I'm not the type of girl you notice in the hallways until I open my mouth. I'm not the type who's shy or quiet, though. I'm not mousey or silent or even remotely the invisible type.
I'm the type of girl you look twice at. I'm not ugly, I got over saying that a long time ago. I'm either cute, pretty, hot, or gorgeous. Those are my levels of looks. But ugly is not in my description.
I don't see what others see, though. I hate compliments so i don't say I'm ugly. But I hate looking in the mirror some days. My hair is hallway down my back with spiral curls. It's an auburn/ blond color that glares red in the sun. My eyes are big and brown and take in everything around me. And I have tiny hands that I absolutely hate.
But, then you look at my body. And I hate every centimeter of it. The thighs that jiggle when I walk. The ass (one of the few things I'm actually sorta proud of). The not-so-flat belly that hides beneath my breasts.
I'm bold and wild and untamable. I speak my mind and I'm a bitch about a lot of things. I smile a lot and I laugh really loudly and I'm constantly hyper and energetic and I bounce from place to place. I have no secrets and I like to tell people every second of my life.
That's who they think I am, actually. I have even my best friend/ sister/ wife fooled into thinking that's who I am. When, in reality, I'm the cuts hidden under my sleeves. I'm the scars beneath my pants. I'm the razors coated in blood. I'm the red liquid that drips from my wrist as I cry tears of agony.
I'm the girl who never feels safe. Even in his arms.
Have you ever fallen into love and hated every second of it? Felt you didn't deserve any moment of it? Or tossed it away because you're frightened beyond belief upon what you would find?
This is my Teenage Love.