I can't take it.

My head is a whirring machine of regret, like a soldier backtracking his path
And I wish I could say that I'll regret what would have passed by now
But I can't.
And all I will say, is that cowardice is braver than you think.
For who would risk their life for an uncertain living?

I regret having this face, this body, these eyes;
I regret what I've seen and what I cannot un-see
I regret every word I have said and every word I missed
But most of all, I regret being me, as I could have saved everyone the hassle.

This life wasn't meant to be - how was it meant to happen?
I take this choice on my own accord; so your conscience is clean
I, and only I, wanted to let go;
To fall.
And as good men fell, I will fall.

My imagination is alight with what you might do
In the knowledge of my pain and suffering
The scene plays like an old film
You would hold me close and tell me you care.
And I would care too, but to care is not enough.

Care won't save me from myself, or, in fact, from anyone else
I won't be saved from my drowning in the regrets of my existence
Just remember me, for my living, and in your own darkest hour
My death will be no barrier for joining you there.

Sorry.


Okay, so just a little disclaimer, this poem is actually written mostly by a friend of mine called Jess Cooling. I know i don't have to say really, but she deserves the credit.