I was lost.
Despair, regret and confusion crept into my heart. I didn't know what was going on, or why I was here, or what I was doing. I felt like my mind was turning to mush and that it wouldn't be long before my head exploded.
I hear that Advanced Calculus does that to people.
I was sitting in a crowded classroom full of sweaty, smelly, frustrated college students. The college's air conditioning system broke, so for 3 insufferable days students have had to deal with the heat. People were fanning themselves with their notebooks instead of writing in them and pouring water on themselves instead of drinking it. The girl sitting to my right couldn't seem to move without her legs making a sticking sound with the chair while the guy on my left smelled like he bathed in B-O this morning.
So, to be frank, I found it a little inhumane that I had to deal with Advanced Calculus on top of all that.
Professor Tresley was clearly putting in the effort to capture the students' attention but it didn't seem to be working out for the poor guy. I was really trying to listen and write everything down, but it's hard when you haven't got the slightest clue as to what you're doing and are dying of heat.
"Psst...Skye!" I heard a loud whisper from behind me. I turned around to see Micheal, a fellow classmate who was drenched in sweat and who's hair dripped with what I hoped to be water. "You got any water?" He whispered desperately.
I shook my head apologetically and turned back around to listen to Professor Tresley. I started writing down the remaining notes before Professor Tresley clasped his hands together and said, "Alright. Clearly, none of you have paid attention this class." He looked around the room with a frown on his face and closed the binder in front of him. "While that's understandable, I can assure you many of you will regret that decision. I will see you all on Thursday. Have a good day and for the love of god, some of you go home and take a shower." A couple people laughed and he took his bag off his chair and started packing up, queuing everyone's release.
Conversation immediately broke out and I did my best to pack up as quickly as I could in order to leave. I shoved everything in my bag and slung it over my shoulder, hurriedly walking out with the crowd. I very much needed the outside air and space.
I was in a bad mood this morning. Somehow I didn't hear my alarm clock go off and ended up being late for class 30 minutes. In the process I hit my knee on the corner of my dresser causing a bruise to surface and somehow managed to fall up the stairs in front of a bunch of people causing the jocks behind me to call out and laugh. Not to mention the fact that I didn't even have any coffee.
Clairissa, my roommate and good friend, normally would have woken me up if she saw I wasn't awake, but she had spent the night at her boyfriend's house.
"Yo Skye!" I heard a deep voice call from behind me and I jumped. A group of frat guys were walking behind me, and while I didn't know a single one of their names they all somehow knew mine. "You coming to the rager on Saturday?"
I blinked confusedly and shook my head, although I didn't stop walking away. "Um...not this time." My feet carried me a safe distance away from them so I turned my head around and rolled my eyes before walking outside.
It had become a routine for the frat boys to call my name after class to ask if I was going to whatever party's were being held over the weekend. I usually always said no, unless my friend from high school Hazel or roommate Clairissa managed to convince me every once in a blue moon. Really, the only reason those kind of guys knew my name was because of Clairissa or Hazel. It bothered me.
I felt the lack of caffeine in my system as I walked along the path. The college had a couple coffee shops on campus, and, I remembered happily, one of them just so happened to be 2 minutes away.
I hurried my way there, anxious for the comfort it usually brought. Coffee Buzz was the name of the shop, and as I entered it the pleasant smell of freshly brewed coffee filled my nostrils. I inhaled deeply, pleased to see that it wasn't busy, and went to order an iced coffee.
"That'll be 2.30$." The barista said. I took out a 5$ bill and handed it to her, absentmindedly watching the other barista make my drink, even though my mind was elsewhere.
My friend Peter and I had decided to meet up after class today in the park. Apparently he wanted to ask me something, and I was dreading this encounter more than anything today.
The cashier handed me back my change and receipt as I went to wait for my drink.
You see, Peter and I had become "friends" at the beginning of last semester. Frankly, the main reason why we started talking was because I was absolutely horrible at macroeconomics. Math and I mixed like orange juice and toothpaste. Throughout our time I did my best to keep our "friendship" at the point where we couldn't even call it a friendship but a more-so familiar acquaintanceship. However, Peter made it a little hard for me to do that, so here we were.
Here we were, as in he were about to confess that he never wanted to be just friends in the first place. Well, neither did I, but I kind of wanted to go in the complete opposite direction than he did. But I mean, I couldn't exactly tell him that.
The first barista returned the change and receipt, with the second barista handing me the drink 30 seconds later. I took a sip as I walked out of the shop and practically groaned from how good it tasted. Unlike math, caffeine and I were like orange juice and breakfast.
