You can fake a smile,

change the topic,

go on and on about all the possibilities

and how from this point on your life can only be better.

But it doesn't erase the pain,

erase the disappointment,

erase the Grand Canyon size gash in your heart.

To be single again after so many years.

Sounds like a fantasy,

believe me,

I've fantasized about this moment for a long time.

But the fantasy stops at "sign you name at this line"

then reality hits...

I am alone again.

I know I'm not really alone.

I have family,


and God.

But it doesn't stop the pain,

only masks it like a morphine induced haze,

only to resurface when the last dose wanes

and the next dose hasn't caught up yet.

Crying alone in an empty house.

Can't call anyone,

because there is nothing new to say.

Can't go back,

because there is nothing more to say.

There is only moving forward.

One step,

two steps,


Where will they take me?

Only God knows...

But I still have to go forward.

So I move.

One step, two...