when she signed up for rebellion, she did not
sign up for death
( or maybe she did, because there is no price
not worth paying for the taste of adventure )

when she signed up for adventure, she did not
sign up for love
( because love, as all things tend to do,
ends and she'd be damned if she's immobilised by heartbreak )

when she signed up for heartbreak, she did not
sign up for mental incarceration
( a dank prison cell in her brain that she fled to
right after he disappeared, taking her salary and her remaining shreds of dignity )

when she signed up for the loss of her dignity, she did not
sign up for suicide
( the tipping point, some said, came when one loved
too much and lost far too much for them to bear, leading to death )

when she signed up for a suicide mission, she did not
sign up for self reflection
( and then it happens, she internally sighed, her common
sense came back when she was on the brink of death for treason against the king )

when she signed up for everything, she did not
sign up for unimaginable pain and then-