Christian tried to find a church one day, and went where all roads lead.
Use imagination, listeners, if you hear and feel the need
To identify the place I've got in mind to set this yarn,
Where the horse of false theology has bolted from the barn.
When he reached a parish, and requested how he'd be the least
In the kingdom, he was told to pay some penance to a priest.
But the price for sins was paid with Jesus' wounds on hands and hips.
Were these priests now heaven's waiters reaching out for extra tips?
Jesus' earthly mother, knowing nothing, sleeping in the ground,
Was misused in someone's made up role of human board to sound
All unloaded piles of sin from every hidden booth confessor;
Since those roads have led to folks miscasting her as intercessor.
Mary never had such things in mind, and would have found them crass,
Like another faulty sacrament called Eucharist High Mass,
As if this would open Heaven's door, poor Christian then surmised;
And he wondered why, unbiblically, small babies were baptized.
As he studied every fallacy he had the chance to hear
How they'd never let the scriptures can a lucrative idea.
They compounded these wrong practices with works replacing grace.
Undervaluing atonement, they misled the human race.
Not a man to throw the tow'l in, Christian chose to shop around.
But, exploring other brands of church, he very quickly found,
That eternal torment, and predestination of elect
Were a sample of the heresies he'd need to just reject.
In one place, there was a mandate that the couples must have kids.
So how many then? Does every spouse then have to make their bids?
As he crossed the globe, in search of truth, more churches were explored.
Christian wondered how the Bible was so frequently ignored.
He saw gospels of prosperity, which openly denied
That we don't chase earthly riches; and his eyes were opened wide
To the subtleties of misdirection creeping through the fold.
He sought refuge in the Bible, lest the Devil's lies take hold.
But beyond this tale of flippancy, Galatians Chapter 1
Warned them not to point to anything but Jesus Christ the Son,
As the means to face the judgment. If an angel spoke to them
Of a gospel other than that the real one, God would then condemn.
2nd Peter Chapter 2 says we should know them by their fruit.
They deny the sovereign Lord and bring the truth to disrepute.
1st John talks about the antichrist, who seeks to make us nod
In agreement with whatever takes our focus far from God.
Paul's 1st Timothy lists qualities of leaders in the church.
Christian felt he had to see these in his lengthy global search,
Not relying on an earthly man, but testing what gets taught,
As the Lord's and Satan's battle for each precious soul is fought.