I woke up four times, the morphine making me sluggish and numb. The first time was a hallucination, my father standing beside the bed with a gun. I fell asleep wishing he would just pull the trigger. Darkness chased away his loathing gaze. The second found me being held down as I sobbed hysterically for my babies, calling out to not take them away. I was a mess in my third one, rolling about and muttering about the cudgel I remembered my father wielding whenever he felt like really battering me. The last time I woke up, I was being cleaned up with a lukewarm cloth wiping away sweat from my brow.
A woman around my age was frowning down to the yellowing remnants of abuse that showed along my shoulders and arms.
"Anne…" I found myself muttering. "Marie," I forced out.
The gentle administrations stopped. "Who?"
My face turned away, leaving me to roll away so that my back was to this new person.
"My name is Leah," She introduced, touching my bare shoulder. "My Dad asked me to clean you up and make sure you were doing okay."
I remained silent, my eyes despondent on the wall opposite me. "Is your wrist better?"
I didn't move to answer. "The swelling seems to have gone down a little bit, huh?"
Still nothing. She made a number of attempts to get me to talk, but I was empty again, eyes boring into the wall but not really seeing it. I didn't even hear her leave, my expression still unchanging until the bright light from the sun turned to night and back again. It was in the morning sometime when I felt something. Something licked my cheek. A tail beat against the blankets and I was woken up from my trance.
"Roof!" It barked in my face, paws touching my arm as though begging me to pet it. I couldn't. Tears were building up in my eyes and began to roll down my cheeks. The dog was quick to respond, sinking to its belly and licking my cheek, trying to wipe away the rouge tears.
"Y—You're a good boy, aren't you?" I asked it, feeling it wag its tail again at the sound of my voice.
It sniffed my wrist bound in the cast, then my nose, looking to lick me again. "No," I murmured. "I'm fine."
The canine didn't seem to believe me and kept sniffing, as though waiting for me to scratch it behind its ears. I obliged, but not for long. I was feeling bone-tired, the administrations getting more sluggish and difficult to keep up. I found myself falling asleep, the dog whining as he padded around to lie on my feet over the blankets.
He looked no older than a pup, and yet he was doing this! I fell asleep with a small smile lifting my lips and slept for what felt like days.
A bowl and damp cloth were beside my head when I woke up, a little note beside it.
'Rolo means well. You can use this to clean your face and then you'll find the bathroom door is open for you. You can use it whenever you want, but please ring to ask for clothes. We were afraid Rolo would begin to chew them.'
It wasn't signed, and I turned my head, finding Rolo was still at my feet, snoring away. I was quick to wipe away any slobber with my only working hand, giggling as his tail swept over my leg. He pricked his ears up at the sound and woofed loudly then, yawning widely. "How am I supposed to get up?" I asked him.
He whined, sensing the distress in my voice. He jumped from the bed, as tall as the mattress' height itself. He was a cross with something, that much I was sure of. Maybe a Labrador and Rottweiler. His gleaming black coat told me he was very healthy and he disappeared around a corner, a robe in his teeth the next moment.
"Thank you!" I gasped as he set it down beside my arm, nudging the limb with his nose. "I wish I had some treats for you, but…"
He let out a happy yip, jumping off the bed to walk over to a food bowl, eating after a job well done. "Looks like I don't need them," I muttered and sat up, dragging the blanket with me. The silver robe was three times my size and I slipped my good arm through the long silk sleeve, careful with the splinted left wrist. My legs wobbled, from misuse rather than any problem, and I forced my feet to the ground, then bunched up my muscles and was up. I was careful to tie the robe securely around me, the material reaching the ground and trailing a little behind me. I was a little chubby sure, and around 5"9, but this was for a giant!
I stumbled, using my good hand to clutch at the doorhandle of the 'bathroom', peering inside. Rolo was by my side then, butting his head against the wall. A light? I flicked the switch and blue lights burned into life, patterns of seashells and realistic sea animals all around the walls. It was beautiful, and I was drooling over the amazing bathtub. It was a huge circle, like a rock pool, and I fell down to peer into it. I could stand and the water would just reach my chin in the shallowest part. Little sanded tiles of blue were decorating the bottom, and I giggled in amazement.
