This was made for purely humorous purposes. Don't take any of this seriously. Have a sense of humor while reading this, please.


Once upon a time... why am I even bothering with this "once upon a time" crap? It's so cliche. Sounds like the beginning of some stupid fairytale. Seriously...

Well, anyway, there was this girl named Miranda. She was a rather ordinary-looking girl who- what? You don't believe me? You think I'm giving you a lame-ass excuse to not describe this girl?

Fine. Here's her description, if it's such a big freaking deal to you: Miranda has straight brown hair that reaches her shoulders and bluish green eyes. She's about 5'4, with a splash of freckles across her cheeks. How's that for a description? Huh? Huh?

Now, as I was saying, this girl loved the art of storytelling. She read a lot, and her shelf was just chock full of books. But of course that's unimportant. What's important is that she wrote stories. A lot of stories. Miranda was just filled to the brim with raw imagination.

Now you want to know how old she is? Eh... fifteen. Why do you care, anyway? Are you planning on stalking her or something? Well, to all you creepy pedophiles out there, I'm NOT telling you where she lives, Nor am I telling you her last name, in case you search her up on Facebook or something. All of you people out there who aren't creepy pedos and are just genuinely curious, then just imagine a random city and pretend she lives there. You do have an imagination, don't you? Pretend she lives in New York. Or Chicago. Or Las Vegas. Or New Orleans. Or Sacramento. Or, perhaps you can pretend she doesn't even live in the U.S. Maybe she lives in London. Or Paris. Or Tijuana. Or Dublin. Or Venice. Or Toronto. Or freaking Timbuktu! I can really care less where you think she lives, just- you get my point, right?

Sheesh, if you keep asking me ridiculous, unimportant questions, then I hope you're comfortable, because you'll be stuck here for at least a week.

Thank you. Moving on.

Now, Miranda loved to write, but like all writers, she encountered a few problems. She had moments when her writing seemed to suck. She had days where she was so busy she forgot to write, and continued being so wrapped up in life that suddenly her chapter that she was about to post on Fictionpress is barely going to be posted a month late.

No, I'm not telling you her Fictionpress penname. But that's because- Oh, fine, her username is Miri501. Do you really need to see the stories she wrote right now?

Whatever. Just stop interruping me, okay?

So, as I said, Miranda had times when she doubted her mad writing skills, and times where she couldn't find the time to write. Or, there were times where she couldn't write, even if she wanted to, even if she had all day to write. These days, she was plagued by a horrible demon that seemed to suck the imaginative soul out of her. A demon that all writers are familiar with. A demon that is simply known as... Writer's Block.

CURSE YOU, WRITER'S BLOCK!

Ahem. Sorry, had to get it out of me.

Thankfully, Miranda's current predicament wasn't any of those. Rather, the current issue she was facing was quite interesting, in fact. The isssue was that her characters simply wouldn't listen to her.

Yes, that is a legitimate problem, as any self-respecting author would know.

The argument she was having wasn't really going anywhere at this 'd decided that one of her characters, bad boy Austin, was going to fall madly in love with good girl Katelynn, who would end up returning the feelings. Sarah would be with Brett, and Ashley would be with Jayden. It was all going to be very straightforward, very easy.

But alas, it couldn't be that simple. As you should already know, it is never that simple.

Because while Austin was, in fact, into Katelynn, he was also into Ashley, and so was Brett. Jayden and Sarah were together, and they weren't going to break up anytime soon. Ashley wasn't into any of them, and while Katelynn seemed to have eyes only for Austin, she secretly had a gay crush on Sarah, who was her BFF (not that she'd ever admit it. In her opinion, it was much too awkward to to tell her obviously straight best friend that she liked her in that kind of way. Especially since she was already in love with Austin, despite his reputation).

Needless to say, the story wasn't going the way Miranda intended it to go.

You want to know what her characters look like now? Well, then, go check out her profile and she if she's posted the story yet. If she has, you can read it, because she no doubt has a description in there somewhere. If it's not, then stop worrying about it. I'm not going into detail right now. I don't have that kind of time. I'm a very busy person, ya know?

Don't look at me like I'm lying. I AM busy, and I so obviously don't spend all my free time at home having no life. Don't question the validity of the statement, because I am so obviously NOT lying through my teeth.

Just come up with your own descriptions to satisfy yourself.

Anyway, she was currently trying to convince her characters to stick with what she planned, but to no avail.

"Jayden, come on, you're supposed to be with Ashley, not Sarah," Miranda sighed. This was a complete mess.

"Why should I? Ashley's already occupied with two other guys. At least I know Sarah isn't planning on leaving me anytime soon."

"But that's how it's supposed to be!" Miranda protested.

"Says who?"

"Me. I am the author, after all."

"A totalitarian one," Jayden muttered under his breath.

"I heard that!" Miranda snapped.

"Good. Maybe if you realize how horrible you're being then maybe you'll decide to be nice for a change and let us be together instead of insisting on having us do things according to your stupid plan."

"But it's my story!" Miranda insisted.

"Well, we're the ones living in it, so don't you think we should have a say about what goes on?"

"He has a point, you know," Austin called.

"So, what, you think I should let you pursue Ashley and Katelynn at the same time? I mean, who likes love triangles, anyway? They're messy, someone always ends up getting hurt, and anyway, they're way too cliche."

"They'd make the story interesting," Austin offered.

"And so would the fact that Katelynn likes Sarah," Miranda muttered sarcastically.

"They are best friends," Jayden pointed out.

"Yeah, we're best friends," Katelynn chimed in, showing up suddenly in the room where the conversations were taking place. "Of course we would like each other. As friends. Isn't that how you wanted it?"

Katelynn's voice was perhaps a little too insistent, almost suspiciously so, but naturally Miranda was the only one who noticed that.

"Just let us do what we want," Jayden pleaded. "It's not going to ruin things."

"How do you know that?" Miranda asked.

"I don't," Jayden admitted. "But we wouldn't be here arguing if you let us decide who we want to be with instead of dictating who we should be with like some queen bitch."

Miranda groaned, getting a headache from all the arguing.

"I give up," she muttered.

In the end, things actually went pretty well. The issue was resolved before anyone could catch Miranda talking to imaginary people inside her head, which would've ended up in her being sent to the mental hospital. It wouldn't have been her fault, though; most people couldn't tell the difference between a writer and a crazy person.

Yes, there IS a difference.

Miranda's characters got what they all wanted, but in the end things went somewhat in Miranda's favor as well. Austin and Katelynn were together, Jayden and Sarah were together, and Ashley and Brett were sort of together, although Ashley was still a bit cold hearted.

And now for the moral of the story.

Of course there's a moral. There must always be a moral of the story. Otherwise, how would we ever be able to learn anything?

Anyway, the moral of the story is that you should always let the characters get what they want. It was a good thing Miranda listened, because if she hadn't eventually given in, then all her characters would have eventually rebelled against her, and that would have been a major disaster.

But you would do the same thing, too, wouldn't you? If you weren't allowed to live the way you wanted to and be with the person you love with all your heart simply because the writer that made you insisted that you stick to some agenda that you as a character didn't know all that much about, wouldn't you be mad? Wouldn't you want to give them the one-finger-salute?

Of course you would. I shouldn't have even had to ask.

Anywho, dear readers, that is why you should never, under any circumstances, force characters into doing something they don't want to.

It is their story, after all.