The humidity in the air hit me hard as I walked outside and slowly down the paved path. Students walked in clusters all around me, and I breathed in a big gust of fresh air. The sun blazed on my shoulders and face as I walked, my hands already searching for my prehistoric IPhone 3G in my back pocket.
"Oh my god, I passed, bitcheeesss!" Someone, somewhere yelled. Like everyone else I ignored them, but it sparked a small sense of frustration in my nervous system.
If I was being honest, it had always annoyed me how people always took college for granted. They spent their weekends partying, their Monday's nursing their hangovers and the rest of the days procrastinating assignments. They were all just kids who lived off of their parents wallets and took nothing seriously.
I sighed. Well, lucky them, right? I'd always wondered what that kind of life would be like.
My phone buzzed in my hand as I directed my attention to it. I was walking down a wide pavement, walking on the edge of the path in an attempt to dodge all the college students walking in different directions around me. I unlocked my phone and read the text message from my roomate, Clairissa.
EYOO! CAN I BORROW YOUR BLUE TOP PRETTY PLS :) I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVERRRR
I chuckled as I started typing back a reply with my free hand. I didn't know why Clair always asked to borrow my clothes, it's not like they were anything special. In fact, the majority came from thrift stores.
LOL SURE THING, CL-
I suddenly slammed into someone.
The sudden, unexpected impact caused my body to bounce of the person. I felt my face hit their back and a freezing liquid seep through my shirt and down my body and neck.
Goosebumps surfaced on my skin, despite the unwavering heat outside. I stared down at my 'new' white shirt, momentarily stunned. It took me a few seconds to get over my initial shock, by which anger replaced it. Just as I opened my mouth and looked up, the words caught in my throat.
Standing before me was...was...the hottest guy I've ever seen. I couldn't help but look him over.
He was at least 6', wearing a slim black t-shirt and jeans. He was very well structured, demonstrated by his broad shoulders and defined arms. As my eyes traveled up to his face, it looked like it had been created by god himself. He had a strong jaw line and perfect full lips, accompanied with short dark brown hair.
I brought my eyes up to his and saw that they were a blue hazel. The hazel wrapped around the black of his iris, and gradually faded into a piercing dark blue. They were the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen.
He stared back into my own dark eyes and I felt my heart quicken. I had momentarily forgotten that I looked like a wet dog.
"Are you alright?" He asked. Somehow his voice matched his appearance perfectly. It was soft yet rough, clear, deep, confident. His voice brought me back to reality, where I felt the back of my neck go hot from embarrassment.
"Uh yeah, I'm fine..." I said, looking down to inspect my shirt, "I'm pretty sure I'll be able to wash it out."
His head did a side nod. I expected him to utter an apology like a gentleman ─ or at least, you know, a normal person ─ but instead I got a curt, "Well you probably shouldn't go walking into people like that." His tone implied that he had better things to do that stand here talking to me.
I looked up and raised my eyebrows in shock. "Sorry?" It was meant as a synonym for excuse me, but obviously he didn't take it as such.
He started turning to leave. "It's fine."
Wait, what? Was this guy kidding me? Not even a simple sorry?
I huffed. "Actually I didn't mean that as an apology, since you're clearly the one that slammed into me. An apology from your side would be nice," I replied, narrowing my eyes.
He seemed surprised that I even said anything. Did people ever talk to him that way? A rather unusual, amused look came to his eyes.
"You were on your phone. I was simply walking when you walked into me. That's not my fault."
"Doesn't matter, my shirt's ruined, therefore I'm the victim here." I said, very much conscious of the fact that my argument was invalid and self-indulgent, "Besides," I continued, "Who gave you the right to be so damn rude?"
He seemed to re-evaluate me, which made me slightly fidget. He smirked, revealing some of his straight white teeth. When he spoke his eyes locked with mine. "Just watch where you're going next time." He turned and started walking away.
It took me a moment to get over the shock of his rudeness.
"Jerk!" I yelled after him. I didn't think I've ever met someone so rude, arrogant or irritating. How I thought that he attractive a couple seconds ago was beyond me.
I noticed people were staring at me. I glanced back down at my dripping shirt and felt my face grow hot. I marched back to the dorm, ignoring people's stares and all the while fuming to myself. I was beyond annoyed. I was annoyed at my shitty day, at my stupid shirt at my stupid attraction to the rude and stuck up asshole.
Suddenly, my phone rang from my back pocket and Peter's face came up on my screen.
"Shit!" I said as I picked up and answered it. I replied a, "Hey Peter!" a little too enthusiastically.
"Hey Skye, I just wanted to make sure you didn't, um forget about us getting together or anything, 'cus uh, I've been standing her for the past ten minutes and you still haven't showed up..."
