorite is cherry. I mean, I'm a classic! Everyone loves me!
Blueberry: [Scoffs] Oh OK, Cherry, you live in your world, and I'll live in the real world.
Cherry: You're just jealous!
Blueberry: Of what?!
Cherry: Just admit it, factories put more of one kind of flavor, cough-cough—ME, in a bag because people just… well like it. Think of all the famous candies they do that to: Mike & Ike, Skittles, Jelly-Beans, and so on.
Apple: Come on you guys! I had this meeting so we can think of solutions, not cause more problems.
Lemon: I think the real "issue" here is that they think they taste better, when really my flavor dominates.
Blueberry: Stay out of think you obnoxious . . . Lemonhead!
Lemon: Well I'm not too keen on you either, Blueberry!
Cherry: You guys wouldn't know quality flavor even if you WERE tasteful!
[They all begin to argue at once]
Apple: Guys . . .
[They continue to argue]
Apple: . . . Guys . . . !
[Cherry stage-slaps Blueberry]
Apple: SHUT UP! [They all silence and look at her] What's the matter with you guys? We all use to be friends until this better flavor ordeal got to us. [They all glare at each other] Come on, we can get through this.
Cherry: Well, I guess you're right.
Lemon & Blueberry: Yeah.
[Suddenly there is a heavy boom and everything shakes]
All actors: WHOA!
Lemon: [Panic] What's happening?!
Apple: [Spreads arms out cautiously] Wait! [All actors silence cautiously] I think . . . we've been bought!
All actors: Oh-no! Aaaaaaahh!