My friend theorizes our souls reside in our chests

That's why we ache in our chests when we're sad

Or feel butterflies and have trouble breathing

I feel mine a lot

Our hearts only function to keep us living

They just pump our blood

they aren't connected to our emotions

souls make sense

I want, for one moment, to stop feeling

everything I feel is too strong

and it all ends in tears because I don't know

how to express it or let it out

so tears spill

as I smile and laugh at myself

My grandfather died the summer of 2012

I cried for one reason and one reason alone

My grandma was alone

My grandma met him as a child

They started dating freshman year

They married right out of high school

They stuck together the whole time

after more than forty years

a few weeks pass

And he's gone like that

why can't I stop crying

soulmates never die

what if I've met my soulmate

What if I never do

What if I've passed mine up

she said 'grandpa was here today'

'what do you mean?'

'I went with your parents to shoot a pistol

'and every time I shot

'the gun jammed'


'I shot the first two of a round and it jammed both times

'handed it off to your ma

'and she finished off the round no problem

'both your parents shot round after round and no jams

'every single shot jammed when i did'


what am I supposed to say

'I'll be gone one day too.'

when i cry it's like opening a floodgate

no going back until it's empty

I wonder about my soulmate

I wonder what their gender is

I wonder what things we'll have in common

What will we tell each other about?

Will we grow old together?

I wonder if we will live in an apartment

and if I will be an engineer

I hope we don't have kids

I would be a terrible parent

I don't want to die alone