My Darling Kittols,

It's been a wild wild ride.

This year was different in many ways, firstly in that for the first time in our friendship we spent so much time apart. While I still saw you on snapchat and facebook, it wasn't the same as seeing you everyday in person. It was strange to see you making new friends without those people becoming my friends as well. I was a tiny bit jealous and sad to see that we had both moved on and made other friends but I understand now that that was a good thing. In some ways I'm really happy that this year happened the way it did because I learned that even if we're seriously apart in the future, whether one of us moves away for a job or graduate school, our friendship will always be strong and unique and 'us'.

I don't think I told you this but about a week after I moved back, Mike and I had a fight and then I had a huge problem to deal with and I felt so utterly alone and sad because Mike was my everything and I thought without him I didn't have anyone I could rely on, and then, as my anxiety is spiking, my phone vibrates and I see a text from you. And it said "You can always talk to me if you want " and right then after reading that text I felt something change inside of me. I still felt kind of sad, but this time there was this underlying message that told me "you have a friend and everything is going to be okay". So I want to thank you not just for that moment, but for always being there for me and listening to me, even when I'm not making sense, or being stupid.

I don't think I can ever get mad at you. Just last week you dropped a microwave on me and I couldn't get mad or really care too much about it. I remember you hugging me tightly and saying "Oh my god! I'm sorry! I love you! Are you okay? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" but there was no need to apologize because I had already forgiven you.

Note: This is not me giving you permission to injure me further in the future. Please don't. We were lucky with the microwave.

I'll always forgive you - despite your boogers, stupid ideas, or weak arms - because you're one of my closest friends and because I love you (but in a non-sexual way - don't get your hopes up).

I can't believe you're really 19. I'm so proud of you for all that you've accomplished and overcome. We went from being scared, kind of fucked up teenagers to mature, and intelligent young adults.

I want you to know that I respect and admire you a lot and I'm so very happy that I'm the only person who can call you my Kittols. I hope you have a wonderful Birthday. Someday we'll get drunk when we're both legal but for now, you can pay for the booze ;)