Some people are born happy, and they stay that way. I was one of them until my world turned upside down, 6 years ago. Do you ever reach the point where you think life is pretty much over, like it has no meaning and you are a mere puppet in the hands of the world. You just learn to roll with it. You're the living dead. But sometimes there is another point in life. Where you meet someone who reminds you that you're special, worthy and that life isn't over. That's two points. Want to know the third one? It's where you find out that you don't really matter to that person; it was just all an act. And to be very honest it hurts more than the first one. I reflect on myself experienced, why? Because I have been through all of the points and I don't need more learning, why? Well simply because it hurts.
"Hey, Marvin", I waved up to him when I saw him in the corridors with his friends. He looked at me, surprised for a second, then almost hurt and turned away without saying a word. I am not a kid. I damn well know what that means. He is embarrassed about being friends with me. That hurts. That is the point which hurts. For a moment it felt like somebody had slapped me hard. It stung. Bad. I just stood there as he walked away with his friends not turning around even once. Finally recovering from the shock I started to walk slowly, to where? I wish I knew. Rachel had been hanging out more with Janet lately. Not that I mind. Ruby and I weren't exactly on talking terms since the incident happened. And I liked it that way. She just usually cried to sleep. That was the part I didn't like, I didn't like her either but I don't like people getting hurt. I decided to just go to my room, cry if I needed to and don't care if Ruby saw me.
"You okay?" Ruby asked me as soon as I entered the room.
"I guess I do"
"Just leave me alone" I could feel her eye burning into me. Why did she suddenly care? Was this an attempt to be nicer? Or a setup? I had learned my lesson of trusting people. Her words cut through my thoughts, "I was following you, saw what happened"
"You followed me? Like seriously? Haven't you done enough?" I raised my voice more than I meant to and she just nodded.
"It's not about you, I was just trying to make conversation 'cause I really need to talk" her tone was somewhat desperate, which surprised me.
"What do you want to talk about?"
"You came up to me that night, when I was crying"
"I just thought you were hurt so I…."
She cut me through half of my sentence, "I was- I was hurt. I'm sorry about being a pain in the ass. It's wrong, I know it's wrong. But if you knew me, you would understand" before I knew it, she had started crying
"Ruby, I don't know, I just don't. You never bothered to talk. I don't hate you, we could be friends. Just please stop hiding behind the evil mask. I know it's not you"
She wiped the tears with her sleeve "My parents, they never died, they just left me here. Like I was some sort of junk. I don't believe it sometimes. How could they do that to me?" she put in her hands this crying more than I had ever seen her. I went up to her bed and put one arm around her, "It's okay, we will help each other through. It'll be fine"
END OF FLASHBACK
"Rise and shine" I walked up to Ruby's bed. "Just five more minutes, please" she moaned into her pillow and I laughed at the childish behavior. We both had grown really close after our brief heart to heart.
"All right, but have fun in detention" I started to walk to the washroom when she suddenly got up as if someone had electrified her "I'm up!"
After we got ready I walked up to the door and found a note lying there.
Meet me at the garden before breakfast.
"Let's go!" Ruby passed me, motioning for me to follow her.
"Uh- you know, I just forgot to do homework. You go on I'll catch up"
"What the hell do you want?" I rolled up the note and threw it at Marvin's face as soon as I reached the garden
"Okay I deserve that, but can you hear me out?" he said raising his hands in protest
"Hear you out? Can you even hear yourself? You jerk, embarrassed to have a 13 year old as a friend? You said I was like your sister. This is what you treat your sister like, huh? Like a load of crap?" I must have been pretty loud since he backed up a step or two, his expressions hurt and disappointed.
"You have no right to say how I treated my sister" he just said quietly, talk of patience. "I know my friends, they're not the most civilized people and I didn't want them to see you"
"Right" I said rolling my eyes, "You expect me to believe that, you know I don't believe anything you say now"
"Lydia, please just-"
"Lydia nothing, I don't know what to believe about you anymore Marvin"
"Lydia that is the real reason, I said you were like my sister, this is what your brother would have done"
My blood boiled up in my veins, "My brother? You have no right what so ever to judge him. You never knew him" I tried to hold back the tears but it was hard so I let them flow "he was my brother and didn't know him and you never will, that's what hurts the most. That he's gone. So are you, just stay away from me, stay away"
"Lydia please, try to understand"
"Shut up! Shut up. You just crossed the line bringing him up Marvin, you don't know much he meant to me or you would never bring it up" I wiped my tears and turn around, "I guess I don't know you Marvin, or is that even your real name" with that I walked out and he just stood there, the wind blowing his blond hair and the sun making his already blue eyes more piercing. I cursed myself for thinking that I had seen Athan in him. I had insulted my brother. I walked slowly to the cafeteria, "I'm sorry Athan" I lightly whispered. And for a moment I thought heard someone say, "It's okay". A shiver ran down my spine and I turned around to see Marvin standing with his face down, but even from that position I could see the hurt expression on his face and against my better judgment I told myself he deserved it.
"Hey, done with the homework?" Ruby asked me when I settled on the table.
"Yes, I finished it forever" I started eating and Ruby, Rachel and Janet gave me this look like I was crazy
short, I know. sorry, I'll try make the next one longer