The following article is printed with permission of the International Alchemical Organization:
"Safe handling of hazardous materials: POETRY"
bard, t. w.,
This materials safety sheet is related to:
POETRY (I can't stand it)
C.A.S. number 64-17-5
Known Dangers of POETRY
POETRY is highly flammable,
containing words that are
known carcinogens—Class 3 & 4 (you fucker, you and)
POETRY can be found in unlikely places, such as
conversations, and dissolved in (your drinking) water
and other solvents. When working with POETRY
(sometimes) exercise caution to avoid using words
that carry one meaning (i wish
my words didn't hurt)
or more (and they weren't fluid).
POETRY has been suspected of eroding
memories, is a known lachrymator, and is implicated
in the death of romance (Purfrock, J. A.; Jun 1915)
innocence (Caufield, H.; Jul 1951)
rhythm (Fective, D.; Oct 2010)
and inspiration (bard, t. w.; Aug 2011).
Many kinds of POETRY exist (like haikus); it is important to
dilute your words heavily before using them with
POETRY—consult relevant literature if the use
of POETRY is deemed necessary (and maybe then I could
speak). Do not use (my words without) POETRY—
(knowing I will be
cited in a third-tier journal) for any reason—
(as the leading cause of heartbreak)
unless you are confident that all
proper safety measures have been taken.
Proper disposal of POETRY
When finished with POETRY (by people like me
for people like you), incinerate immediately.
More information on POETRY
POETRY is available for purchase
in our online catalog.
Journal of Irregular Chemistry, 213, 21, p.11-12, 2014.