AN: I'm late I know. Sorry. I just been so busy with the end of school and such. Anyhoo… here it is and there is lots of smutty goodness for your reading pleasure. :)

9. The Five Stages of Grief

Cy's POV

I have to say that loving Bliss Cage is the most difficult thing I have ever done. I keep telling myself it will get better. But two weeks into Bliss's depression, I was starting to question my sanity. This should be the last stage though. That's what the psychologist Willa recommended told me. I wasn't too sure.

Bliss had already been through the denial and bargaining stage. He was in those before his mother's final death two weeks ago. Now was the depression. I think Amy, the psychologist, has forgotten the anger stage. She just thinks he is going to skip it. I was just waiting for him to get mad at me for checking him out, I told him about it with a chair between us just in case. I didn't want to get punched like Elliot. All he said was that it wasn't the time to discuss it. I was hoping that time would never come.

"Oh thank god," I exclaimed pretending to be out of breath. Bliss was sitting on the sofa in the living room in almost the exact same position I had left him in when I went to work. "All day I was worried that you would get off that couch and it would just float away!"

He rolled his eyes. "Funny." Joking back, that was a good sign.

"Yeah, I should've been a comedian." I sighed placing my briefcase on one of the side chairs. I went to the couch and pulled Bliss into a sitting position before sitting next to him and wrapping an arm around him. He didn't smell too pleasant. "Did you shower today?"

He just shrugged.

"Did you eat?"

Another shrug. Uhg… not a good sign.

"Alright, shower, food, and then we are going for a walk. You know out in the real world," I said getting back up and pulling him with me.

"I don't wanna," Bliss pouted. I ignored him. Sometimes tough love is the best choice.

"Take off your boxers," I demanded as soon as we were in the bathroom. I started to take off my clothes too.

Once we were both naked and in the shower I pulled him into a bear hug and held him tight. "I love you," I whispered. He shook his head. "Yes, I do."

"Why?" he asked starting to cry again, which melted my heart.

"Because you're brave and loyal, funny and charming, you snore when you sleep and you're eyes are the color of heaven. Your pancakes are to die for, and you seem to fit perfectly in my arms."

These are things I told him every day. He was having a hard time accepting that I loved him. I was only a little upset that he hadn't returned the sentiment.

"You're too good for me," he sobbed.

I sighed and began to wash him. "I'm not too good for you. You deserve to be loved Bliss."

"I don't snore," he laughed. Oh, back to the joking. That was great.

"Because you would know," I grinned giving him a gentle kiss.

"I'm sorry I've been such a downer lately Cy."

Oh, this was new. Could it be that he was moving into the acceptance stage?

"It's okay baby. Everyone needs to grieve," I said gently dropping to my knees in front of him. He stared down at me.

"What are you doing?" he asked with a smile.

"Making sure you're thoroughly cleaned."

"Yeah, hygiene is important," he moaned as I stoked him to full hardness.

"It is," I breathed against his beautiful cock. I bent forward and licked the slit. He let out a gasp and his put his hand on the wall behind me to steady himself.

Usually I didn't initiate sex. I didn't want him to think that was all I wanted from him. But, I felt like he needed the endorphins today. Especially since I was making him leave the apartment after the shower.

I took the head of his cock into my mouth and continued to stroke his shaft with my right hand. With my left hand I massaged his balls because I knew better than to neglect them.

The erotic sounds that were coming from him were making it hard for me not to stop what I was doing and take him against the shower wall. Instead I took it a step further and took him deep into my throat.

I felt his hand in my hair. I pulled him closer to me by gently massaging his soft ass.

"Cy, I… oh god… I love you." He moaned as he came down my throat.

Oh now he loved me, when I'm giving him head.

I stood up and tried not to show how much it hurt that he had confessed his love to me during oral sex.

"Let's finish showering and then I'll take you out to eat," I whispered gently caressing his cheek.

He bit his lip and nodded.

I took him to a nice Italian place that was near our condo. Titus was on duty that night and he sat at a few tables away from us. As far as I knew Bliss was still pretending Titus didn't exist.

"So usually on Saturdays I have the gang over and we drink and play games, discuss the week's events," I told Bliss after our food had arrived.

He looked up from the food he was barely eating. "They haven't been over that last two Saturdays."

"Yeah, I know. I didn't think you'd be up for it, but I was thinking maybe now you might be ready."

"It's your home Cy. You don't have to ask me if you want to have a party." He took a small bite of his chicken.

"No," I whispered grabbing his free hand. "It's our home. I want you to feel comfortable with having people over before I have them come back."

He bit his lip and looked down at his plate. "They all know… that I am…"

"You were." I cut him off knowing what he was about to say. "Now you're not, and even if you still were no one in my group of friends would have the right to judge you."

"Okay, a party sounds fun," he answered looking up at me with a forced brave face.

