It was on my first night on the job that I had no choice but to spend New Year's Eve just sitting in my police car and being bored out of my mind instead of joining my friends at Times Square for the annual celebration.

As a matter of fact, I was becoming so bored that I was about to punch out the old time clock and just go home.

But just as I was about to do that, I had suddenly heard the sound of tires screeching on the road and saw this Ford Super Duty pickup truck zooming right past my car which made me turn on the lights, hit the siren and go after that idiot.

And when I finally got that pickup to stop, I stepped out of my car and walked over to that truck in time to see that everyone inside were so drunk out of their minds that they took one look at me and laughed their heads off.

That was when I shined my flashlight into the cab of that pickup and said, "Okay! You had your little fun! Now, who is the designated driver of this bunch?", before the drivers side door opened and this guy who looked like some stupid bigmouth's worse nightmare plopped out of the pickup, staggered over to me and answered,"That would be me, Sir! The High Lord Alfred Fuddy Duddy at your service!"

And when I smelled his breath and discovered that it reeked of booze, I came to realize that those poor folks had made the mistake of picking the most stupidest brain dead idiot in the entire city of New York to be their designated driver.

Thankfully, backup arrived and we were able to get those drunks into a cell to sleep it off.