A/N: Pastebin of my thoughts and relevant caps for each chapter found here - pastebin domain (slash) 8SEXngrF
"God. Fucking plebs," Elsa muttered, shaking her head in disbelief as she hit the Ctrl and W keys angrily, an empty dinner bowl rattling slightly as the desk shook. "Since when did this site become full of faggots?"
A soft knock on her bedroom door drew her attention away from the screen in front of her, its harsh glow illuminating one side of her face. "What?!" she snapped, her already sour mood exacerbated by the unwelcome interruption.
"Hey," came the gentle voice of her sister, muffled slightly by the wooden barrier. "It's just me." A pause. "Can I come in?"
Nice going, jackass. Elsa closed her eyes, sighing heavily, immediately regretting the unwarranted nastiness she'd directed at the younger girl. She tried to sound a little more inviting. "Yeah, okay, fine." Better. "But I'm busy though so I can't talk." Fuck. Can't you just be nice to her for one second? She opened her eyes and smacked the heel of her hand on her forehead.
The door creaked as her sister opened it slightly, slipping through the gap, before pushing it shut behind her. Anna paused for a moment as her eyes adjusted to the dim room, but she said nothing. Elsa was grateful. Her mother seemed to think the older girl was blind or had some serious issues with her memory, and so she felt the need to comment on the darkness every time she entered. It only served to remind Elsa how unlike the rest of her family she was.
Anna carefully stepped around a haphazard pile of books as she moved to sit on the bed. Elsa watched as she picked up a plush Lapras toy from the floor. "Hey, is this a Pokémon?" she said, eagerly, brushing the soft material of its head with a delicate hand. She gave the older girl a little grin that made Elsa's heart jump. "He's really cute. What's his name?"
"Lapras," Elsa replied. "He's a water ice type from the first generation. I only really ever used him as a vessel for HM Surf, since I had another ice type – Articuno – in my party that I used for gym leader battles. Much better special stats, which obviously is going to make attacks like Ice Beam and Blizzard…more…effective…" she trailed off, blushing as she realised how much garbage was coming out of her mouth. Anna doesn't give a shit about this stuff, you dumbass. Her knowledge of Pokémon stops at being able to recognise fucking obnoxious Pikachu.
Yet there she was, sitting on the bed, fingers absentmindedly fiddling with the plush toy, a sweet look on her face as she tried to follow her sister's train of thought. "Oh, cool," she giggled softly at her own joke. "It sounds kinda like a game for really smart people. I'd probably be terrible at it," she said, shrugging. Shooting Elsa a bright smile, "I bet you're an expert, though. You're super good at all that logic stuff."
A thousand responses churned in Elsa's head.
You could never be terrible at anything.
I could show you how to play.
You're a hell of a lot cuter than that Lapras.
Why are you so good to me?
But she just sat there like a moron, saying nothing.
Terrified of blurting out something else stupid, she just turned back to her screen, squeezing her eyes shut with remorse when she heard Anna give a tiny sigh.
She was torn between wanting the younger girl to leave so she could wallow in her self-pity at not even being able to talk normally with her own sister, and wishing that Anna would stay here forever.
Elsa heard her pick up a book from the pile on the floor. "Batgirl," she said with intrigue. "This looks pretty interesting." A tentative question, "Is- is she your favourite superhero?"
Liar. Barbara Gordon was smart, funny, kind and ridiculously attractive. And a redhead. Of course she was Elsa's favourite.
"Oh, well she still looks awesome." Elsa heard her sister shift on the bed. "Can I read it?"
Not turning away from the screen, the older girl replied. "Yeah fine. Just do it quietly."
So I don't accidentally make an ass of myself again by trying to make you listen as I tell you Babs' life story. She clenched her jaw. Anna said nothing in response, and Elsa heard her settle back into the pillows at the top of the bed, the flip of a page the only indication that she'd opened the book.
Unmoving, staring at her screen, Elsa was tempted to sock herself in the face. Her sister had clearly chosen to subject herself to the heavy air and depressing surroundings of Elsa's bedroom just to talk to the older girl. And now you're being a fucking jerk about it, but she's still happy with just being near your sorry ass.
She didn't deserve that kind of affection. Not from someone as beautiful and sweet and caring as her little sister.
Elsa felt tears burn behind her eyes. Unwilling to let Anna see her cry or be forced to explain what was wrong, she spoke in a much harsher tone than she intended to, "Are you gonna read that whole thing in here? I have stuff to do." Christ. Just stab her in the heart next time, you asshole.
"Sorry," A timid apology. "I didn't realise it was bothering you." It's not. Stay. A rustle of sheets as she slid off the bed. "Um, I can go read in my room." Her voice was thick. "Thanks…for letting me borrow it, I mean." I swear to god, if you made her cry…
She heard soft footsteps as Anna padded across the carpet to stand behind her. Elsa didn't move. She could hardly breathe when she felt a warm, gentle hand on her shoulder, squeezing it lightly. "I love you. Sleep well," she whispered, and then she was moving towards the door.
A gentle breeze as she opened it, pausing in the threshold, as if she were daring to hope for a response. Say something. Tell her you love her. It's not that fucking hard.
When nothing was forthcoming, Anna slipped out, the latch clicking shut behind her.
Elsa dropped her head into her hands. "I love you too," she breathed. "So fucking much."