Written May 11, 2008, Age twelve

My life is spiraling downward,

And I cannot see the bottom.

There's an empty pit inside my heart

That only one can fill.

My head is going crazy from nights of lack of sleep

Because nightmares swarm dreams of never-ending bliss.

The physical and mental scars tell novels,

Some of which I'll never show

Because I'll somehow fall far below.

The ones whose stories ring through the night

And fill my numbing mind with terrorizing pain.

The hands of a weary soul is weak and tattered

Come of no use in a struggle of self-control.

It seems the blood from my veins are thicker than my pain.

My tears have shattered uselessly and with no purpose but pain.

When will I realize I have no chance to win?

I have nothing left to give

Except pieces of a broken heart.

My lifeline is being robbed,

I'm falling through quicksand.

My shattered thoughts can't grasp the lifesaving rope

One meant to bring me home safely.

Somewhere hidden lies the promise not meant to be broken,

But somehow, I've broken it twice.

Is there ever turning back?

There is no such thing as terror,

Having faced it all,

But deep inside my insane mind,

I see a different world.

I feel the pressure and the suffering,

All for the ones who can't bear the truth.

It's hard to say it all.

A long, long story too hard to tell

Holds a lifetime of pain.

But my weakness seeps through a glimmer of hope

As my final tears start to fall.

Who can I look to for dear life

That I haven't looked to before?

I hold on tightly to what is dear,

For there's no looking back.

I hide it all inside my mind

So no one else can see at all.

I try desperately to find a way,

But life is never that simple.

I can only hope to try and make it through the night.

How hard will it be, I'll never know,

Because my life is spiraling downward,

And I cannot see the bottom.