Matter of the Heart

Elysia sat opposite PC Karen Davies in the bare, brightly lit room. Her heart pounded as she stared back defiantly into the policewoman's hard, stern eyes. Karen switched on a voice recorder.

"You are Miss Elysia Aspinall?" She asked.

"I am," said Elysia steadily.

"Your date of birth?"

"21st December 1997," said Elysia, rolling her eyes. So much pointless bureaucracy!

"And you have come to testify about the rape of your friend, James Doherty?"

"I have," said Elysia.

"Suppose you start at the beginning?" suggested Karen.

Elysia took a deep breath and began to relate her tale as the recorder whirred on. She forced herself to confront the memories of that fateful night.

Jack had always been her best friend and the love of her life. They had been friends ever since nursery school. She had crept up to him as he played at the water trough and he had grinned cheekily and poured the contents of a toy watering can over her head. Jack had got told off for being mean, but Elysia had been honoured at the attention, because it meant that they were now friends.

They had stayed friends throughout their school years. Jack had grown into Elysia's ideal of a perfect boy. Such a beautiful freckled face, so perfectly sculpted. He was so fit and athletic, with coppery, red hair, eyes of emerald green and the most beautiful smile she had ever seen, a smile that could light up a whole room. Was he aware exactly how beautiful he was? She could never be sure. Elysia felt sometimes that she envied him somehow. Surely, she had thought, she could not be so shallow as to go for looks alone? What difference did looks make? Could she make herself as beautiful as he? She had once tried to make her cheeks rosy and to apply freckles to her face using makeup, but the result had been laughably bad. She had been complimented before on the rich tan hue of her skin, but it was obvious that her complexion was not light enough for her to have red hair. What a fool she was, thinking she could be just like him! She had let the idea go; furiously scrubbing the makeup off and then glaring at her sopping face in the mirror. Her reflection glared back at her with her bright, black eyes. She shook her mop of dark curls and stormed out of the bathroom. Later she had had her hair straightened, but it was not as though she matched her own ideal of beauty, even then. She would much preferred to have resembled Luca Hollenstelle. She had seen pictures and there was a girl who was as gorgeous as as her friend. But there was more to Jack than his unparalleled looks. More than his beautiful smile and the oblique, staring expression of his that so fascinated her. It was how he was a part of her life...

Once, when they were in middle school, some lout, a boy inferior to her friend in every way and blatantly jealous had chucked things at him in class. In break time, she had gone over to him and knocked him down and sat on him, ordering him to apologise. Jack implored her to let the idiot up, so she had done, but she had sworn to herself that she must bring justice to anyone who wronged her friend.

He had had girlfriends of course, but she was his oldest friend and their bond could not be broken. She herself had had sexual encounters alright, but never a boyfriend. How could she while her heart belonged to Jack? He had discussed his serious girlfriend with Elysia at some length:

"I just wish I knew how to kiss Kate, so that I won't make an eejit out of myself," Jack had said, shaking his head.

"Well what are you worried about? Don't you have a technique?" Elysia had asked, cocking her head to one side.

"Of course I have me technique," he mumbled, his cheeks flushing that exquisite shade of rosy pink that only he was capable of.

"But what? If your technique is good, then you are sure to impress her, but how will you do it?" said Elysia, peering into his shimmering, green eyes.

"Can't quite describe it," muttered Jack.

"Show me then?" said Elysia softly, taking his hand in hers and rubbing the back of it, as she often did to show affection. So Jack had shown her. They had kissed, mouth to mouth, so that he could really demonstrate. She had advised him not to shove his tongue so far into a girl's mouth straight away, but to lean in slowly so as to make her eager for more. She did not tell him, but the touch of his mouth to hers, even only as pretend, thrilled her to her core and she knew that Kate or no Kate, she must have more.

A school disco event came up that Easter reached its height and Kate and Jack had a stormy breakup. Elysia watched fascinated, lolling against the wall as Kate openly snubbed Jack in the corridor. "It's over Jack," she had told him primly. "Maybe your creepy friend will take your mind off me," and with that, she flounced away.

