Hey guys, this is a random story that was created by me and my friends during a WhatsApp group discussion. I decided to upload it on because why not? There are multiple "writers" writing different stories and I will list out who did which chapter. Anyway…shouldn't you be reading the story already? Have a good read! (and a good laugh!)
Joseph's weird adventure
Chapter 1: Who ever heard of sofas attacking people? (by me)
Once upon a time, Joseph's sofa came to life and attacked him. "Goddammit Joe!" he exclaimed as he remembered that Joe cursed his sofa to attack him earlier that day for no apparent reason
The sofa was eating up Joseph's homework. Joseph screamed in agony. "Damn you sofa!You must die!" shouted a angry Joseph. Joseph then took his imaginary sword and began attacking the sofa.
Since the sword was imaginary, it obviously did not work. The sofa then began eating Joseph. "Well, I guess this is the end. Better accept my fate" sobbed Joseph.
Then, he remembered that he actually had a real sword in his pocket. "I am dumb" said Joseph as he sliced the sofa into half using his sword. He then proceeded to overkill the sofa and retrieve his homework.
"Well, this has been a weird day" said Joseph as a giant flying fish appeared and captured Joseph. The weirdness was just beginning.
Chapter 2: Inside the belly (by Nekomeowthing)
In the belly of the fish... where am I?" Joseph thought. In the darkness of the fish belly, he cried out: "if only I had some light..." "Here u go" "thanks…wait AHHHH!" The light revealed the face of a triangle faced man with a single eye.
"Join us! We know your strength. You defeated the sofa monster we planted in your house. You will become a valuable asset to the..." before that man could say anymore. Joseph was so shocked. He had thrown the torch into a pile of explosives conveniently placed nearby. It exploded and joseph flew out of the flying fish over an unknown land... "Here we go again..."
Chapter 3: The random Island (by AAA)
He landed on an unknown island. "Where am I?" He looked around. "You shall be our meal!" Joseph turned around to see a man wielding an um…teddy bear for a weapon? "Dayum sonny," Joseph murmured. "You will die!" said the man.
The man then began to charge towards Joseph. Before he could stab Joseph with his teddy bear, Joseph yelled "Look! Behind you, it's a yellow coloured bird! um….legend says that yellow coloured birds eat random people wielding a teddy bear for a weapon."
"Whaaa?" The man was confused. Joseph took that chance to snatch the teddy bear from the man and threw it at a button conveniently placed nearby. The teddy bear hit the button and soon, both people heard a rumble.
"BOOM!KABLAM!" The island has exploded. Joseph was sent flying out of the island as the island blew up. "Deja vu?" Joseph cursed as he went flying high into the sky, up into the stratosphere...
Chapter 4: Fishes that talk (by me)
Joseph flew so high that he was in outer space. "Wait...don't I need oxygen to breath?" Joseph realised as he was choking to death. Just then, the same giant flying fish that swallowed Joseph swooped down, captured Joseph and dived into the earth at an incredible speed
"I am Xiao Ming, the flying fish. I was sent to kill you!Now die!" said Xiao Ming as he dropped Joseph into the Fish-lantic Ocean. "What the..." Joseph did not have time to react and was soon drowning in the Fish-lantic Ocean.
-A few hours later-
"Omg, he woke up" said a mysterious voice; "I thought he was dead" said another mysterious voice. Joseph opened his eyes. "What the hell, more talking fish?" exclaimed Joseph as he realised that the mysterious voices were in reality talking fish in real life. TALKING, FREAKIN FISH.
Joseph then began to panic and was running in circles. "Chillax bro, have you not seen a talking fish before?" One of the talking fish said. "Nope." replied Joseph. "We have not seen a talking human either. BTW, my name is fishy and that guy is fin" Fishy said as he pointed at fin.
"That's a great introduction and all, but I would like to ask a question. Where the hell am I?" Joseph exclaimed. "Well, to start off, we found your "dead body" on the coast of Fish-lantis beach a while ago. We brought you to an underwater cavern and was going to vivisect you. But you woke up. So yeah...can you still vivisect you?" Fishy explained.
"Oh hell no" Joseph replied. "BTW, how did you get here?" Fin asked. "A talking giant flying fish by the name of Xiao Ming dropped him here" Joseph explained. "OMG! You met Xiao Ming! You are the chosen one as foretold by the prophecy!" Said Fishy said he conjured up a portal "What the..." Joseph did not have time to react before he was pushed into the portal by Fin.
"Here, take this, you are going to need it" said Fishy as he threw a highly enhanced sword, a magic staff and a few potions into the portal. Somehow, Joseph managed to catch them and fit them all into his bag (which he had all this time). "Remember! look for the prophecy house! You will find me there!" shouted Fishy "Wait, can't you take me with you?" Joseph shouted back.
"Nope, too late." replied fishy as the opening of the portal started to close. "*sighs* here we go again" lamented Joseph as the portal took him into a mysterious world...
Chapter five: Fight with the Illuminati (by me)
"Where the hell am I?" Joseph asked. A few minutes ago, some random fish guy by the name of "fishy" pushed Joseph into a portal, claiming that Joseph was the chosen one. Now, Joseph was lost and severely confused. "Man, I sure wished that Fishy had given me a map" thought Joseph "And, what is this prophecy thing? Am I the chosen one?" Just then, ten triangle faced guys appeared out of nowhere.