"It's perfect!" I whispered in awe. "How can anyone want to leave this place?"
Rolo chose that moment to bark in agreement and I teetered, but kept my place. "You're right!" I croaked to him, as though he'd said something. "Do you think it would be alright to go in?"
The dog was sniffling around, giving me time to look around at the rest of the place. A sink, wide and sandy white was across from the pool in the far corner, a floor-length mirror leading over to it. A shower was situated at the very end of the pool, just off to the side from it. I was sorely tempted to just turn on the water and sink to the bottom. If I died in here, it would be a perfect way to go, but this place wasn't mine, and it wasn't a right of mine. I couldn't insult them like that. I'd clean myself up and leave, then find another way before my father no doubt caught up with me.
"Yoo hoo!" Someone called from outside in the room, Rolo bounding back in to sit at my side.
"Hello, dear," The woman greeted me, her chubby cheeks and sweet smile made me think of my mother, but I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind. I couldn't answer her, finding my voice came so easily when talking to Rolo but I was stunted when it came to humans. How sad.
"I'm Nancy, Leah's mother. She says you were going to bathe?"
I just nodded and the woman patted my head, earning a flinch from me. It just came out and she pouted. "Rest assured, Rolo would not let me in if I were meaning to harm you, and nobody here wants to," Nancy told me.
"Rolo isn't my dog though…" I found myself saying, but the dog whined and his nose went under my right hand, begging to be petted. I complied, and Nancy smiled.
"I brought some clothes that will fit you, I think," She set them down on the closed toilet seat and fixed an admonishing stare on Rolo. "I think it's time to give your mistress some time to clean up, young man."
The dog whined, but still retreated from the room, peeking back in once more before the door was shut. Nancy came back into the room and regarded the bathroom. "Would you like a bath or shower?"
"Bath?" I squeaked and the woman went about turning on the water, scenting the water with salts, and then taking out some different shampoos from her apron. "What kind do you use for your hair?"
I swallowed harshly, the raspy voice of mine still affected by my swim days ago. "Herbal Essence?"
The woman stored the shampoos back in her apron, leaving out the orange bottle of my shampoo. "Test the water, child," She told me, sifting through her other pockets and coming up with a plastic bag and medical tape.
I did, feeling the lukewarm temperature making me want to just sink in there and enjoy the rose scented water. "Here," The woman told me, holding the plastic out for me. I understood after a long moment and slipped my arm through it, my left arm being sealed from the water it would be coming in contact with. "Now, you can either have me help you with your bathing, or I could get Leah in here."
"Uh… No! Um, could you…"
She smiled, patting my head and helping me to stand once more. "Then we'd better get you into the water where it'll do you some good."
I let her usher me over to the steps that had little stones fashioned into each place for a foot, like prints. The robe was carefully slipped from my form and the woman tutted. "You must have had such trouble in your life," She murmured and guided me down the steps with her hands on my arm.
"Not all of it was bad," I murmured.
"Ah, yes," She replied, tipping a bucket of the water over my head. "Children bring such joy to your life, don't they?"
"And sorrow," I whispered and felt her buckets of water cease.
"I'm terribly sorry for all that happened to you; I know what it feels like to lose one's children. Leah's two older brothers… Let's just say the men who did it were caught."
I felt tears mix in with the water and shut my eyes, letting my body just float there for a moment. I was submerged up to my neck in the water and swallowed heavily. "Does time help you?"
"A little by little," Nancy confided. "You are young; it will get easier as you grow."
"It's only gotten worse this past year," I retorted in a soft voice, pain inflected in each word. "What I would give to have my girls back…"
"Talking, no matter how much you may protest, helps," Nancy murmured and gestured for me to swim closer. I sat as she began to pour shampoo over my head. "Would you like to talk to me about it?"
I shook my head, water dribbling down my shoulders and joining the rest. "Hmm, as I said, time heals most wounds. Not completely, but just so that you can keep on living."
"How long did it take you to stop feeling this empty?" I asked, eyes closing as sobs were building.
"I never stopped," Nancy told me. "But I found a way to turn all my misery and mourning into joy. My boys wouldn't want me to waste away, and I have Leah and my husband to look after!"
