As fictional as a fable, this story is not,

For this horrid fairy tale adopts a gruesome plot.


You see, the legend began in the south of Italy,

Where the state was run by a tyrant called Mussolini.

Besides for the atrocities the dicktator did produce,

Kids were reported to have been eaten … by a pack of wolves?


"OH EM GEE my friend, are like those stories even true?"

"Nah, bru, the tabloids were using wolves as an excuse."


You see, in that small village, a fugly woman was in sight,

Who thought of little children as being an utter delight.

Although, she had a slight fetish when it came to her bite,

For she needed little munchkins to feed her appetite.


"What you saying? That little children were the food she enjoyed?"

"Fu shure! Cannibalism was just her dietary choice!"


However, a kid-superhero was bound to save the day,

For on one fatal evening, he found this chick gobbling away.

His bulged eyes witnessed blood on her hands.

And shouted,

"Holy shit! Look at that bi*ch's fangs!"


As he darted away, eager to be rescued,

He sprinted into her hubby's arms for refuge.


Her spouse – a charming good man, but delusional to say the least.

Nevertheless, he wasn't the one chowing down kids for a feast!

He cut her meal short and dragged her back home.

"What's up witchu? This shit I don't condone!"


He tied her up, and attempted to cure this disease.

So he fetched his pliers, and pulled out all of her teeth!


Just like the old lady who swallowed a fly,

She wiggled and jiggled and tickled [and whined].

To him, she was nothing more than a deadly parasite.

So one by one, she slowly lost her carnivorous bite.


"Ifhisvbbvsdugeug ihifghdnd!" she cried.

But then she died.


He stuffed her in her closet and hid all of her teeth,

And thought, "Now our village can finally have some peace."

But soon arrested was he, and in an asylum his days were spent.

Spending long nights in solitude, they thought he would lament and repent.


But still, hauntings were reported, and every night professed he,

"She is so cray-cray, she keeps coming back for her hidden teeth!"


Now as the non-fictional legend still goes,

In Italy, her ghost continues to roam.

And if she does find you, don't you dare seek for her teeth,

Because she WILL bite you, and bru, you'll totes be deceased!