The Honey Pot

Tim Tucker

It was on the morning of Valentines Day that Candy Sexton, aged sixty, awoke to a miraculous event.

She witnessed a soft, golden light two-thirds of the way down her bed, under the sheets. Through her haze of sleep she thought that she had somehow left her cell phone under the covers, but then, blinking, she realized...

It was her long lost friend, her passion purse, her spasm chasm.

Or just Gina, as her former employer one Mr. Hugh Hefner had once dubbed it some forty years ago.

And now here Gina was, vibrant, pulsing...alive!

She stared, and the more she gazed upon her fish mitten the more Gina blushed hidden away, a thing of beauty.

Candy bolted upright in bed, eyes wide, her breath like a fire in her lungs.

"Oh Gina are you really going to stay for good this time!?" She cried at her old illuminated friend.

A titillating tingle coursed between her thighs, making her shudder with pleasure. Gina was here to stay!

During her younger and more lustful years Candy Sexton was one of the most beloved Playboy Bunnies and was the obsession of many a man the world over. After years of parading (and selling) her ham wallet however, Candy had become jaded to the debutante lifestyle and wanted nothing more than to live out the rest of her days as a bachelorette.

But now the juices were once again flowing, the fire rekindled, and Gina was hungry, no, starving, for some beef truncheon!

Candy launched herself from her bed as spry as a hot blooded teenaged girl and rummaged through her address book in search of three phone numbers from her past. She dialed the three of them, barely able to contain her excitement over the phone.

"Bernard, guess what?"

"Aye Dios mio Tio, it's a milagro!"

"No Richard, you won't need any lube!"

"Hurry! Hurry! HURRY!"

She dropped the phone and raced into the shower where she hastily scrubbed herself with much vigor and body wash. She was afraid that Gina's miraculous return was just a cameo and by the time her lunch meat special arrived her little oasis would once again had become barren, the glow diminished, the guarded slot sealed forever, but Gina remained steadfast, all pink blushed from her vigorous scrubbing and as smooth as a baby's bottom.

After showering, powder, and make up Candy inspected herself in the mirror. Although Father Time had made her breast sag, traced fine lines across her face and gray streaks throughout her hair Candy Sexton was older but yet oh so much bolder and she knew for a fact that she still had the skills to make any mans toes curl in pure ecstasy. She threw on the skimpiest silk robe she could find and pranced about her manor, sipping chardonnay to encourage her precious Gina and when she heard the car doors slam outside she rushed to let in the three boys who were not quite men and who certainly weren't gentlemen.

The first to enter was a tall, lanky black man by the name of Bernard Byron Crenshaw, or just BBC as he was so affectionately known as. He was dressed as if he had just walked off of the set of a 1970's Blaxplotation film with a neon blue tweed jacket and matching bell bottoms and when he saw Candy he flashed her a smarmy grin, his front teeth as large as sugar cubes.

"Dayuuuuum," BBC crooned. "Even after all these years you still the sexiest lil' thing. Give daddy some suga'." They embraced, a peck on the cheek here, a peck on the cheek there, and his hand glided coolly across Candy's bottom.

Gina stirred.

A second man entered, a dark, roguish Mexican fellow named Tio Verga. His sun worn chiseled face was punctuated by a thickly bristled mustache and he must have been in an awful hurry to make it to Candy's house because all he wore was a poncho and sombrero.

"Como estas vieja?" He took Candy by the hand and placed a pillow soft kiss on the back of her palm. "It will be my pleasure to take you...south of the border."

He fixed her with his dark eyes and Gina throbbed with joy.

And last but certainly not least the third man, a wizened little Chinese man named Richard "Dick" Wang, gimped into the house looking like he was ready to have a banging good time in his leather chaps (assless) and dog collar.

"I hope you're ready for three inches of rock hard Wang!"

Candy Sexton smiled a great, devilish smile and knew that Gina carried the same countenance, albeit vertically across her hidden lips.