I wanted to open my mouth and tell her, talk as I ought, but the words stuck in my throat and she was busy cleaning the shampoo bubbles from my head. I was too weak to do anything by myself, but I still had to ask. "When am I getting out of here?"
"As soon as you're healthy and on the mend again," Nancy replied without missing a beat. "In the time being, I think Rolo will be your constant companion, and my daughter and I would be more than happy to take you out to shop for the house."
"Where am I?"
"By the ocean," She answered coyly, but I was already eased. If I was near the ocean, then that was fine. I could swim well, if my wrist were not broken. Then again, I'd never tried one-handed. "We have our own private beach if you would like to go down and see it sometime."
"But… Won't I be bothering you and your family? I should leave as soon as possible."
"No, it is not our place. If Mr Angelo allows you to stay, then you can! He was the one to bring you back, after all."
"Mr Angelo?"
"You are in his older brother's tub," She told me and I flushed, ready to get out, but she assured me through hushing. "Master Gabriel is out of the country at the moment, and will be for the next few months. It was also the safest place for you in the time being."
"But this is his room!" I tried to protest, but Nancy dunked a large bucket of water of my head.
"As Mr Angelo is sharing his sleeping quarters with Mr Andre, and the other rooms are being occupied, this was the only place that could be a comfortable accommodation for you."
"I slept on a thin mattress on wooden floorboards because Dad decided to tear up the carpet for another room! I can deal with the floor," I stated. "I could even sleep out in a tent if you have one."
"A lady deserves to be treated properly," Nancy grumbled. "You are entitled to the best hospitality we can offer."
"No, I'm not."
"No more nonsense like that from you, child. As soon as you are cleaned up and fresh, we'll take you down to have a proper meal."
"But…"
"No, no buts!" She admonished. "I see you as a child of mine, and I will treat you as such. You will listen to me, and let me look after you. It seems you are in dire need to be taken care of."
I couldn't argue, any opposition I may have had disappearing. I had always wanted a mother, my own having died drowning in the ocean on a trip she'd taken me on. She had said she would be a moment, but it had been hours… I opened my eyes, realising I was safe, in someone else's bathtub. The pampering went on, until I was deemed clean enough and she held out a towel and turned her head away so that I could drag myself from the water and let myself be engulfed by the huge thing. She towelled down my long blonde hair, humming as she did so. "You have such lovely hair, I think my daughter will be taking to that colour and dying hers next."
"I dyed my hair to get rid of this once," I could only say.
"Oh, but I've never seen such wonderfully honey blonde hair!" Nancy exclaimed.
I found myself becoming a beetroot red and she shuffled over to bring me back my cleaned undergarments but… "Where are my jeans?"
"Oh, we had to leave them in a little longer to wash. There was grease on them from the boys' bikes and so I just borrowed a dress or two from my daughter."
I had shaven my legs not long ago, and they were still clear of hair, but I didn't want to wear a dress. It was shorts I really had problems with, since the night I'd been… I shook my head. "Um, thank you. I'll get changed."
"Come into the room if you're dry and you can use the screen!" She said, leading me out and into the room, soft carpet under my feet making me want to just stand there and soak up the luxury that exuded from the room. I wasn't allowed to. This wasn't my room, and I had no right to even be sleeping in it!
Ten minutes was as long as I took to get changed into a dress! Nancy helped, giggling like a schoolgirl and brushing my hair back from my shoulders every now and then, her green eyes alight in excitement. She shouldn't be so happy I was there. I was an intruder. I belonged at the bottom of the ocean.
Rolo was at my side as I waited for Nancy to drain the bathtub, brushing lint from the sea foam blue dress I'd been wheedled into, lacy sleeves in patterns of wild flowers, while my body was hugged loosely from the waist up by the bodice. I cursed the fact that my chest was a little larger than usual, but the dress seemed to be modelled for someone with my size anyway. It didn't make me feel any less nervous about it. It floated in nice folds halfway past my calf and I pinched the light material in between my fingers.
"Are you sure this was used before you gave it to me?" I asked Nancy as she bustled back in, grey dress of hers now clear of the wet apron.
"Yes, yes," She said, but I could see through it.
