I have been standing in this one spot for almost half an hour already. And she. She has been taking photos of Big Ben at every single angle possible. I knew it was her first time here in London. Alright, fine. She was a tourist. But I still couldn't comprehend why she had to take millions of photos of the same thing. And. How she was able to do all sorts of body position just so she could take a "good shot".
The sun had finally set and the lights just started twinkling. Watching Bobby from afar, I couldn't help but smile. Her eyes twinkled as the lights did. Who would have thought something as simple like lights turning to life can be so beautiful?
Or really…is it the light that's beautiful?
I closed my eyes and took a deep breathe. I haven't been getting much sleep that my eyes were failing me. When I opened my eyes, they landed perfectly on Bobby's and for a second, I panicked. So I quickly dropped my head and stared at my feet.
Why in the bloody hell did I feel panicky anyway?
When I was sure she wasn't looking at me anymore, I walked over to the benches and sat.
I didn't know when it started. When Bobby suddenly was just part of my day. Maybe because she was my flat mate. Maybe because I had already gone accustomed to seeing her every single day. Maybe that's why. Simple as that. But I couldn't let that thing go on. I knew I liked Olivia as more than a friend before. And we were friends to start with. But Bobby, I couldn't say we were friends at all. And yet, I'm starting to feel something weird towards her. Something stronger than what I felt with Olivia. Still, I didn't know what was stopping me.
Maybe the simple fact that Bobby seemed too bright. And I didn't want to tamper that brightness with the dullness of my life.
We were supposed to go sight-seeing with Daniel and Chloe but somehow Bobby and I ended up going together. And I knew this was my own little way of being a good flat mate. I also knew that I had to try harder. Because as much as I didn't want to admit it to myself, this "attraction" I had been feeling towards her was making me extra mean.
After an entire eternity and millions of shots of the Big Ben, she finally came over. I checked on the time and thought it was still pretty early so we can ride the London Eye. After all, riding that massive Ferris Wheel is just one of the hundreds more of touristy things I think she was about to do.
I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable with Bobby walking behind me the entire time. I mean, why couldn't she walk beside me? Or in front of me if she were that uncomfortable about us walking beside each other.
Her walking behind me makes it impossible for me to look after her. She wasn't a child, no. Still, she was a woman. Who needs protection. And I couldn't deny the odd feeling of responsibility to protect her. Not now. Not anymore.
And so I stopped walking for once.
"You're not my tail, are you?" I asked, almost snappish which I didn't exactly intend to sound like, without glancing at her.
"What?" She responded.
I sighed and finally faced her. "You're not my tail so you don't have to keep following behind me."
Then I started walking again without waiting for a reply. I thought she finally understood what I meant but to no success. So I had to manually grab her hand and pull her beside me.
If you want things done, you better do it yourself.
Surprisingly, there wasn't much of a crowd lining up to ride the London Eye so we got in pretty fast without having to wait much. And we fortunately got a whole capsule to ourselves.
I thought it was great but I had a feeling something was off with Bobby. I mean, why wasn't she taking any photos?
She sat frozen on the seat in the center while I pretend to listen to music and stare at the city outside. Because as much as I wanted this time to just chill and stare at the view, I couldn't help but feel like something was wrong. Or maybe it was just the lack of sleep that was making me act odd. So I went on and planted my eyes on the view and think of: nothing.
Until I heard a loud thud behind me. I even felt the capsule shook a bit. I turned around and found Bobby on the floor. What the?
Shaking my head, I walked over to her. Completely weirded out by how the hell this happened, I just stared at her on the floor and asked, "need a help?"
"No thank you," she snapped at me.
Alright, maybe I should have just helped her up right then.
She scrambled to her feet and forced her body up. But to no success. She ended up falling again.
What the bleeding hell is wrong with this girl?
I grabbed her hands and helped her up. Her hands were freezing.
"Why are your hands cold?" I asked.
But she only looked at me blankly. I did the same and stared right back at her. And I knew right then something was wrong. With the way her eyes moved. Her body stiff. Her hands cold.
She snatched her hands off mine so quickly I thought they vanished in thin air and planted herself on the seat.
"Don't tell me…" I started, narrowing my eyes as I sat beside her.
"You're afraid of heights?" I asked, completely shocked.
When she didn't answer, I knew I was right.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked again.