"So is it true?" BBC asked excitedly. "Is the Canyon of Love reopen for business?"

"That's right honey. Come, follow me boys."

The three suitors trailed single file behind her like obedient little ducklings as Candy led them to her grand bedroom. They rushed to collapse at the foot of the bed as she sprawled feline like across the sheets, and in their gawking eyes and pursed lips Candy could see the painfully obvious, a quality left unsaid but one which could not be ignored.

It was the realization that despite their ages, none of them had ever grown up. They were still the same boys who Candy had known all those years ago and through her lustful whirlwind of remembered lovers and drunken regrets these three boys remained frozen in time.

"Are you boys ready?" Candy teased, fingering the hem of her robe.

The Pussy Killers widened their eyes and leaned forward in great anticipation.

"Alright..." somewhere, an unseen drum roll was starting up, the lights in the theater that never was began to dim, and finally..."I hope you're all ready for Poontang Pie!"

She flung open her robe like a curator pulling the curtains on his most treasured exhibit. Warm, milky golden light radiated from between her thighs and spilled across the shocked faces of her boys. BBC licked his lips, Tio's mustache twitched, and Dick Wang gazed as if in a stupor, a thin thread of saliva hanging from his mouth.

They stared, and the little man in the canoe stared back at them, all wet and glistening, like a small pink flower plucked directly from the Garden of Eden.

"It's beautiful." Tio breathed.

The triple threat, the three wise men, the Holy Trinity leaned closer to gaze upon, to breath in the intoxicating womanly scent and to touch, as there was no "FOR DISPLAY PURPOSES ONLY" sign on her wizard's sleeve.

All was well until the trio bumped heads.

"Who, whoa, whoa player pimp juice!" BBC protested, "I was here first!"

"I've known her the longest, me and mamacita go back like wetbacks!" Tio protested.

"Oh yeah well I used to suck her toes!" Dick Wang piped in.

They glared at each other, the same look of predatory machismo Candy had seen in many men before and in an instant the three old boys reverted back into a collision of testosterone fueled adolescence.

Candy sat amidst the geriatric battle royal like a ship wrecked survivor surrounded by three frenzied sharks who all wanted a piece of her oyster ditch.

Tio's sombrero was smacked clean off of his head, Dick Wang throttled BBC with his Ben Wa Balls, BBC yanked at Tio's mustache and the now broken Three Musketeers thrashed, tumbled, and squabbled about and Candy saw as much as felt the light from her precious otter's pocket first flicker, then dim, then finally die out in an anticlimatic wet queef, her beloved Gina once more a ghost.

When at last the three man children had gassed themselves out they sat up to fix their hats, their clothes, their breathing, and their dignity.

"Well, since you boys are done playing with each other," Candy said, "I'm afraid that all this violence has upset my little Gina and she's gone away. She's a lover, not a fighter!"

Exasperated, the three stooges turned on their heels for the bedroom door.

"Will el cono return soon?" Tio asked hopefully. "We're not getting any younger!"

"Not in this lifetime Guapo." Candy said thoughtfully. "We'll make it a gang bang in the next though!"

"I'll hold you to that baby girl." BBC winked as they departed from her life for a second time.

Dick Wang scurried back into the room. "Sorry, I forgot my anal beads." He said before leaving the room again.

Candy waited for a long while, her head hung low. "So much for that beef truncheon." She sighed.

And then like the embers from a dying hearth, like the Phoenix from the ashes a faint but visible glow pulsed from between her legs.


For a moment she considered calling back the terrible trio but thought better of it, instead she reached beneath her pillow and brandished fourth her monstrous, mahogany colored electric cucumber, or the Wild Seabiscuit as she liked to call it. She flipped a switch on the bottom of the shaft and the beast roared to life with the force of a dozen stallions.

Giggling like some ditzy school girl from a time long past, Candy spread her legs wide and let herself be swept away by her trusty steed and under the milky warm glow she could almost breath in the scent of three ghost who hungered for the light.