"Did you take measurements when I was sleeping?" I asked.
"No… Only quick ones," She smiled and held out her hands to help me stand. "I'm afraid we couldn't scare up some sandals for you."
"I'm used to going barefoot," I muttered and Rolo stood to attention, padding up beside me as Nancy led me out of the room.
"We'll be getting you some warm food now," Nancy said half to herself. "You need it."
I couldn't help but give a strained smile. "If you haven't noticed, I'm a little on the chubby side. I don't really need much."
"Nonsense! You are the perfect weight!" She cried, making me flush and peek around to see if anyone was listening. I was astounded by the halls and marble staircase we were descending, rich oil paintings I could barely see from the distance, lustrous carpet underneath my feet. I let my fingers trail down the railing of the staircase, Nancy taking the luxurious setting in with a proud swelling of her chest. It was then that I caught sight of the workshops that we passed. Motorbikes were suspended on chains, guns were leaning against the walls inside the door to the left.
As some of the men smiled over to me, I waved a little in return as they smiled, running back to catch up to Nancy. "What is this place?"
She seemed to consider her words now, "A family manor for the Angelo's."
"I see," I hummed. "I'm really not that hungry though…"
Another woman emerged from the room that we'd been heading towards and beamed as she saw me. "Wow! I wish I could wear it like you do!" She muttered, holding out her hand. "I'm Leah. I kind of…"
"I'm sorry about that," I murmured, shaking her offered hand.
"No, that's fine. But Michael wanted to see how you were doing and you were kind of…"
"Very out of it."
"Not so much," She tried to water-down. "The morphine must have really put you under."
"An understatement," I softly giggled.
Leah took my left arm, making me wince and remember my father's black glare. "You're meal awaits you in the dining room."
I let them lead me through the doors and found myself in a dining room the size of the huge bedroom I'd been staying in. This meant that it was huge and had a long table to complete it. After my extensive studies even outside of school, I could see the Renaissance influence on the paintings hung, and then there were the 19th century trinkets around the room, complete with refined dining set and a marble floor.
"Our guest, sir," Leah murmured and bowed to the table, my sight finding a man watching us, his jet black hair swept to the side over his dark eyes.
"You're finally awake," He called back, rising and walking over to us. "I see you have recovered."
"Not completely, sir," Nancy told him. He just smiled over to her, nodding.
"Thank you both for taking such good care of her. My name is Michael, Michael Angelo," He told me, holding out his hand. Just as I reached to shake it, he instead kissed my knuckle. "I hope you slept well?"
"Uh… Yes, thanks," I murmured in return and looked back to Leah and Nancy. "Are they not having dinner with us?"
"No," Michael informed me, gesturing for me to go ahead. Where was I to sit? Another man held out a chair for me, smiling charmingly, and I flushed. He looked feminine, but sincere in his gesture. I sat down, fidgeting with the napkin placed on my lap by a smiling Leah.
Michael took his seat across from us, the head of the table left vacated. "This is Andre Gefair," Michael introduced the man who had held out my chair. "We are lovers, and I hope you do not mind," He continued on.
I blinked, then smiled a little more easily. "No, not at all! Why should I?" My voice came out in a squeak, but that was just because I was nervous.
"What is your name, Miss?" Andre asked, both of them waiting for me to answer.
"Nora," I murmured and cleared my throat as it came out lower than a whisper. "Nora Saunders."
"Such a pretty name," Michael remarked and flashed a smile. "I hope you plan on staying with us a little longer for your recovery?"
"I'm better," I told him. "I don't want to intrude either."
"Nonsense!" He chuckled. "Andre and I get so bored here, and it would be our pleasure to make sure you are definitely all well and good before we let you go. You are a guest, and it is an honour to have you as such."
"I…"
"Your father won't be able to find you here," Andre murmured, making me flinch. "He is currently in the company of authorities. You don't need to fear him."
"He's been arrested?" I gasped.
"Something like that," He confirmed.
"I thought the police couldn't do anything!"
"Regardless of his leadership of the South Side Gang, he isn't untouchable," Michael told me, and I bowed my head.
I was well and truly dead now!
I didn't voice my panic and instead heard trays being carried in. Dinner… I couldn't eat now.