"What?" He stopped dancing.
I cursed in my head. This was what I had been afraid of. When my heart exploded and my mouth started muttering things without my head processing it first.
"What?" I looked at him.
"You said something," he said.
"Want to get some fresh air?" I asked.
"Are you feeling stuffy?" His concerned face looked gorgeous.
I shook my head.
I nodded this time.
"Let's go out for a bit anyway," he smiled at me and took my hand. It felt weird walking while holding hands with him. Though it only seemed necessary as we walked through the sea of people.
"Wait," I stopped when we finally got out of the dance floor. "If you wanted to be crowned Prom King, you'd better stay here," I added. We weren't walking anymore but our hands were still together. I loosened my grip but he didn't.
He laughed, "Being crowned Prom King is the last thing I have in my head."
"But if you wanted to be Prom Queen-"
"Please tell me you're joking," I snapped at him with a chuckle.
"Okay, I'm joking," he laughed and we continued our way outside.
We went to the hotel's balcony that was overlooking the lake. There were a few people outside as well and the place was decorated with twinkling yellow lights. It was a bit chilly and Alex put his coat around my bare shoulders. We walked over to the fence and rested our elbows on it.
"You sure you're okay?" he asked.
"Yeah," I smiled at him and looked at the sky. The stars were unusually brighter. Or maybe it was only because there wasn't enough light pollution around the place that made it shone more.
"I wonder if the stars were always there," I muttered, still admiring the sky.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, it's always bright in the city unlike here in this lake. Maybe those fluorescent lights simply hindered our eyes from seeing the stars."
He didn't say anything back and just smiled. He looked up at the sky as well and I knew the silence between us wasn't because we were awkward. It was because we were both looking at something so beautiful that simply rendered us speechless. But then he suddenly spoke.
"What if I never fall out of love with you?"
I quickly turned my face to him. He was still looking up at the sky.
"What if I really can't accept for us to be just friends?" He looked at me.
I didn't say anything back and stared at him. Then he started laughing.
"I think I might be crazy, Cass," he said and diverted his gaze in the beautiful lake in front of us.
I continued looking like a mute dumb, staring at him.
"I don't know how I'd handle it if I see you in another man's arms. I don't know how long I'd stay sane being around you but not being with you," he said with a little smile on his face, lightly shaking his head. "I told you I'd let you go but I don't know if I could really…let go," he continued and finally looked at me.
My lips were slightly parted to help me breathe as if there wasn't enough oxygen in the air. I looked away and muttered under my breath, "I hate you."
Then he suddenly stood up straight and shifted his entire body, "What?" he whispered, eyebrows raised.
"I hate you," I said one more but this time, firmer.
"Cass…" he let out a soft chuckle and placed his hand on my shoulder.
I shifted my entire body to face him.
"I hate you!" I yelled at his face and stepped back, leaving his arms dangling on each side his body. "I hate you and your charm. I hate the way you look at me. I hate the way I feel weird when you touch me. I hate that you make me feel a thousand things I couldn't understand. I hate how you're damaged by your past that makes me not want to leave you. I hate that you're trying to let go because that only means how much you love me. And I hate that I still fell in love with you when falling in love was the single thing I was most scared of!"
I looked at him with furious eyes and raw emotions all over me. But instead of furrowed eyebrows, he looked at me with a huge smile on his face.
"You're in love with me," he said.
"Of all things I just told you that's the only thing you processed?" I shouted again, catching my breath with each word. Good thing there weren't people around anymore and it was just the two of us.
"Because that was the only thing that mattered," he said without a trace of humor on his face.
"Oh come here!" I grabbed his face with both my hands and slammed my lips on his. He pulled me towards his body with the press of his right hand on my lower back and wrapped his left arm around me.
I felt his warm soft lips curve when mine touched it.
"I love you," he whispered in my lips. And just like that, I was lost.
Every twist and turn of our mouths felt unfamiliar to me. My lungs searched for air but I knew oxygen wasn't what it had been craving for. I might be a bit deprived of air but the fullness I was feeling in my chest was enough. It was the first time I was so lost but at the same time I knew I was in the right place. It was the moment love has finally defeated me, taking over my senses.
With heavy breaths and flushed cheeks, we pulled apart. He held my face with both his hands and stared right through my eyes.
"Can you say that you love me again?" he asked.
"Please don't hate me when I get to break your heart," I slapped his chest and looked at him, teary eyed.
