A/N: tiny prose I wrote a couple years ago. Kinda shitty and has no real anything to it, but just a little commentary on Mary-Sue-ism both in reality and fiction.

Miss American Dream

(or... Miss Mary-Sue)


My name is Brittany (or Savannah) Smith. I am sixteen years old. I have blonde hair, blue eyes, a modestly curvy physique, a touch taller than average height, and a pinch lighter than average weight.

I am a cheerleader, valedictorian, Student Body President, president of the Chastity Club, and accepted to Yale University. I have never smoked, drank, partied, or participated in/encouraged sexual acts (my Purity Ring is proof). I don't bully others and everyone loves me. I am of sound mind and body, have no disorders or syndromes or issues that could disrupt my perfect life. I don't even have insecurities, though I am always humble. I am talented, having sung in talent shows and had my art displayed in museums, and I help others with their talents by volunteering at community centers.

I have a long-time boyfriend and we are in love; he would never do anything to hurt me. Neither would my football-fan father or sweet, baker mother. We eat dinner together at the table every night, they have stable careers, we each own a luxury vehicle, and we live in the suburbs.

I am going to be either a doctor, lawyer, or President of the United States.

If only I was real.

But there's no such thing as a perfect daughter, or perfect student, or perfect character.

There's no such thing as perfect.

So stop trying to make me exist.

Hope you enjoyed.