My friend theorizes our souls reside in our chests
That's why we ache in our chests when we're sad
Or feel butterflies and have trouble breathing
I feel mine a lot
Our hearts only function to keep us living
They just pump our blood
they aren't connected to our emotions
souls make sense
I want, for one moment, to stop feeling
everything I feel is too strong
and it all ends in tears because I don't know
how to express it or let it out
so tears spill
as I smile and laugh at myself
My grandfather died the summer of 2012
I cried for one reason and one reason alone
My grandma was alone
My grandma met him as a child
They started dating freshman year
They married right out of high school
They stuck together the whole time
after more than forty years
a few weeks pass
And he's gone like that
why can't I stop crying
soulmates never die
what if I've met my soulmate
What if I never do
What if I've passed mine up
she said 'grandpa was here today'
'what do you mean?'
'I went with your parents to shoot a pistol
'and every time I shot
'the gun jammed'
'I shot the first two of a round and it jammed both times
'handed it off to your ma
'and she finished off the round no problem
'both your parents shot round after round and no jams
'every single shot jammed when i did'
what am I supposed to say
'I'll be gone one day too.'
when i cry it's like opening a floodgate
no going back until it's empty
I wonder about my soulmate
I wonder what their gender is
I wonder what things we'll have in common
What will we tell each other about?
Will we grow old together?
I wonder if we will live in an apartment
and if I will be an engineer
I hope we don't have kids
I would be a terrible parent
I don't want to die alone