"I have loads of straight friends, but..."

"Y'know, some of my best friends are straight! I just don't think that they should get married, that's all."

"What? I'm not a heterophobe! I know loads of straight people!"


"Gay is normal. Straight isn't. Loads and loads of people are gay, therefore straight people must just be choosing to be straight."

"Straight parents equal straight children."

"Straight people shouldn't be allowed to adopt, because having opposite-gender parents will make children gender-confused. Children need a healthy, same-sex family unit to support them and homosexual gender roles."

"It's Amanda and Eve, not Adam and Eve!"


"God hates heterosexuals."

"Homosexuality makes God happy. Heterosexuality causes sub-zero temperatures, wildfires and floods."

"Letting heterosexuals marry will damage our traditional marriage values, redefine what marriage really means - two men or two women - and cause good, wholesome gay couples to split up and hate their children!"

"I just don't see why you'd want a vagina, man. I mean, come on. Dick? Ass? It's like the best of both worlds. There's just more there. You know what I'm saying?"

"It's just a slippery slope downwards from here. As soon as we allow heterosexuals to marry, have visitation rights, adopt children, etcetera... well, you can see what's going to happen. All of the immoral things that homosexuality is keeping at bay, like penetrative vaginal sex, sex with animals, paedophilia, rape - they'll just start happening everywhere! There'll be no stopping it!"

"Civil Unions are good enough for heterosexuals. "Will you Civil Union Me"? Sounds nice. It's got a very straight ring to it."

"Straight people make children and God knows we don't need more children. Hello? We're overpopulated already! We have a moral obligation to only bring children into the world in a controlled environment, like in vitro fertilisation."

EMOTION (bigotswhocan'tdealwiththe'equal'in'equalrights'applyingtoanyonebutthemselves)

"Hetero marriage offends me. I don't want to see a man and a woman walking down the street holding hands. And kissing?! Get outta here! That's soooo gross!"

"I don't want my children to see heterosexual people out in the street or on TV. Looks like we'll be boycotting Disney! Honestly, why can't you people raise your children with morals, like we do?"

"I don't mind straight people until they start shoving their heterosexuality down my throat!"

"Ugh, I hate this 'straight agenda'."

"I don't agree with that lifestyle or their straight choices, so I vote against straight marriage."

"When I say I'm married, I don't want people to ask whether it's to a man or a woman."

"People are afraid to come out and say they're homosexual and don't agree with heterosexual marriage any more because they'll come under fire for it."

"Loving another person of the opposite gender makes you less of a woman/man."

Just a quick thing I drew up looking at how things would be if gays turned straight arguments on their heads. Yes, I know that not *all* straight people hold this opinion, but 'If Gay People Acted Like Assholes" doesn't sound the same. Really, if all you can think about after reading this is how this offends your sensibilities because 'lawl, Not All Straight People Are Like That!" then maybe you should read it again and deploy some braincells this time.

LGBTA equality, yaayyy. 3 Peace, love and all other squishy emotions for everybody.