First day
"Come along children
there's no time to play

You're goin to sit
A little test
So we can determine
Who is the best

What, you don't know
That puts you bottom
of the class.

Didn't they teach
logarithms at home?
You mean you can't list
the emp'rors of Rome?

Well I don't care
if you're only three
You can't even comprehend

I'm afraid we can't take you
We're really not able
You'd lower our standing
in the league table.

Of course we believe
In education
But yours isn't worth
The cost to the nation!