"Oh my god - Peter I'm so sorry! Some guy walked into me and I spilled my coffee all over my shirt and I had to come back to my dorm to change. I'll be there in less than fifteen minutes okay?"
"Yeah sure, take your time. I don't mind at all," he did a nervous laugh, "Um, can't wait to see you."
My heart clenched. "Okay, I'll see you soon."
After changing I quickly walked to the park where Peter was waiting for me. When I arrived I skimmed the park, looking for a tall, blond head.
"Skye! Over here!" I turned to see Peter waving and smiling at me.
I smiled back and headed toward him. Just be cool, Skye, be cool...
To be honest, I knew that any other girl would have thought that I was crazy for turning Peter down. He was smart, attractive, and kind. Don't get me wrong, I've considered it. But every time the thought even crossed my mind, I felt a little nauseous and light-headed.
A girl like me would never work with a guy like Peter, anyway.
"Hey Peter," I smiled, "I'm so sorry for making you wait. Some jerk spilt my coffee on me and I had to go back to my dorm and change."
"Nah don't worry about it," he beamed, "I'm just glad you're here."
I tried to return his smile but it felt awkward.
We sat down at a nearby table and started talking about random things. He seemed to chat about everything but 'what he wanted to talk to me about'.
"So..." I finally said, after much stalling on his part, "You said you had something important to tell me...?"
"Oh yeah," he mumbled. He started fidgeting, which was kind of cute in its own way. "Yeah..." He said again. "So...I don't know how to say this. Like I don't want to screw up or anything, you know? Uh...I know we've been having this thing and I was really..."
As Peter was speaking, a tall figure a couple meters behind him caught my eye. He was standing beside a black motorcycle with a girl talking to him. Black shirt, jeans, short brown hair, tall, muscled figure...
When I realized it was the coffee jerk, anger filled my chest. How is it that of all places, he had to be here?
He seemed incredibly uninterested in the girl and a strange sense of pity towards her washed over me. Could he be any ruder? I mean, who did he think he -
"So, uh, what do you think?" Peter asked nervously, interrupting my thoughts.
I blinked, "About what?"
"About...what I just asked you...?" Peter made a confused face, furrowing his eyebrows.
I willed my face not to light up red but I still felt my ears turn pink. Did I actually just completely tune that out? Did I really just do that?
No way was I going to admit I wasn't listening. I took a deep breath and prayed that I was on the right track with what I was about to say. "Right! That. That thing...that you just asked me." I took a deep breath, feeling incredibly stupid. " Um, Peter you're an amazing guy. Really, I love the fact that we're friends. I just...um...don't think that it would be better that we're anything else, you know? I think that we're a lot better off just staying the way we are and I wouldn't want to ruin the friendship by dating or anything..."
He was nodding, but with every word I saw his evident disappointment. "Oh," he mumbled, "Okay. Okay, that's cool too..."
I sighed and my eyebrows pulled together. I really should have been listening to Peter. I owed him that much. Guilt overtook me. He just looked so...sad and I felt terrible that I was the reason behind it.
I bit my lip as my brain searched for things to say to make the rejection better. "I never meant to hurt you, Peter, I swear. It's not your fault, I'm just...I don't know, not into the whole dating thing."
"No, it's cool," he muttered, "Don't worry about it. Seriously."
I nodded, not knowing what to say. There was an awkward silence of us avoiding each other's gazes before he said, "Well, I gotta go. I have an assignment due tomorrow that I need to finish up and stuff. Uh, I'll see you around, Skye."
"Oh," I said. "Okay. I'll see you later."
He gave me a small smile before turning and leaving. I watched him go, trying not to feel hurt that he just ditched me in a park.
I let out a breath. I felt terrible. This day sucked.
And once again, the tall figure a couple meters away caught my eye again. I couldn't help but fix my gaze on the coffee jerk. He was talking on the phone beside the motorcycle, which I assumed was his. The girl was gone; she must have given up trying or something.
I watched him and realized that he was arguing over the phone. His body posture was stiff and he was talking quickly, almost angrily.
A bird chirped, which interrupted my staring. I looked around, realizing that me sitting here, alone, staring at him must look really weird. I got up from my spot and started walking back to my dorm, a little out of sorts.
After a few steps I realized I was walking the wrong way. I sighed and stopped to turn around, noting that I would have to pass him in order to get to my dorm.
I took a deep breath and started walking, keeping my head high. I didn't have to make a big deal out of this. All I needed to do was walk past a stranger. I've literally done it a hundred times before. I was a self-certified pro at walking past strangers. You just walk by them and don't look at them. You pretend like they're not even there. You just walk by them and don't loo─
About 4 meters away, despite my attempted self restrain, I accidentally glanced at him. Of course, at that exact moment he hung up and looked ahead and for a second we made eye contact. I felt my pulse quicken and willed it to slow down.
