Trigger warning: abuse.


It hurts and we do not leave, so

It must be love.

You sound like you are chewing metal

When you spit out my name

And your fingers are paper light across my palms

But I do not like to be touched;

Not by you

Or the way you won't look at me.

Why would you hold onto one

Who cannot swim?

We're drowning and it isn't my fault.

It isn't yours.

Your eyes take my breath away,

I do not remember their colour.

You aren't holding my hand with your clammy ones, you are

Guiding me into your labyrinth by the neck

Under a guise of finding paradise.

You do not care where you are

And I have never been here before.

We are lost and it isn't my fault.

It isn't yours.

It hurts and we have no one else, so

It must be love.

My flesh seared away like chips of wood

And I had no more tears to cry,

You told me that I couldn't feel it

And despite the agony, I believed you. I was

Smitten by another kind of pain-

The kind you let me pretend was a charade.

Your fingers left the same dents on my body that your father left on your soul and I thought

You were shaping me into something more beautiful.

We were damaged and it wasn't my fault.

It wasn't yours.

It hurts and you let me leave, so

It must be love.

A thousand beautiful words couldn't make your ugly heart stutter

And a stream of tears couldn't stem the flow of your red rage

And a saint's prayers couldn't make your bloody fists repent

And unconditional love couldn't soften your razor tongue.

And I could not save you.

We are no more and this isn't my path.

It's just yours.