Endless cycle

I feel like crying

I can barely walk around without holding up my barriers

Like an empty carrier I hold nothingness

No more shots left to fire

I'm in dire need of a helping hand to take my mind away from troubled thoughts

This constant restlessness

Fidgeting

Fearing the unknown

My mind wanders down below where I don't want to go

12 Years of a steadfast structure is lost

Replaced by doubt

My two pillars of strength, weary and cracked, turned on each other

Some of the hurt mine to blame

Will it always be this way?

An endless cycle of problems and frustrations

I feel like crying

My goals and ambitions vague and sketchy to describe

I should decide

But I never can for fear of making the wrong choice again

I just want to leave it all

I always try my best - but just end up behind

Tired is what I am

Where am I going?

What am I doing?

What is this all for?

I implore- just make it stop