"I didn't think it was something to tell!" She half shouted, half whispered.
My jaw dropped for a moment and I thought this girl really was something else. And I couldn't help but laugh.
Oh boy, it was good to laugh.
"You're seriously the most amusing creature I ever met," I said, still laughing.
Then she mumbled something I couldn't make out of. "Pardon?" I asked her.
"I mean it was weird that you thought I was like that," she replied.
It was actually weird that she didn't know she was different. Good different. And maybe the fact that she didn't knew she is was what was making it good.
"And why is that?" I pushed her for more.
"Well, we barely knew each other. How would you find me amusing?" She asked looking at me.
Her eyes were terrifyingly beautiful. Terrifying that I might not be able to take my eyes off of hers. A beautiful mix of blue and green that pops really well from the whiteness of her flawless face.
When I was at the brick of going mad, I had to divert the situation and thought of something else.
"Do you think I'm attractive?" I asked.
Great. Just great choice of words. Note the sarcasm.
"What?" She sounded like she couldn't believe what I just asked.
So I raised a brow, as if repeating my question.
"What is it to you if I tell you my opinion of your attractiveness?" She asked, narrowing her eyes at me.
"It's nothing to me. I already knew the answer," I smirked. "What I'm saying is I didn't have to know you well to find you amusing. All I have to do is watch you panic whenever I catch you staring at me or sprint your way across the flat to the bathroom so I wouldn't see you in the morning," I explained. And I wasn't exaggerating anything.
She did constantly stare at me and I just happen to catch her a lot of times.
When she was done looking like she had just seen a ghost, after finding out that I do see her run in the morning, she finally spoke again, "And is me being amusing a bad thing or a good thing?"
I laughed again. This girl really do know how to ask the right funny questions.
"You're a breath of fresh air," I said, looking outside.
"Why?" She asked. I didn't expect her to ask.
"What why?" I looked at her this time
"A breathe…of..fresh air," she stammered
I frowned when she had difficulty spilling the words out then I looked out again. "You seem so free." I whispered.
Her sense of freedom reflects on her whole personality. The way she smiles. The was she speaks. The way she even takes photos.
This time, I expected her to ask why again. But instead, I heard nothing. So I looked at her. Her face was a mix of confusion and disbelief.
"And what's with that face?" I asked.
"Trust me, I've never felt free for a long time," she sort of laughed while shaking her head.
"You're thousands of miles away from home and you have a complete set of new friends. How is that not freedom?"
"Elliot, freedom is not about where you are or who you're with. It's all in the heart," she replied.
Something sparked within me when she said those words. Freedom is in the heart. I never thought of such. But thinking about music, my passion, I realized maybe she really was right. Because I have never felt so much freedom while playing music than anything else. Maybe I, too, was free. I just wasn't seeing it. Music was my freedom.
Freedom is in the heart. I repeated in my head. The faintest of smile touched my lips at the thought of it. What is it with this Bobby and her head? Her beautiful mind.
I was so absorbed in my own thoughts when the capsule suddenly stopped moving mid-air.
"Why did we stop?" Bobby whispered.
"Maybe something just came up. We'll start moving again eventually," I told her. "And you know, you didn't actually have to whisper," I added, trying my best not to laugh.
She just rolled her eyes. Which I was already so used to.
"Elliot, we're still not moving," she whispered again after for what felt like a couple of minutes or so.
I didn't know how serious her fear of heights was but then her hands started shaking. Without thinking twice, I grabbed her hand next to mine and put both our hands inside my jacket's pocket.
Her skin was soft, her fingers delicate, her hand…still cold. It felt like holding a flower that was about to die in the winter.
When I got the feeling she was going to hesitate, I spoke up.
"Would you believe me if I told you I was afraid of heights and that I needed you to hold my hand so I won't be scared?" I looked at her straight in the eyes.
She crossed her eyebrows and scoffed. "No."
"Good. Because I'm not," I replied and looked away.
"Ack-." She was going to say something more but I cut her off.
"You don't have to act strong. I know you're scared so let me hold your hand," I said firmly. No emotions. Just dedication.
Keeping her hand warm inside my pocket, I decided to protect this flower from dying.
Sorry for the lack of update! But there's another one! Writing Elliot has been really tough!
I hope you guys enjoy getting inside his head!
Don't be a stranger! I'd love to hear from you guys. As always.
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