"Honey, we don't have to do it yet, we can wait. If you think you need more time to adjust…"

"No, I said let's do it, so let's do it," he replied a bit loudly. He looked around and sighed. "I know I need to move on, it's just really hard."

"I know baby," I pulled his hand to my lips and gently kissed the back of it. I looked up at him as I did and my eyes fell on to a man leaning against a car outside the restaurant. He was barely visible in the glow of street lamp, I was certain he was looking straight at us though.

I waited for Bliss to look back down at his plate to sneak a peek at Titus. His eyes weren't looking directly out the window but he winked at me as if to say he'd seen the man as well. Suddenly I wanted to get Bliss back into the safety of our apartment.

"If you're not hungry we can get it to go," I suggested nonchalantly. He looked up at me and narrowed his eyes.

"You've barely touched yours either."

I looked down at my handmade raviolis. "Yeah. I guess I'm not that hungry either."

"I wouldn't mind taking this food to go and watching some Kitchen Nightmares on Netflix," he smiled.

"Yeah, will there be cuddling involved?"

"Oh yes, one can't watch TV without cuddling."

"I'm in," I said excitedly and I waved at the waiter.

"I used to bake when I worked at that café. I was pretty good. Maybe I can go to the store tomorrow and get some ingredients and bake something for Saturday," Bliss suggested as he pulled back the covers on our bed sometime later.

I couldn't keep the smile off my face. He was sounding excited about something. "That sound's great," I said nodding with enthusiasm.

He grinned at me. "Only you would get so excited about baked goods."

I got in the bed and he got in beside me moving close. I wrapped my arms around him and sighed happily.

"Can we have sex?" he asked.

"Do you want to?" I replied.

"Yeah," he answered kissing my neck.

Mention of sex made me remember his confession in the shower. Suddenly I didn't want to. "I'm kinda tired."

"I can do the work. Or just return the favor from earlier," he whispered.

"Do you love me?" I blurted out.

"Yes. Of course I do."

"Do you know how many times you've said it?"

"I…" He looked like he was trying to think about the answer. "Oh god… I only said it…. oh Cy. I'm so sorry."

"And…" I prompted.

"I love you," he promised. He rose up on his arms so he could see me face he looked sad.

"What?" I whispered caressing his face.

"It's just, these past two weeks you've been taking care of me. And I haven't been taking care of you at all. I'm sorry."

"Shh… don't worry about it," I whispered leaning up so I could kiss him. I gently pushed his shoulder back so that he was lying flat on the bed and hovered over his body. "I love you."

I straddled his legs and bent over to the side table to grab the lube. I rose to my knees as I coated my fingers and then he realized what I was about to do.

"Cy, I've never topped before…" He whispered.

"There's a first time for everything," I grinned as I started to prepare myself. I was a little nervous because I hadn't bottomed in a long time but I tried not to show it.

I whimpered when I removed my fingers and he put a hand on my hip. "You don't have to do this Cy. I like being a bottom."

"This is a special occasion," I teased pouring more lube on my hand and spreading over his cock. He moaned at the attention. Willa had run STD tests on both of us and we were both clean so we didn't need condoms anymore.

I couldn't help the slight gasp of pain that came out of me when I started to lower myself onto him.

"Cy," Bliss whispered in concern.

"It'll pass," I whimpered not stopping my slow descent. I went still when the pain became a bit too much.

He grinned up at me. "You sure, I'm pretty big."

I rolled my eyes pulled up slightly then pressed back down. I growled in frustration when I realized I only had him half way in.

He giggled and I scowled down at him. "Have I ever giggled at you when you're trying to take this?" I asked slapping his stomach playfully with my cock.

"No, but I've always taken it like a pro." He smiled grabbing my cock from me and stoking it. "I love taking this bad boy."

God he was so fucking hot. I rose up once again and then back down. "Almost," he groaned his fingers digging into my hip.

I tried one more time and finally he filled me to the brim. I moaned at the sense of accomplishment. "Fuck you're so tight,"

"Mmm," I replied closing my eyes and trying to focus. Bliss's hand was still stoking my cock and that was the only thing keeping me from going soft.

"Just take it slow," he said the hand that had been gripping my hip went up my stomach gently. I looked down at him and smiled. He was taking care of me now it seemed. I slowly moved back up. "That's right," he praised me. "Nice and easy."

I came back down a bit faster causing him to let out a moan. I pushed back up and down and continued over and over slowly increasing the pace until the only thing that could be heard in the room was the steady pounding of flesh against flesh. I could hardly breathe. The pain had been replaced with pure pleasure. "I love you so much," Bliss moaned below me.

"Yes," I replied because I couldn't form a bigger response.

"So much," he growled. "Oh god Cy, I…" I felt him explode inside me and I continued to ride him until he was begging me to get off.

I collapsed beside him feeling empty but complete at the same time. He turned and locked his lips with mine his hand gripping my cock and stroking it slowly. "Your turn to cum," he whispered against my lips and soon I did.