Gone Fishin'

Bubba – Not the brightest redneck.

Clint – Also not the brightest redneck. Has a touch more common sense.

Narrator – Optional part. Offstage. Used to make application in the end.

(The stage is set up with a blue tarp laid down to be water and a row boat placed in the middle. In the boat should be a fishing pole, a paddle, a bucket, and a shotgun. Bubba and Clint are in the boat and Bubba is paddling the boat.)

Clint – (Hushed) Oh! Oh! Now Bubba stop the boat right here! I think we got a lot of fish beneath us right now.

Bubba – (Excitedly) Oh! We got lots of fish beneath us!

Clint – Now Bubba, hand me that there fishing pole. (Bubba hands it to him) I think we're going to have catfish tonight!

Bubba – Catfish tonight! That's what we're having!

Clint – Oh I think I got one already! (He begins to reel it in) I… Oh man… That one got away Bubba.

Bubba – Bye catfish!

Clint – You idiot! Don't say bye to the catfish! What's wrong with you?

Bubba – Oh, oh… Sorry there Clint. I do got lots of things wrong with me. Mostly, people say I'm stupid! (Pauses. Busts out laughing) But we all know that ain't true! Right Clint?

Clint – (Sarcastically) Oh you are about as smart as a one legged turkey hanging round at thanksgiving time…

Bubba – (Pauses and looks confounded. Brightens up) Well thanks Clint! I knew you didn't think I was dumb!

Clint – C'mon let's throw out another line. I want me some fish (Casts his line out) Now Bubba where's your fishing pole?

Bubba – (Pulls out the shotgun) Oh I got it right here Clint!

Clint – Bubba! Why in the world did you bring a shotgun out fishing?

Bubba – Well you said to bring a fishing pole… It looks like a pole… And I think I could probably get some fish with it.

Clint – And how are you going to get 'em out of the water?

Bubba – Uh… With your fishing pole?

Clint – No! (Pauses then gets excited) Bubba! Look at that catfish right there! That thing looks huge!

Bubba – Wow! That's a big 'ole catfish!

Clint – C'mon Bubba! I'm going to try and throw my line right in front of it! (Casts and waits for a moment) Oh! It's swimming under the boat!

Bubba – (Suddenly and loudly) I got it Clint! (Aims the shotgun and blasts a hole in the bottom of the boat)

Clint – (Angrily) Bubba you idiot! I can't believe how stupid you is!

Bubba – Oh… I'm real sorry Clint… Here (Aims the shotgun again and blows another hole in the bottom of the boat)

Clint – Why in the name of peach cobbler did you do that!?

Bubba – Well… We got two holes in the boat now. We got one for the water to come in through, and we got one for the water to go out of!

Clint – (Throws the paddle at him) Just start rowing! (Pauses) We're sinking quick! I don't think we'll make it back!

Bubba – (Fearfully) Clint, I can't swim!

Clint – Oh… We are not going to make it!

Bubba – But Clint! I can't swim!

Clint – (Looks back at him) I'm sure you'll float just like a rock! (Dives overboard and pantomimes swimming off stage)

Bubba – (Happily) Aw… Thanks Clint! (Realizes rocks don't float) Wait… Clint! (Paddles rapidly and eventually exits the boat)

Narrator – Sometimes life gives us a great picture of our spiritual walk. Bubba and Clint found out quickly that there's a great difference between the boat being in the water and the water being in the boat. The Christian life is the same way. There is a great difference between the Christian being in the world and the world being in the Christian!