"Oh, Satan..." Frog sighed deeply in contentment. Their eyes were wet and half-lidded as they stared at their lover, the Dark Lord Satan, gripping his strong, graceful hands within their own green, webbed ones. "Look at the moon. It's full tonight."
"It looks beautiful." Satan replied softly. He pulled Frog closer to him, stroking their moist, naturally slimy skin which he had always loved so much. "Just like you." Frog blushed deeply. Or at least they would have, if they weren't a frog.
With his arm around Frog, Satan shifted his gaze from the bright full moon that lit up the night sky and turned it into cloudy shades of blue and purple and black, to the water in which their boat sat in. He could see small fish, of all kinds, darting through the reflection of the stars on the surface. He saw galaxies in the water, muddled with the image of his own face. He saw happiness. He saw finality. After an eternity of stagnation and boredom, he finally had something precious, something good.
Frog shifted to the edge of the boat and stuck their webbed hands in the water, rowing the two of them farther out into the lake.
"Hey, thanks for taking up the rowing, sweetie," Satan called out.
"Oh, it's fine." A breeze had begun to set in and Frog found themself shivering. "Is this far enough out?" Frog looked around. The coast looked so distant in the night fog and the lake seemed to stretch out for ages. They had once discussed going to this spot once, long before they had even talked of getting married. Frog remembered it vividly. It had only been a few months after they had moved in together.
"Hey babe," Frog had been lying on the bed that day when Satan walked in. "Did you remember to pick up the dry-cleaning?"
"Mhmm." Satan set the basket down on the counter before plopping down next to Frog.
"Long day?" Frog murmured.
Satan sighed. "You wouldn't believe the nerve of these people. Send one or two righteous people to hell by accident and all of a sudden the world's about to end!" He pulled a pack of Camels out of his suit jacket before tossing it on the coat rack. He lit one, blowing the smoke up to the vent. "You should have seen it, all the demons running around trying to find the poor fuckers, Judas laughing at me from the Ninth Circle, the dumb bastard. They almost sent me Metatron!"
"Metatron? Really?" Frog took a cigarette. They grimaced as they inhaled. "Argh. I don't really like Camels."
Satan laughed. "You only ever liked lights anyway, you wimp."
"Shut up! It's just not healthy, that's why. But it's hard to break a habit." Frog smirked and shrugged. "You should switch to lights."
"It's not that much healthier."
"It's a little healthier. And a little goes a long way, you know that. Even for immortals like you."
There was a moment of silence as they smoked.
"You know, I was talking to a friend of mine at the pond today. We were out catching food for the younguns when she told me that she had recently bought a cabin near the lake we used to live at," Frog said finally.
"Really? That one place you're always talking about, with the pretty trees and the tasty flies?" Satan played with Frog's webbed hands. "You love that place.
"Yeah." Frog turned over and put their hand on Satan's chest. "She said that if we ever want to come down there, we're welcome to. How about it?" they asked hopefully.
"It sounds great."
Frog paused, their tongue flicking out to lick their eye. "You don't sound so sure."
"Well, it's just that…" Satan sighed. "I'm really busy with work nowadays. Population's growing, and more people means more sinners, you know? Plus upper managements been a real bitch. They keep setting ridiculous deadlines for paperwork. Ugh." Satan put out his cigarette and lay back with his hands behind his head. "I never liked that stupid Nine Circle system. Just put them all in one place, not like it matters to them."
There was another silence. Unlike all the other ones, this one wasn't comfortable.
"Sadie?" Frog murmured, using the nickname that he couldn't resist.
"You ever think about the fact that you'll outlive me someday?"
Satan closed his eyes. "You ever think about the fact that I tempt people to do terrible things?"
"Yes. And I don't care. I love you and what you do and everything about you."
Satan turned to look at his beautiful amphibious partner. "Then my answer is the same. No matter what may happen in the future, I love you right now and that's all that matters."
The butts of their cigarettes glowed in the ashtray. The embers faded into darkness as they kissed, soaking in the finite, the temporary, the dying moment.
Frog found tears running down their face.
"Frog?" Satan leaned forward. He shapeshifted so that he was smaller, to give Frog more space. "Frog, are you alright?"
"I tried. I really tried." Frog sniffed. "I tried to forget what tonight is. What tonight really is."
Satan pulled Frog closer to him, enfolding them in his arms. "I'm sorry."