We locked eyes. Time stopped. Everything froze around me, and it was just me and him, staring at each other. It was just me and those enticing hazel blue eyes, trapped in each other's gazes.
I was walking. I forgot that I was still walking.
I slammed into someone.
Please, for the love of God, don't ask me how I managed to do this.
"Sorry!" I said. The girl I had walked into kept her eyes to the ground and mumbled something like "Don't worry about it" and was quickly off on her way without another word.
"Happens to you a lot, doesn't it?" A voice said beside me. I knew who it was and for a second I considered simply pretending I didn't hear him and keep walking.
I mean, stuff like this just doesn't happen in the real world. Stuff like this doesn't happen to me. Why was this happening to me? What the hell had just happened, Skye?
I turned around, exasperated. I knew my face was probably red and I repeatedly cursed myself and my luck.
"As a matter of fact, no, it doesn't."
He chuckled. "Well now I'm wondering if these are just poor attempts to capture my attention."
I glared at him, not surprised by his massive ego. "Well now that I had the displeasure of running into you twice in a day, I can confirm that that is not the case"
He crossed his arms and leaned against his bike, a glimmer in his eyes. "Most girls would be thrilled to run into me twice in a day."
"It's riveting to know that you have so much self confidence." I replied sarcastically. Why didn't I just continue walking? Why was I still standing here?
He flashed a smile, "It's part of the charm."
I rolled my eyes. "Uh-huh." The dimple in his cheek became more prominent which made him look even more attractive which made me even more irritated.
So, with nothing else to say or do, I smiled tightly, turned around and started walking away, when my phone dropped out of my pocket after a few steps.
Was this a joke? Was the universe just out to get me? Did I do something really bad that made karma get me?
For a moment I almost wanted to just leave my phone on the ground and continue with my dramatic exit. I sighed and walked back, but coffee-jerk beat me to it. He chuckled and bent over to pick it up, handing it to me. "You seemed to have dropped this." He said, amusement seeping into his voice.
I smiled tightly, trying to hide my embarrassment and took my phone from his extended hand. "Thank you." I said acidicly and quickly turned around.
While I was still in his sight I focused hard on not tripping or bumping into anyone this time. I still couldn't believe that that had just happened. On the entire walk back I fumed.
When I reached my dorm, I entered my room and collapsed onto my bed. I refused to think about coffee-jerk or Peter, even though that was all my brain seemed to want to think about.
I heard the toilet flush and realized Clairissa was home. I heard her footsteps enter the room and stop to ask, "What's up with you?"
"Nothing," I mumbled unintelligibly.
"You sure, Skyebear?"
"Yeah, I'm alright." I confirmed as I sat up on the bed. "What's up with you?"
"Nothing really, things with Mark are going fantastic! He's an animal, you should have seen -"
I laughed. "Okaay Clair I really don't need to hear the details."
She smiled, "Alright then, suite yourself. How'd calc go?" She asked as she flopped onto her bed.
"It was miserable. Depressing. Maddening. The usual."
Clair giggled. "Maybe a cold drink or some ice cream will cheer you up? I'm dying of heat."
I groaned. "I think I've had my dose for the day. I have an assignment I need to start before I go to work."
Clair rested her cheek on her hand. "You're always studying or working. You can go out and have some fun every once in a while."
I blew hair out of my face. "I have lots of fun."
She waved her hand, "Please. We need to find you a boyfriend or something." She got up from the bed and stretched. "Oh!" She exclaimed, clapping her hands together, "By the way, how'd that thing with Peter go? Did it happen?"
I groaned in response.
Clair chuckled. "I still have no clue why you shot him down. The guy's perfect for you. Are you a lesbian or something?"
I laughed, getting up from my bed to get my schoolbag. "I thought we've been over this? I just don't do the whole dating thing."
She made a face. "No offense, but that's really dumb. You have guys drooling and chasing after you everywhere you go. You could have anyone and instead you choose no one."
Instead of answering, I just rolled my eyes and opened my bag. Clair gave an exasperated sigh and got up to walk in the bathroom.
I went to my desk and took out my textbooks. Doing homework was one of the only ways I could stop all the thoughts swimming in my head and replace them with new information and knowledge.
Right now I was thinking a lot about coffee-jerk and it annoyed the hell out of me.
I shoved all my thoughts aside and got to work.
WARNING: I'm currently reviewing this story and changing small details. If you're reading this right now and somedetails don't add up in the later chapters, it's because I haven't edited them yet.
Just so you know!