Renew

by, Cassandra

You wanted broken. Lifeless. Fucked up and used up and nothing more. You wanted broke down and misused. Abused. You wanted shattered.

I used to want to be that, too.

I used to think that it was the only way. The only logical path to make you want me.

I used to.

Not anymore.

See, I realized that you only want the used and abused so you can fix them up and make them brand spanking new. But that's impossible, don't you know? Refurbished isn't new. You can patch it up, add a coat of paint, and sell it as new, but it's not. It never will be.

I don't want to be a lie.

I'm used. I'm worn out and worn down, but I've come to realize even the oldest things can still be useful. With a little proper tender love and care, even the oldest can be useful.

So I made a point to love myself.

To take care of myself, the way you never would have. To put in the time and the effort to be the best I can possible be... for what I am. And nothing less.

So, no. I'm not broken. I'm still functioning. Thriving. Living.

I'm still whole.

And you will not be the one to break me.