Hello, many of you know me as Lord Vincent Telenceraw, or vinny for people I like. You may not call me that, but in other news this is my guide to be a better dark lord. Now for all of my fellow inspiring dark lords out there, I am here to offer you advice on all subjects how to properly oppress the peasants to proper torturing etiquette.
No of course, we shall get through the first and most obvious piece of advice. Should you aspire to being a dark overlord. The answer is simple, no, you should not. I am this world's master and frankly, none of you are my equal. I would rather not have to wipe you off my shoes, as they are very nice shoes. If you though prefer shoe based death or merely wish to rule over a small town in my stead then this notes shall help you achieve this goal.
One of the most important things to being in Overlord is you must have your motivations. Now we all want to rule the world or destroy it. It is always best to start out with some minor goals; burn down the puppy orphanage, terrorize small children, most annoying and passive aggressive notes on the town message board, and etc. Think of this as marking one's territory. It also allows users cover what kind of Dark Lord that you are going to be and what your future goal shall be! We shall be going into the types of dark Lords and their differences in a later chapter, but for now we shall put the matter on hold.
Now everyone, your starting goals are all going to be different and this is okay, some of you are pathetic. Well most of you are. This is okay, many poncy men and women have eventually raised to become heroes and villains. You must understand, not all of you are born with power and some are just born as superior men. If you have the power to extort money from others easily than do that. If you are a sad little urchin, then practice stealing from rotund people at your local tavern.
The best way to do this is learn your skills and abilities. Most think you can divide a man by strength, constitution, dexterity, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma... while you can, it personally sounds rather silly. I mean really how sad must you be to have charisma as a skill, when it is something you have or you don't.
Now no matter your goals, I do not recommend becoming politicians though. Whether you are a Dark Lord or you wish to become one, there is a low for which we must not stoop. Even our kind must have some manner of moral standing, lest we be so evil that we create those who wish to destroy us. Let your most depraved of minions take these positions as they are replaceable.
It is only then that we move on to more substantial endeavors, this is when you begin to establish your power base. I would recommend gathering allies, those who are strong enough to help you in your goals, but weak enough that you know that they can be destroyed easily by you. This of course serves two different purposes; it allows you to have those minions who will not betray you and it will allow you to easily kill them to make examples or for fun.
Now one must make sure all of these help you towards your ultimate goal. It does not matter whether this goal is to rule the nation, release an ancient star "god", or simply exterminate those fat little halfing shites. You must make sure most of your minor goals work to this goal. It is why I often advice taking the long way to most goals.
For example, you might have the power to destroy an entire nation, but it will make establishing your own much hard. Being an evil ruler is much more than guillotines, torture, and slave harems. You must set up effective slave labor systems along with training effective dark armies. Too many dark Lords have failed because they have not done the most basic of work.
But now that that is established we shall get into one of the other most important factors of being a dark ruler. Fashion or what your evil wardrobe says about you and ways to fix this or establish your style and brand name.
I just was bored and looked to try to get some writing done. I looked up writing exercises and decided to try some on vinny to help me write/ get me back into writing.
Check out my more serious works though like Trials of the Witch Hunter
7/4/2014 Happy Fourth of July, my fellow Americans