Prologue

Things didn't seem right to me anymore, the essence of life had vanished from me, and everything was just senseless, obliged by the laws of nature to just exist and, eventually, degrade. I thought by now I should've had everything figured out, I thought I knew what my next big move had to be. Suddenly it struck me, I'm not living for myself anymore, I'm obliged as well to just be. Truth is I'm still sitting here, inside my head, the only place I can really be free without a fear. So many days I've contemplated to risk it all in order to find myself again, to feel alive. To be small and powerless, with no one to tell me who I am. I took my chances, and decided I was ready to face whatever may come from this, after all, it was my own doing, my own decisions and the consequences I'd gladly face because they are genuine and not based on alienated influences, or even pressure. As I held the knob, I felt a sudden silence take over my mind. There was no devil, there was no angel, and for a half second, I even felt I wasn't being myself, there was strangeness in it, and I did not know who this man was anymore. I had no initial idea, or what the outcome of this blindness and inner sense would be, I simply let it drive me.

About half a mile away I felt a huge regret, all ifs took a hold. By chance, the perfect distraction came along, as I was nearing the border where the forest started, untouched by humans. There only lived life itself, free of what it had created. My first step outside the boundaries was the only thing it took for me to realize how real this was, that it wasn't my every night dream, but the day I was born. I tried not to make much of this, as I thought it would scare me and make me want to go back to where I knew the rules. I know I've just thrown myself in a pool of the unknown, but this is what I was led to when everything else is all I know. About ten minutes passed in a matter of seconds, the moon was shining at its brightest, or perhaps it was just the first time I'd notice it without any disturbance. As I set my tent, under the night bulb in the sky, I lost track of time, there wasn't anything important I needed to attend to anymore. I could for once, actually sleep.