Mature Behavior In The Restaurant
35 year old Monica Billard escorted her seven year old son Andrew into Willie's Cafeteria. She said to him "mature behavior is required in this restaurant."
Andrew nodded and they went through the line.
Monica got the fish meal that was on special.
Andrew got the kid's meal. The kid's meal consisted of a hot dog, apple quarters, and a brownie. They both got coke to drink. When they sat down Andrew held up his hot dog and said "look mom this hot dog is burnt."
Monica immediately stated "oh no it is burnt."
Andrew replied "it looks like the toy you took to bed last night when your boyfriend came over."
Everyone looked up at Monica.
Monica is ready to cry from the embarrassment and she said "shit Andrew."
Andrew commented "I thought language like that wasn't allowed in restaurants like this."
Monica groans and then gets Andrew's hot dog replaced.
Five minutes later Monica's cell phone rings.
Andrew answered it.
"Dad it's you."
Andrew then said "so far it's good we're at Willie's Cafeteria."
Andrew stayed on the cell phone and further added "well now that I was able to get a new hot dog I'm happy. My first one was burnt."
Soon after that Andrew said "mom was not happy she had to get my hot dog replaced."
Then Andrew says "um hmm."
Andrew hangs up the cell phone.
After Andrew hung up the phone Monica snapped "Andrew I wanted to talk to your father."
Andrew asked "about what?"
Monica explained "Andrew it's my cell phone and when someone calls we can assume that I'm the person they want to talk to."
Andrew asked "even if it's dad?"
Monica answered "especially if it's your dad."
Andrew asked a second question "even though you're divorced?"
Monica answered "yes."
Andrew asked a third question "even though you said I never want to see that motherfucker again?"
Monica snapped "ANDREW!"
The whole restaurant looked up at Monica.
15 minutes later Monica and Andrew finished their dinner and cleaned up. They headed out of the restaurant and into the entrance foyer.
A little old lady followed them.
The little old lady yelled "EXCUSE ME BUT YOU AND YOUR KID MADE THINGS VERY MISERABLE IN THAT RESTAURANT! CHILDREN SHOULD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD! NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR DIVORCE OR YOU SHACKING UP WITH A BOYFRIEND! YOU HAVE NO MORALS!"
Monica grabbed a bowl of custard that a takeout customer was holding and dumped it over the little old ladies head.
Andrew laughed and Monica grabbed him and ran to her car as fast as she could.
When she got home she told Andrew to go upstairs to her room.
Monica's cell phone rang again and she saw her best friend Jane Mole was calling.
Monica said "hello Jane."
Jane said "hello Monica. How are you?"
Monica answered "oh great Andrew and I had dinner at Willie's Cafeteria."
Jane said "oh you know what my grandma was there tonight as well."
Monica replied "oh yeah you told me your grandma would be in town how did she like the food at Willie's Cafeteria."
Jane said "well she had a bad experience so she's upset right now and so am I."
Monica said "well we've been best friends for five years so you can talk to me all about it. What went wrong? Did she not like the food?"
Jane answered "she liked the food but there was a lady in the restaurant with a little boy and they behaved awfully. They were vulgar, loud, and she was disgusted. When she followed them out of the restaurant to give them a piece of her mind the lady grabbed a bowl of custard and dumped it on her head."
Monica said "wow who would have done that?"
Jane answered "well I don't know but if I'd been there I would have murdered the bitch. I have to go now and help get my grandma cleaned up."
Monica said "okay good bye."
After hanging up and walking into her kitchen Monica suddenly realizes she was the one who did it.
She starts crying and says "oh no, no!"
Monica then let out a big loud scream.