"You already did… and I'm ready to have it broken by you all over again." He said, leaning his forehead against mine.
I closed my eyes and smiled as a tear fell down my cheek.
Then he pulled a rectangular box from his coat that I was wearing.
"Will you go out with me, Cassandra Jourdan?" He asked as he opened the box for me. Inside was a gold flower bracelet. He took my hand and put it on. It twinkled under the moonlight.
"What is this for?" I asked, touching the delicate jewelry.
"Well, you didn't want to wear a corsage because you said it was itchy…"
I suddenly jumped and threw my arms around him and said, "Yes, I would go out with you, Alexander James because I LOVE YOU," I hugged him tighter and he did the same. "But you're still the jerk who made me feel things," I whispered in his ears.
Remember the time I thought about what might change if Alex and I would become more than friends? If something will change?
Well. Things definitely changed…but that was only because we already knew about each other's affection. We were in love but more than that we were friends. Our friendship stayed the same. I'd laughed at him when he acted weird. He'd laugh at my weirdness sometimes. And we still had those movie nights at my place with Rosie and Johnny.
Rosie was crowned Prom Queen, as expected because she was the Queen of all confident women and her gown was simply amazing, and another boy from a different section was crowned Prom King. Johnny? Well, he wasn't crowned beside his girlfriend but he was the proudest boyfriend ever.
Everything seemed to turn out great. Or, well, maybe not that great. Mom and Dad were talking again. Yes, that's good. But they'd still argue. I never understood why though. I'd usually invite him to stay with Mom and I at Brentwood on weekends. Alright, they still fight constantly whenever they were together but I liked how these were just small nonsense fights. They'd argue about which Chinese restaurant we should call for delivery, they'd argue about which movie we'd watch, and many more little things I thought was ridiculous and funny.
Honestly, I thought Mom was just being hormonal these past few weeks. A lot. And lo and behold, a visit from the doctor explained everything why. She was freaking 3 weeks pregnant and none of them knew about this. Marissa shed tears of joys from this news while I almost gagged upon realizing something happened between my parents at their age. But I couldn't conceal my excitement that I was going to be a big sister. Because of Mom's pregnancy, Dad decided to stay with us again to make sure Mom would not overwork that might be dangerous for her health and the baby's. We were almost like a family again.
We had also told Dianne and Zack about Alex and I. And I swear, my eardrums almost popped from Dianne's shrieking squeal over the phone when I finally told her about it. Zack? Of course, he sounded as if he already knew how everything would turn out in the end. Classic Zack.
Our painting? We finally figured what was missing. It was right in my essay...which apparently was, in some ways, the same with Alex's. Happiness is when you know in your heart that you never really are alone. It's true what they say: that no man is an island. While we all might feel sad and companionless sometimes, we just have to get past that feeling of loneliness and realize that it is literally impossible for us to be alone. I mean seriously, there are millions, zillions, of other human beings in this world and if we would just acknowledge even a stranger's presence, then why would we ever feel all alone?
Alex and I decided to head towards uncertainty and I tell you, the journey was filled with butterflies, cupcakes, shattered glass, and pins and needles. It was a rough ride and we were just in the beginning. There were laughter, bickering, little flutters in our heart and yeah maybe some tears but we never felt scared. Our relationship was still a baby and we weren't sure how things would turn out as we grow together, but we were in love and that was all that mattered. We have our own fears but I had come into terms that with love, there is no room for fear.
It felt like God gave me so many blessings in a span of a year that I had to constantly pinch myself just to make sure I wasn't dreaming. I lost all my hopes in love when it destroyed parts of parents but I never knew it was also what was going to make them whole again. I stopped believing that love was something I needed but an angel in the form of Alexander James made me believe again.
AAAHHH! It's done. It's official. I finished it. And I couldn't believe I did! Thank you! For taking the time to read Believe Again and live inside Cassandra's head. I couldn't have done it without you my readers. I am so happy with what I have accomplished but at the same time sad because this is where the world of Believe Again ends. Anywaaaay...I don't wanna get too emotional here. Haha. I hope you guys all enjoyed reading 44 chapters of this story. I spent a great deal of time, brain cells, and heart to write every single word and I enjoyed every minute of it. Especially the Prom parts. Hehe. Thank you again!
Until my next story!
PS: What do you think of the ending? I'd love to hear your comments! So I'd really appreciate it if you can leave me a message or a review. Hihi. Thank you!