In her heart, she wished he would've been with her, but she knew it wasn't going to happen that way. She just knew.
It pained her to know that he was the only person that made her feel like she mattered. It pained her to know that she could never have him. It pained her to know that it would be impossible to fall out of love with him.
After all, he was everything she could ever hope for in a man…
He was… A girl's dream. He was her dream that became her reality.
Jose changed her world.
She remembered when she had first met him. When she did have a boyfriend at the time… Too bad he changed into an asshole.
Not Jose, her ex.
Her ex-boyfriend, Vince, happened to be her first and last boyfriend. He hurt her terribly and she fell into a deep depression. But then Jose came into her life around the same time Vince had left her.
She remembered that huge smile on his face when she had first met him.
"Hey," he smiled charmingly, staring at her as if she was the only girl in the world.
That is how she felt when she first met him.
Imogen wasn't really into Jose at the time. She was still stuck on Vince. Of course, he was her first heart break. But that didn't stop her from talking to Jose.
Jose obviously shown interest in her by their very first encounter. And also, he was insanely handsome. Imogen wasn't going to push him away. After all, Vince hurt her terribly so why can't she talk to another guy?
What she didn't expect was for Jose to have control over her feelings.
The feelings she first felt for him were just mild attraction—his smile, his tattoos, his gorgeous muscular-toned shape. He was the entire package that she wished for in a guy.
But there was a huge budge in between all of that. It had taken the both of them off guard.
Jose was disappointed that she was so young. And Imogen was disappointed that he was so old.
Imogen thought he was at least 18 years old because of his height; he was short for a man and very young looking in the face. But it caught her off guard when she found out he was 22 years old.
Jose desperately wanted to talk to Imogen, but her age kept getting in the way.
It wasn't until weeks later the two stopped caring about it and became rather close.
Vince soon had become a distant haze. Imogen had only focused on one guy in particular and that was Jose.
It was weird, though.
She became close with Jose over distance. She met him while on vacation in New York City, but she soon had to return back to her home to North Carolina.
Obviously, it wasn't going to work. So they just decided to talk, meaning friends but something more to it.
Jose talked to her a lot, mainly over phone calls.
He always made her feel comfortable whenever he talked to her. He had never even dared to make her feel uncomfortable in any way possible, compared to other guys she had talk'd to.
She tried to talk to other guys around the area where she lived, but they were all jerks.
They all wanted the same thing from her—sex. Each guy couln't talk to her without even bringing the topic up, which frustrated her completely.
But what had frustrated her more was that Jose stood out from them. He was nothing like that.
He speaks very maturely to her and all he does is make her feel special and comfortable. He never brought up that topic to her, ever.
But Imogen hated that he stood out. She hated that he kept being the guy she ends up thinking about in the night.
He lived way too far from her… And he was too old for her…
Imogen sobbed several nights over him. Her feelings for him were growing and growing and she had no way of stopping it. Nothing was stopping it, it just continued to grow.
Her heart kept feeling horrible because of all these feelings she had for him.
What pained her most was that he ended up meeting another girl after a while.
Her name was Rana. She had basically taken over his life,
That's how it looked from Imogen's point of view.
He kept posting pictures of her on instagram. Each caption he wrote underneath those photos were all painfully hitting Imogen's heart. She was confused because he kept talking about that girl like she was the girl of his dreams.
Did Imogen mean anything to him?
She felt like he forgot all about her and only focused on Rana.
Imogen cried and cried for several nights. Every picture she saw, every post or status he put that related to that girl tore at her heart like sharp claws.
There was one photo he posted that made her feel like that she should let him go.
It was a photo of him and Rana.
Their foreheads were touching and they were both smiling at each other with their eyes closed. He was wearing a black tuxedo and she wore a nice dress in the photo.
It looked like they got married…
Imogen couldn't take it. She decided to cut him off and put him on the shit list.
What else was there for her to do? Obviously Jose wanted to be with Rana and not her…
It was hard for Imogen to push him away because he kept on coming back to her.
He always made complaints about Rana and his relationship to her and Imogen honestly did not want to hear about it. What made her upset, however, is that he kept on ranting to her about his relationship, knowing how she feels about him.
It was so confusing. Jose was hard to figure out after all.
Imogen knew he wasn't loyal to his girlfriend though. Jose always had a soft spot for Imogen. At least that's how she felt.
Then there came the time when Imogen decided to go back to New York. She was looking forward to seeing Jose, but she wasn't trying to get her hopes up.
She found it funny how just two weeks ago, before she left to New York, he was single and really looking forward to spending a lot of time with her no matter what the circumstances would be.
Imogen wanted to be able to hold his hand, hug him, kiss him, and feel loved because that is how he made her feel.
But then as soon as she went to New York, he got back together with Rana.
And of course, Imogen was crushed.
She didn't want to see him at all.
She didn't want to see that asshole.
She called him everything in the book, but that still didn't stop her from loving him…
When she saw him again, the feeling she gained inside her chest was not anger, rage, or any horrible feeling—it was love.
It confused her because just a year ago, when she last saw him, she felt nothing but attraction. She was still in love with Vince and only thinking about Vince. Now a year later, seeing Jose again, a brand new feeling boiled inside her heart. Yes, it was indeed love.
Jose kept it real with her from the beginning. He told her the truth face to face about Rana. He didn't keep it a secret from her.
Imogen cried right in front of him and he knew it was his doing. Jose didn't know what to feel or say because one, he felt bad that he broke her heart and two, he felt bad because she was in love with him and he wasn't in love with her. It was just… Awkward to him.
It was just awkward.
But in the end, they remained as friends, and still Imogen hadn't known if Jose still had feelings for her.
The last time he had seen her, he had always somewhat flirted with her in a way.
He always had his face to close to hers at certain moments and Imogen wondered if he was going to kiss her. But he never did.
Did that thought pass through his head at the time? Because for Imogen it did.
Jose will always confuse her, but she knew, she just knew he would always be there for her no matter what.
Maybe one day they would be together.
Maybe one day she will have her chance with him.
And so, Imogen continued to have hope for that day to come.