"Some girls are so moody," said Elysia, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, you OK?" she asked, quickly pulling him into a hug. "She was stupid, it's all her loss," she whispered right in his ear. The upshot was that Jack didn't feel quite strong enough to seek out a new girlfriend yet and he and Elysia went to the disco together as friends.

"Got to be careful, anyway, handsome guy like you," Elysia had warned. "I wouldn't be surprised if all the girls and some of the boys fancy their chances at getting into your pants." She felt her face grow hot as soon as she said that, for Jack appeared very uncomfortable. "Sorry sweetie," she patted his arm. "I'd defend you from them anyway."

At that moment, Karen's penetrating voice cut through Elysia's narrative. "So you were afraid that your friend would be raped at this event?"

Elysia raised her eyebrows at the bluntness of the question. "The police had warned us before about this kind of thing."

They had indeed both been warned by a policeman who had given a lecture on drugs on the possibility of drinks being spiked, but in the noise and flashing lights of the disco, it was hard to focus on a drink the whole time. Elysia found herself bothered by a spotty lad with bad breath who wore too much cheap aftershave and Jack was squealed at by a group of air-headed girls. She had drunk a bit, enough to warm her, but not enough to lay her out. She had always taken care not to let her own drinks out of her sight, but she couldn't mind Jack's as well, with all the distractions. This proved to be a problem. Suddenly Jack tugged her arm: "feel sick," he managed, "could be something in the drink." The sound of the disco almost drowned his voice out.

Elysia felt icy cold anxiety well up inside her, but tried to stay calm. "Can you stand?" she asked, offering her arm. They staggered out, Elysia supporting Jack, who seemed to be laying quite a lot of his weight onto her. She was sure he would not make her bear his weight if he could stand by himself. It was likely that his drink had indeed been spiked. They staggered into a side room and Elysia pushed him onto a couch and gripped his shoulders, peering at him intently. His freckled face was very pale and his green eyes unfocused. "Can't get up," he murmured.

"Oh no, oh no," moaned Elysia. She quickly turned and bolted the door of the little room and then hugged Jack tightly to her. "Who could have done this? I'll kill them," she muttered. "I'm here, I'm not letting you go." She snuggled up to him on the couch, feeling the firm muscles of his arms and pressing her breasts firmly into his chest. She nuzzled him on his soft neck. "I love you," she purred, "I always have." Somehow it seemed less embarrassing to tell him this, now that he was so vulnerable. She kissed him on the tip of his cutely formed nose, but it was not enough. She ached for more. Why couldn't she suck off every freckle, if she felt like it? She hugged him even tighter and he gave a little sighing noise. His breath did smell funny. He had been slipped something, she just didn't know what. She could feel his manhood rising as she ground her body into his. "Poor baby, you're so cute when you're helpless like this," she whispered into his ear. "I could do anything I want with you. But I won't of course." Suddenly the thought struck her - why not? She could show him how she felt, not tell him. Why should she always hide what she wanted most? She sat up and pulled off her top and her bra. "I know what will make you feel better." She straddled him as he lay beneath her looking up, still bleary eyed. "Just relax," she advised. "I'll show you the pleasure you should have been getting from me. Kate was no good for you." She leaned in close and her curly hair spilled into his face. She brushed it aside and spoke to him softly; "I've got no protection, but I would be happy if you got me pregnant. Maybe our child would have that pretty, freckled face I used to want for myself?"

Suddenly, Jack spoke up; "we can't do this," he said, his voice weak and husky. "I want to wait until marriage. And you're my friend, not a girl friend. I mean a girl who is a friend."

Elysia felt a rush of indignation she could not explain. Why shouldn't she be a girlfriend? Why shouldn't he want to make love to her? Or did she barely qualify as a girl? She put her hand over his mouth and glared down at him. "Quiet," she warned. "Let me love you." His manhood was betraying him. It was rising, rock hard beneath her. She tore away his pants and then jumped on him. Although he was unwilling, she did not pause to reflect until the dawn came.