"Joseph...join us, with your power, the organisation will become even stronger!" said one of the triangle faced guys. He was obviously the leader as he stood out from the rest. He wore golden clothing with orange stripes and had a sword for a weapon in contrary to the blue clothing with white stripes and had sticks for weapons.
"It's you!" Joseph exclaimed as he remembered something. The leader was the same person that he had met in Xiao Ming's stomach. "You are the chosen one, aren't you? Join us and you shall conquer the world!" The leader offered.
Joseph was at a lost what to do. He did not think that things would get this weird. "I acce..." Joseph was about to say something when suddenly, he heard a mysterious voice. "Don't...raise your sword and fight...chosen one..." The voice seemed to be coming from his head.
Joseph instinctively took his sword from his bag and got into battle ready position. "It seems we have a defiant chosen one here." said the leader as he ordered his underlings to attack Joseph. Joseph did not do anything. Somehow, he found himself obeying the mysterious voice's order with no qualms at all.
Four of the triangle faced guys appeared in front of Joseph. For a moment there, Joseph thought he was doomed. "Spin..." said the mysterious voice. Joseph began to spin. Soon, he was spinning so fast that he had created a tornado...a sword tornado. The four triangle faced guys got sucked by the tornado and got destroyed by Joseph's sword.
Joseph then charged towards another triangle faced guy, instantly killing him. "Triangle blast!" Yelled one of the triangle faced guys as three other triangle faced guys jumped into the air, forming the sides of a triangle. The triangle faced guy then jumped into the centre of the triangle, causing energy to from around his feet.
"Block..." the voice said as the triangle faced guy was about to hit Joseph with his attack. Joseph immediately blocked with his sword. It nullified the attack and pushed the triangle faced guys backwards.
"This sword is HIGHLY enhanced" mumbled Joseph as he did a "sword tornado" again, defeating the four triangle faced guys that had just attacked him. "I see you are quite strong. Looks like I will have to personally deal with you myself" The leader said as he readied himself in battle position. Joseph was in for a tough fight.
Boss Fight: Joseph vs triangle faced leader.
Joseph charged forward with the sword, and struck the leader a few times. "Nice skills you have there, boy" said the leader as he coughed up blood. "But can you deal with this?" said the leader as his sword glowed with orange aura.
The leader appeared in front of Joseph into a blink of an eye and struck Joseph with his sword. Joseph cried out in agony. He felt excruciating pain. The leader continued to strike Joseph. Joseph performed the sword tornado and pushed back the leader.
Without giving the leader any time to react, Joseph performed another "sword tornado" and injured the leader severely.
"I did not think you were that strong...looks like I have to use my finisher!" Said the leader as orange aura engulfed his sword. "Take this!" Shouted the leader as he raised his sword, preparing to slash Joseph.
Joseph somehow managed to block the attack with his sword.
His sword would not hold for long. It would be only a matter of time before…"Crimson impact..." the voice said as Joseph's sword was engulfed in crimson aura. Joseph knew what he had to do. He began to fight back.
Now, it was not the leader, who had the upper end, instead, it was Joseph. The leader's sword began to crack. "What...this can't be...I will not be defeated!" the leader shouted as he struck Joseph's sword with all his might.
It was no use. Joseph pushed with all the power he had in his body.
"Crimson impact!" exclaimed Joseph as he attack broke through the leader's sword and connected his attack.
The leader fell.
"I...shall not be defeated...the Illumina…Argghhh" the leader exploded in dust.
Joseph fell down too. He was simply too tired from that fight. He began to close his eyes and sleep...When Joseph woke up, he found himself in a very strange place...
Chapter six: The prophecy place (by me)
"Welcome to my prophecy place, please make yourself at home" The Prophet said. Joseph did just that. When Joseph woke up, he found himself in the Prophet's house where the Prophet told him about the prophecy and all that. "So I am supposed to destroy the Illuminati?" said Joseph as he drank a can of coke.
"As the prophecy says "the one who shall defeat a sofa monster and meet Xiao Ming shall destroy the illuminati" that is why the Illuminati wants you so badly. They want to prove the prophecy wrong" the prophet explained. "This is why the "Prophecy guardians" will protect you."
"But you are the only guardian, so shouldn't it be the prophecy guardian..." "Nope, you got it all wrong Joseph, there are actually TWO guardians so yeah..."
"You mean the talking fish..." "Shutup will you, creating a club is not easy you know." The prophet was getting slightly annoyed now.
"Let me guess, you are going to send me of on a random adventure" moaned Joseph. "Yup" replied the Prophet. The Prophet told Joseph all about his mission and then conjured up a shoebox. (The Prophet was too lazy to conjure up a portal and thus conjured up a shoebox portal)
"One question, before I leave" asked Joseph. "What is it, chosen one" the Prophet replied. "I heard this mysterious voice during my fight with the leader. What is it?" asked Joseph. "Your battle instinct. It only awakens when a person is strong enough or just lucky.
Your battle instinct will certainly help you in times of need. Well, enough talk, off you go then" said the prophet as he stuffed Joseph into the shoebox. "This has to be the lamest transport ever" complained Joseph as he teleported to his destination. His mission was about to begin.
"Where the hell am I? And who are you people?" asked Joe. "We are the Illuminati..."
You must be wondering by now, why the hell would the writer and his friends write a random story together. The answer is simple really: For fun. Hope you enjoy the randomness of this "volume" because it is going to be more random….