Observations of the Invisible

Lisa Kelly hooked up with Sebastian Sinclair.

I wasn't sure of this, because I was never sure of anything when it came to Sebastian. The only clues I had to go on were the subtle looks Lisa was giving him. His expression remained as impassive as always. It was disconcerting how difficult he was to read. Most of the time he's like a closed book, but then it will suddenly open. That's when you find out that the pages are written in disappearing ink. You're left wondering if you really just read what you think you did. It frustrates me in my role as an observer in this school.

I'm Jade Wilson, and I am invisible. Well, not really, but it feels that way at school. Who did my parents think they were fooling when they named me Jade? My name sounds exotic, but I am the most ordinary person. Being the janitor's daughter at an elite school doesn't exactly put me on the social map, but I can't blame my invisibility on snobbery. Some students did try to befriend me, but I politely avoided becoming friends with them. I didn't exactly want to have them over to our apartment after hanging out at their mansions, so I was always too busy to attend whatever gathering they invited me to.

I could have used my outsider status to become the cool rebel, to become interesting. Not having their wealth to fall back on, though, I can't afford to get in trouble. Going to this school is a privilege for me. It's a gateway to the bigger and better things I want. I'm not here to improve my social life but rather my entire future. It's an old story. I'm nobody, and I'm determined to be somebody. My drive to succeed requires me to spend lots of time studying. Unfortunately, I'm not one of those naturally brainy people. That would be Constance Bergin and Anthony Maniscalo. Connie and Tony are competing for the highest GPA and falling in love in the process. Not really as far as I can tell, but I enjoy the thought of our two class geniuses discovering a passion for each other as well as academic excellence. I'm an incurable romantic, and that is my curse.

It's the thing that could sway me from the path to economic independence if I'm not careful. So far, I have been content to merely observe the romantic entanglements of others. Having watched these people for the past three years, I know a lot about them. I had a few crushes during freshman year, but I got to know them fairly well without ever going out with them, and now I've lost interest in them. Except for Sebastian Sinclair. He remains an intriguing mystery to me as I begin my final year of high school. Fortunately, he has never shown the slightest interest in me.

Has he ever been interested in anyone? That's hard to tell. He picks one girl every year and pays more attention to her than he does to anyone else. I have watched this happen for the past three years, and I still don't know why. Is it just to fluster these girls and make them nervous in his presence? Maybe it's a long, drawn-out form of seduction. Does he eventually hook up with them? Is that why he always loses interest in them by the end of the year?

What does he do over the summer? Well, I know some of the things he does, like take the kind of vacations I can only dream about. None of my classmates have to spend their summers working like I do. I hear them talking about the fabulous trips they took to Europe and the Caribbean. I'd like to say that it motivates me and inspires me, but it actually just makes me jealous. Sebastian isn't as forthcoming on the details of his luxurious vacations as most of his friends. The guy is not one to brag, I'll give him that much.

I was enviously listening to the story of Britney Morgan's tropical adventure, which included a fling with a gorgeous guy from Sweden. Class was not yet in session, and the students were talking excitedly like they always did on the first day of school. I had staked out a spot at the back of the class like I always did so that I could observe the entire class. This classroom had tables that seated two students instead of individual desks like I preferred. I'd just have to be extra careful that my seatmate didn't see if I jotted down notes for my journal. Maybe the chair next to me would remain empty, and I'd have lots of privacy.

Sebastian walked into class, and I perked up. I hadn't yet discerned which girl he had chosen to focus on this year. It obviously wasn't Lisa Kelly, because he hadn't responded to the looks she had thrown his way. I'd noticed something odd. Amber Peterson, one of the most popular girls in our class, was sitting by herself. Sebastian glanced at her, and she pretended not to notice. I could tell that she did though, because there was nothing relaxed about the way she was sitting. Her body was rigid with anticipation, and she seemed to hold her breath as he walked toward the empty seat beside her. My vantage point at the back corner of the room allowed me to see both of their expressions. He then walked right past her with the barest hint of a smile that faded just as quickly as it had appeared. Sebastian proceeded down the row, which had no other empty seats, until he reached the back of the classroom and turned to walk from that corner to the one where I was seated.

He pulled out the empty chair and sat down beside me. "Hi, Jade. How was your summer?"

I immediately turned away from him and sat just as rigidly as Amber had. Only instead of pretending to ignore him, I was trying with all my might to block him out for real.

"I can see you, Jade," he informed me in a light, amused tone. "You're not invisible."

His eyes are a rare, shifting shade between blue and green. They are blue today, possibly visually enhanced for me because of the blue shirt he's wearing. I wish for my brown eyes to be obsidian and hide everything I'm feeling. How does he know that I imagine myself as invisible?

"Welcome to English Literature." The voice of the teacher draws my attention to the front of the classroom. "I'm Mrs. Montgomery. Before we begin, if anyone wants to switch seats do so now. Otherwise these will be your seats for the year."

One of Amber's friends moves to sit next to her, but nobody else changes seats. I almost get up to sit next to Constance, but she's at the very front of the class and I wouldn't be able to observe my fellow students from there. Yet I'll be stuck next to my semi-crush all year if I stay here. I worry my bottom lip with my teeth over this dilemma.

"Okay then," Mrs. Montgomery says. "Answer when I call your name, and I'll write it in my seating chart."

Since my last name starts with W, I'm the last person called. "Here," I answer, somewhat distracted by Amber and her friend whispering and turning to look at me.

"I'm glad you decided to stay here," Sebastian says.

He's got a raspy, smoky voice to go with his tousled waves of shoulder-length dirty blonde hair. All his rich guy friends have short, conservative haircuts, so Sebastian looks like a rebel among them.

I wonder why he's talking to me, and then something unbelievable dawns on me. Am I the girl he's chosen to focus on this year? I glance back at him and see that he's still watching me. Oh no!

Notes:

I wrote this awhile ago and had no intention of posting it, but I can't focus on any of my serious stories right now. I need something completely light and fun for the time being.