Conversations with Cats

So that was it; her friend of five years had decided to remove her from her life. If Annie was going to be truly honest with herself she had seen it coming, once they were insepearble but Annie was only starting to realise how much she took for granted. Her former best friend Laura had a way about her, she wasn't like anyone else you would come across demanding yes, everything had to be her way but she was a true friend at the core.

"You know moping won't get you anywhere,"

Annie suddenly sat upright brought up out of her drunken stupor, looking all around-she knew she was alone. "You're just imagining things. There is no one here." She told herself.

"Oh no?" The voice answered.

Annie looked around her, getting worried now, how much had she had to drink?

"Yoo hoo up here,"

The bushy haired brunette looked ahead to where this "voice" was coming from.

"That's better." The voice said

Annie was bewildered there was no one there so where was this voice coming from? She got up of the stool and walked towards the back door, there was no-one outside or near the window, had she finally cracked?

"Human I'm right here."

Human? Annie's eyes bulged.

"That's better Annie." The voice replied as she turned to face Laura's rather fluffy grey cat, Cheese, who was sitting up right on the windowsil.


"Yes m'dear," he nodded.

"How, what..." Annie took one look at the bottle of wine she had been drinking. She preferred vodka, but this West Coast Cooler was that was in the house and for this light weight a full bottle was more than enough. "I think it's time I go to bed, you know you've drunk to much when you are imagining a cat talking to you,"

"If you say so, but you're the one talking to yourself, and talking back to this cat, might I add."

Shaking her head in disbelief Annie left the kitchen and stumbled up to bed rubbing her tired eyes. But someone had already beaten her to it.

"Oh come on,"

"Not until you hear me out," Cheese replied curled up in the centre of her unmade bed, flicking his tail impaitently.

"Fine, but please keep it short, I just want to sleep." Annie resigned, joining him on the bed, back to the wall.

"Just because Laura has decided never to talk to you again does not mean it is the end of the world."


"You heard me, I'm sick of seeing you moping around the place."

Shaking her heard once again, Annie could not believe she was actually having this conversation with a cat, her former friend's cat who up to this point she was convinced hated her.

"What?" Cheese asked.

"You're Laura's cat you know what she's like. I've pissed her off one too many times not to mention all my other friends are hers-"

"That's true you really know how to get under her skin,"

"-I know I'll never be forgiven. I killed her dog. You now how much Lilo meant to her."

"Well that's true but you didn't mean it. It's not like you were cruel to it or knocked it down you were just-"

"Irresponsible. Lilo ate something that made her sick and it killed her. She ate something probably from those bin bags that I never took out. Laura never forgets to take them."

"Ok so you're an irresponsible moron who shouldn't have pets, satisfied? Puppys are hard work they're like human kittens constantly needing to be watched and you didnt have your eyes on her the whole time.. I know, besides I read somewhere that pitbulls are known for going after rubbish."

"That doesn't make me feel all that better you know..Wait, cats read now?"

"Yes, we surf the internet too, but I my paws can't work the arrow clicker, you need to get the older ones so I can use it. It gets awfully boring looking out the same windows you know."

"You mean a mouse?"

"Where?!" Cheese sat up suddenly licking his lips.

"I mean the arrow clicker on the laptop, its called a mouse."

"Oh," he laid back down looking somewhat deflated. "Anyway where were we? Yes. You need to forgive yourself."

Tears welled up in Annie's eyes threatening to spill over. "How," she sniffed, "Or rather why? You know Laura has had a tough year and a half and we've never seen her as truly happy as the way she was with Lilo."

"That's true, and as irritating as that puppy was this home is a darker lonelier place without her. Speaking of irritating," Cheese added as the door creaked open and the littlest member of the household entered the room. Muffin was a short white fluffy kitten with a stripy tale who constantly purred and tried to meow. Muffin hopped up on the bed almost immediately began to purr loudly placing himself on Annie's lap. "Besides," Cheese continued,"Laura has never really lost anyone before, this kind of grief is new to her, so naturally she'll lash out.

"She has every right to. I'd hate her if I were me too. Can he, you know?" Annie nodded at Muffin.

"Talk? No. He can barely meow," Cheese stared at Muffin as the little kitten tried to clean himself. "Regardless of whether or not she hates you, you need to get it together. Your life does not revolve around her. You need to discover your own self. That won't happen grieving for a puppy and a doomed friendship. Surely you knew you two wouldn't be together forever?"

"Yes, but I wish we could have parted on better terms and not at the expense of a puppy."

"Its a cruel world, and nothing anyone can say will change it. You still have a future ahead of you, you need to focus on that."

"I know, I know." Annie yawned, wishing she had something better to say, looking down she didn't have the heart of the energy to move little muffin of her lap, instead she surrendered her battle of sleep.

The following morning Annie woke up with a pounding headache, stiff neck and an empty lap. Recalling last night's conversation she plodded down the stairs, concluding that it had all just been a dream. However as she entered the kitchen she found herself questioning her own logic as there sat Cheese on the kitchen table appearing to be reading a newspaper.