Parody response to "The Passionate Shepherd to His Love by Christopher Marlowe.
The Modern Lazy Bum's Reply to the Shepherd
If you will build a house for me
And plant, as far as I can see
Small flowers of a brilliant hue
To spell out clearly, "I LOVE YOU."
(But I won't sit upon a rock,
And watch you work hard for your flock
For I prefer a comfy seat
And work's a bore, I'd rather eat.)
If you will make me eggs and toast
Each morning – all days, not just most
While I continue dreams of rose
'Til scent of food does reach my nose
(But if you make a gown of wool
For me to wear, then you're a fool!
It'll give my skin a hideous rash
I'll gladly burn your gown to ash.)
If you will do as you are told
Not sulk, nor scorn, and never scold,
For your love and my amusement
You are hired as my servant.
But if you do all this, and more
(And cook, and clean, and never snore)
Then for your pains my mind might move
To live with "thee" and be "thy" love.