Mommy Fell In The Toilet.

By Shadowgate


Thelma Harman was an English Teacher and just turned 40. She was married with a seven year old daughter named Polly.

Thelma wanted her daughter to read more. One day when Thelma was watching television a commercial came on that caught her eye.

Commercial Narrator "Many have grown up with the books 'Where the Sidewalk Ends' and 'A Light in the Attic.'

"Now a new book of poems for children is out. It's called 'Mommy Fell in the Toilet."

The Narrator goes on to say "your children will love reading poems such as this one about Old McDonald."

The television screen shows a boy reading "Old McDonald sitting on a bench. Hitting his knee with a monkey wrench. Then he hit his knee and hit his balls. Then he started to piss all over his overalls. He went to the kitchen and he went too fast. He rammed his finger up his grandma's ass. Then his grandma said 'get your Goddamn finger out of my asshole."

The narrator went on to say "oh and this classic poem about France is sure to be a winner with children regardless of the country they live in."

The television screen shows a little girl doing an Egyptian Style Dance and singing "we live in France where the naked ladies dance. There's a king and a queen with a rubber ding a ling. There's a hole in the wall where the men can see it all. There's a great big tower where the Princess takes a shower."

The narrator goes on to say "here's a cute poem about Popeye."

The screen shows a boy tap dancing and he recites the poem "Popeye the sailor man, lived in a garbage can, let off some gas and blew off his ass. Popeye the sailor man."

The narrator then states "this will be a book of poems that the whole family can enjoy in an era where vulgarity in public is the norm. Oh now for some hickory dickory doc."

The television screen shows a boy dressed like a gangster and he recites a poem.

"Hickory Dickory Dock, Your Momma Was Sucking My Cock. I Pulled My Pants Down Because Your Momma's The Biggest Slut In Town. Hickory Dickory Dock!"

The Narrator says "order now only $19.95."

Polly ran out of the living room and yelled "Mom I've discovered a book I want to read!"

The End