"The worst part is that I know I'll get over you." Frog looked up into Satan's eyes. "I know I'll forget about you eventually. I'll still have the memories, but the feelings...they'll be gone. They'll fade and stagnate and the bliss will be over. Of course it's going to hurt at first, but that's not the worst part. I'll invite the hurt in, nurture it, let it grow and mature and move out, and when it does…" Frog gripped the front of Satan's shirt tightly. "When it does, all that I'll be left with is resignation. That...that will be the worst part."
Satan grit his teeth. "This is why we aren't supposed to fall in love with mortals," he whispered. He sighed and Frog could feel the heat, the fire on his breath. It always stuck with him, even when he shapeshifted into human form. Frog had always loved that about him, but now it only served as a bitter reminder: that devils belong in hell.
He had simply been on Earth too long. A few weeks ago he had gotten the message from Metatron that his time was up. All of upper management knew about his "affair", as they had called it. And it was time for him to go back to hell: permanently.
They had made use of the little time they had left and gotten married, like that had always wanted. And their honeymoon night, on the clear lake of Frog's childhood, lily pads floating by and moonlight on their faces...that would be their last night together.
"I've been alive since nearly the beginning of time, and I've never met anyone like you. You're my favorite short-bodied, tailless, largely carnivorous amphibian."
Frog couldn't help but grin. "Really?"
"Yes. Oh, and look!" Satan reached into his pocket and pulled out a small package, showing it to Frog. It was a pack of Camel Blue...lights.
"You're finally smoking lights?" Frog laughed. "I thought you said you don't have to cause you're immortal!"
"Hey, you said it matters, right? Well if it matters to you, I'll do it. I'm switching to lights," He grinned. "In your memory."
Frog smiled and wiped away their tears. "I'm glad I met you. I'm glad I got that, at least, even if I can't stay with you."
Satan rested his head on Frog's shoulder. "I'm glad I met you too." He sighed with relief. "I'm glad I won't have to outlive you," he whispered, almost inaudibly. Frog said nothing, only kissed his forehead.
The lake was quiet and still, the only sounds the breaths of the two lovers.
Eventually, only one.
"A lot of people think animals don't get to go to heaven. Well, we thought that was an absolutely preposterous idea, and so we decided, several centuries back, to change the entry restrictions. Now all animals with good spirits are allowed." Metatron rambled on as he took Frog on the grand tour of heaven.
"And if you look to your left, here we have the Muslim Jannah, with rivers of milk and honey and…"
"Um, sir?" Frog interrupted. "Or ma'm, I'm not exactly sure what…"
"It doesn't matter, sweetheart, I'm an angel."
"Okay...angel." Frog looked down. "Would it be possible if I could visit…" They trailed off.
Metatron sighed. Frog didn't even have to finish their sentence.
"I know, I know. You want to see your ex-husband."
Frog cleared their throat. "He's still my husband."
"Right, sorry." Metatron sighed. "Worst case scenario, he would have to sneak in to meet up with you, but I wouldn't hold my breath on that one. It's really hard to pull that off. Not that old Luci-er, I mean Satan, hasn't done it before, but still, we've got new restrictions, like I said." Metatron smacked their lips thoughtfully. "I could try to talk to my boss about it? I wouldn't get my hopes up, but hey, it's worth a try. For love, right?"
Frog nodded mournfully. "Right."
Metatron patted Frog on the back. "Oh, come on chap, chin up! You're at the pearly gates! Be happy!" Metatron grinned. "You made it. You lived a good life, died old, and here you are!"
Frog smiled. "Yes, it is pretty nice."
"Bit of an understatement, but I'm glad you agree." Metatron looked at Frog. "But I will do my best to arrange something for you and Lucifer. Er, I mean Satan." Metatron laughed. "Sorry! I still call him by his old name, from back when we were angels together. Ah, look how far we've come, eh? I'm an archangel now, and he's...well, he's lord of darkness."
Frog laughed as well. Metatron yawned. "Well, that was the grand tour. If you have any questions, feel free to contact the human resources department." Metatron shook Frog's hand. "It was nice meeting you. Now I'd better be off, lots of things an archangel's got to do. And I'll let you know about old Luci, alright?"
"Right!" Frog called out as Metatron flew away, disappearing into the light.
Frog continued walking, wanting to do a bit of exploring before settling down in their new afterlife. As they took a step, Frog suddenly felt something strange beneath their foot.
"Huh?" They raised their foot and looked down.
There was a cigarette butt on the ground. Camel Blue, light.
Frog heard an old, familiar voice behind them and a warm, bubbly happiness began to fill their insides.
"It's not that hard to sneak into heaven."