Years later tt all started all over when our (now former porn) star, Yuki Winters, woke up in a magical cornfield. It was the fourth time it had happened. Feeling scarcely displeased, Yuki Winters slapped a live hand grenade, thinking it would make her feel better (but as usual, it did not). Heart filled with earnest fortitude, she realized that her beloved Music was missing! She had finally dumped the banana for something more "cool". Immediately she called her parole officer, Akihiro Ochida. Yuki Winters had known Akihiro Ochida for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were saucy ones. Akihiro Ochida was unique. He was congenial though sometimes a little... abrasive. Yuki Winters called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.
Akihiro Ochida picked up to a very mad Yuki Winters. Akihiro Ochida calmly assured her that most South American hissing sloths sneeze before mating, yet disease-carrying chipmunks usually explosively panic *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Yuki Winters. Why was Akihiro Ochida trying to distract Yuki Winters? Because he had snuck out from Yuki Winters's with the Music only three days prior. It was a flamboyant little Music... how could he resist?
It didn't take long before Yuki Winters got back to the subject at hand: her Music. Akihiro Ochida cringed. Relunctantly, Akihiro Ochida invited her over, assuring her they'd find the Music. Yuki Winters grabbed her hammock and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Akihiro Ochida realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the Music and he had to do it recklessly. He figured that if Yuki Winters took the tricked out go kart, he had take at least four minutes before Yuki Winters would get there. But if she took the Segway? Then Akihiro Ochida would be very screwed.
Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Akihiro Ochida was interrupted by six clueless Shih Tzus that were lured by his Music. Akihiro Ochida yawned; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling angered, he deftly reached for his carrot and aptly hit every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent-the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the imaginery desert, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the Segway rolling up. It was Yuki Winters.
As she pulled up, she felt a sense of urgency. She had had to make an unscheduled stop at Sears to pick up a 12-pack of dull pencils, so she knew she was running late. With a skillful leap, Yuki Winters was out of the Segway and went scandalously jaunting toward Akihiro Ochida's front door. Meanwhile inside, Akihiro Ochida was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the Music into a box of ripened avocados and then slid the box behind his refrigerator. Akihiro Ochida was concerned but at least the Music was concealed. The doorbell rang.
'Come in,' Akihiro Ochida charismatically purred. With a skillful push, Yuki Winters opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some selfish spite-toting jerk in a magic flying carpet,' she lied. 'It's fine,' Akihiro Ochida assured her. Yuki Winters took a seat uncomfortably close to where Akihiro Ochida had hidden the Music. Akihiro Ochida sighed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Yuki Winters was distracted. Before the all-seeing eyes of a perpetually displeased diety, Akihiro Ochida noticed a oafish look on Yuki Winters's face. Yuki Winters slowly opened her mouth to speak.
'...What's that smell?'
Akihiro Ochida felt a stabbing pain in his kidney when Yuki Winters asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the Music right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A funny-smelling look started to form on Yuki Winters's face. She turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's dull pencils from when she used to have pet Indonesian devil cats. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Yuki Winters nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Akihiro Ochida could react, Yuki Winters randomly lunged toward the box and opened it. The Music was plainly in view.
Yuki Winters stared at Akihiro Ochida for what what must've been two seconds. A few unsatisfying minutes later, Akihiro Ochida groped explosively in Yuki Winters's direction, clearly desperate. Yuki Winters grabbed the Music and bolted for the door. It was locked. Akihiro Ochida let out a enchanting chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Yuki Winters,' he rebuked. Akihiro Ochida always had been a little stupid, so Yuki Winters knew that reconciliation was not an option; she needed to escape before Akihiro Ochida did something crazy, like... start chucking dangerous oil-soaked rags at him or something. In a blinding moment of misguided bravado, she gripped her Music tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.
Akihiro Ochida looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Yuki Winters. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame four days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Yuki Winters. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Akihiro Ochida walked over to the window and looked down. Yuki Winters was gone.
Just yonder, Yuki Winters was struggling to make her way through the lemur-infested moor behind Akihiro Ochida's place. Yuki Winters had severely hurt her fingernail during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Shih Tzus suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the Music. One by one they latched on to Yuki Winters. Already weakened from her injury, Yuki Winters yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing she saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Shih Tzus running off with her Music.
About eleven hours later, Yuki Winters awoke, her shin throbbing. It was dark and Yuki Winters did not know where she was. Deep in the arid swamp, Yuki Winters was alarmingly lost. Ever so extemperaneously, she remembered that her Music was taken by the Shih Tzus. But at that point, she was just thankful for her life. That's when, to her horror, a enormous Shih Tzu emerged from the magical cornfield. It was the alpha Shih Tzu. Yuki Winters opened her mouth to scream but was cut short when the Shih Tzu sunk its teeth into Yuki Winters's armpit. With a faint groan, the life escaped from Yuki Winters's lungs, but not before she realized that she was a failure.
Less than four miles away, Akihiro Ochida was entombed by anguish over the loss of the Music. 'MY PRECIOUS!' he cried, as he reached for a sharpened gerbil. With a apt thrust, he buried it deeply into his shin. As the room began to fade to black, he thought about Yuki Winters... wishing he had found the courage to tell her that he loved her. But he would die alone that day. All that remained was the Music that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant Shih Tzus, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'(
I know that both chapters seem connected and they are I think but they're still just SO RANDOM! What the hell was I thinking writing this 2 years ago? My mind is at a lost now... You can RxR but I don't know oh so confused...