Rock 'em, Sock 'em: Coke vs. Pepsi
"I am the champion cola soda in the world!" exclaimed Coca-Cola proudly. "In fact, I'm the champion of all sodas, cola or otherwise!"
"You know that not true, Coke," said Pepsi, "I am the champion of sodas, especially in America."
"Hey, take that back!" said Coke angrily.
"No, I won't," said Pepsi, "It's true, and I won't deny the truth! You are slightly my inferior."
"Who are you to say that?" shouted Coke. "You're the one who's inferior!"
"No, you are!" Pepsi smirked.
"No, you are!" said Coke, really pissed off. "You want me to show you how? Heads up!"
Coke revealed his hidden arms and punched Pepsi down with one clobber.
Pepsi retaliated. "Hey! Who do you think you are? You won't get away with that, you inferior species!" He got up and knocked down Coke in turn.
"Why you…!" Coke roared, and soon they were duking it out right there in the refrigerator. Coke rocked Pepsi until his bottle cap rattled. Pepsi socked Coke until he thought he couldn't take any more. But Coke made quite a comeback, pounding Pepsi in the plastic gut like a Rock 'em Sock 'em Robot. Pepsi regained the upper hand soon, however, and then Coke began to go down on his plastic hide.
Finally, when it looked like things were going bad to worse for both of them, Coke aggressively punched Pepsi in the "neck," knocking the soda pop bottle down for the count.
"Hahaha!" boasted Coke, "Now let's see who's inferior, Pepsi!"
"Hey, how could you have won?" asked Pepsi. "I clearly had the advantage!"
"You made one fatal mistake," Coke said proudly, "With Coke, you twist the cap to refreshment, as the old slogan goes. You, on the other hand, cannot boast that, now can you?"
"No, but another old Pepsi slogan says there's more ounce to the bounce," argued Pepsi, "and so I was stronger than you!"
"Stronger, yes, but not more cunning," said Coke, "And people always prefer brains over brawn, don't they? I'll be out of this refrigerator in no time, while you're gonna linger in it until you expire."
Just then, the refrigerator door opened, and a young man reached for and took Pepsi.
"WHAT?" Coke cried, "You want me, you dope, not Pepsi!"
Pepsi laughed. "Now who's inferior, Coca-Cola?" he mocked, "See you later, alligator!" The refrigerator door was closed again.
Coke muttered to himself, "I guess the kids of this era really do have all brawn and no brains."