If only you knew how it feels.

If only you knew what i went through

The childhood i had

The types of things i had to endure while in all my pain

I had no one to hold no where to go

It was me against the world

Me against the darkness

Me against myself

I was weaker than everyone

Trying to be like everyone

I was someone everyone made fun of as soon as you walked to a large room

All you heard was laughter

You already know who they're laughing at but you stay strong on the outside while on the inside you've broken down having an anxiety attack. Too much pain.

Every where you look it your big ass lips

Having "lip" as a nickname or being called horse teeth, ugly, made fun of for being small.. I always thought being quiet would keep them away but they always came back..

I wanted to fight back so bad but i would only stoop to their level. I would just become one of them. I always tried to avoid them but the never went away. 5th grade one of my worst years of my life. Whenever i try to write about this i can never do this but someone told me they wish they could be as strong as me, but what they don't realize is that i was weaker than i could ever be.. When i could no longer endure the pain in 7th grade i started to cry in the front of the class. Everyone felt bad then. The whole world froze. That was my chance to turn the table but i just couldn't. I was to scared. Second chances rarely come around but one came and i told him i know he's just playing around. I knew they weren't they were too serious for that. As i progressed my night grade year became a huge tragedy for me. It was the worst for me.. I would always try and fit in and sit with the "cool kids" but they don't. They'd join. I was stupid. I even helped them cheat.. I was only trying to fit in. Be like the rest of them. It wasn't in my nature to make fun of them but i still laughed. I became one of them.

By the end of my high school year the dust settled and they left me alone. Now they like nothing ever happened before. I shook their hands though. Why? Because i already forgave them. I already know that i will always be stronger than them. I will never forget them though. Even the ones that thought i wasn't listening. All the girls that would say stop but laugh in my face.. I can finally say i've found peace in myself. Only i know what i've been through.. If only you know what i've been through.