On Tumblr yoquinto posted this promt: 'okay but a story about an asexual pirate who gets made fun of by the crew until he saves all of them from pirates.' And then harblkun posted some beautiful art with the same theme. So because of them I wrote this story.

. . .

The first time Robert didn't join the crew to go wenching they thought he was being up tight because he was new. There was ripping and laughing, but mostly everyone was grateful. Some men had to stay behind with the ship. After the third time, there started to be some grumbling. It was unnatural for a man not to go wenching. Robert ignored their insults, which only angered them more.

Some began to get the idea that maybe his preferences lay elsewhere. Born of that notion came a very ill conceived plot. When Robert found his hammock occupied with a strange man, he broke several crew member's bones. His ruthlessness earned him respect and mostly put an end to speculation about his personal life.

. . .

Robert approached the Captain's Quarters and knocked on the door. He waited five heartbeats before entering. The man was sitting behind his desk writing.

"Captain, we're heading into Siren Waters."

Captain Duncan grunted. Robert resisted the urge to roll his eyes. The man was a very good leader, but he was not very communicative. One would think he would be better with this first mate.

"Captain, I believe it would be safe if we slowed down and traveled through their territory during the night."

Duncan looked up from his log. "Is that so?"

Robert didn't respond, just stared back.

"Tell Jackman to drop to five knots."

"Sir." Robert nodded and left the room.

. . .

The sun had set three hours ago. Only three men were awake- Robert, the man on look out and the man steering. Robert was at the bow, enjoying the stars. He frowned when he realized they were veering off course. He went to the wheel.

"Johnson, what are you doing?"

"Can't you hear them, sir?" Johnson asked. His eyes were glazed over. He was swaying slightly, as if he could hear music Robert couldn't.

Robert heaved an aggravated sigh- this was what he had been afraid would happen. He grabbed the rope he had set aside. He listened closely as he walked to Johnson. He did hear some faint song. It was a pleasant melody, but it didn't draw him in.

"Yes, I hear them. Let's go to them," Robert answered. He took Johnson by the shoulder and led him to the mast. "Sit down for a minute and then we go."

"Alright," he readily agreed. He sat down with his back to the mast. "When are we going to see them?"

"Just let me tie you to the mast first," Robert replied absently as he wrapped the rope around Johnson and the mast.

"Sir," Johnson agreed. He thought about it a minute. "Wait." He started to struggle but it was already too late. He couldn't escape his bonds.

Robert stood back to admire his handy work. He wouldn't be getting out any time soon. With a nod Robert went back to the wheel to steer the ship back on course. Not even a minute had gone by when he heard more yelling. He went to the side of the ship and leaned over. Men were trying to crawl out the gun ports. So much for them sleeping through the Sirens.

Robert rolled two barrels over the trap door on the deck. That would prevent the men from escaping from the belly of the ship. Next he barred the door to the captain's quarters. Usually the Captain could sleep through anything, but why take the chance?

As he was heading back to the wheel he heard Bain shout from the crow's nest.

"I'm coming for you my love!" the man yelled as he jumped from the nest and into the ocean. Robert watched the spectacle with annoyance. The water was going to be cold. He sighed and trudged over to the long boat on the side of the ship. He tossed more rope in and lowered it to the water. He climbed down to it and started to row in Bain's direction.

Robert had been able to ignore the music up until now. It was very loud. He looked over the side to see a stunningly beautiful woman in the water. Her golden hair outshone gold, her skin made ivory seem dull and her eyes put the blue of the seas to shame. She sang with an achingly beautiful voice. Robert raised his eyebrows at how radiant she was.

"Can you not?" he asked. He gestured to Bain. "I'm trying to save my crewmate, thanks."

The Siren watched him go in confusion. Robert would have laughed at her expression but he was too annoyed about having to go after Bain. The man was making so much noise it was easy for Robert to find him, despite the poor light from the moon. It was fortunate for Robert that Bain was doing more thrashing than swimming, so he easily caught up with him.

"Bain, get in." Robert ordered.

"But sir- the Sirens!"

"I know. Get in the boat, it'll be faster."

"Yes sir."

Bain nearly tipped the boat over crawling in. Robert used his weight as a counter to prevent them from capsizing. Once he was in, Robert carefully approached him to tie him up. He had Bain sit on the floor so he could tie him to the seat.

"Sir, why are you tying me up?"

"So you don't fall in."

"Oh." A pause. "Sir, you're going in the wrong direction."

"Bain, be quiet. I know what I'm doing."

"Yes sir."

The row back to the ship was quickly accomplished. The Siren was still there. She was singing once again. Robert would have enjoyed listening to her except Bain was struggling and yelling. He took the man's bandana off and shoved it in his mouth.

"Sing all you want, you're not getting my crew," Robert told her. "All though you do have a remarkable singing voice."

He climbed the ladder and hulled the boat back up. Task at hand done Robert checked to make sure the crew below deck was still secure. Bain could spend the night in the boat for all the trouble he put Robert through. Satisfied all was well Robert went back to the piloting the ship. He was determined to enjoy the peace.

An hour after clearing Siren Water Johnson spoke up. "Sir, may I be untied?"


Robert enjoyed the rest of the night in peace. At dawn he unbarred the captain's quarters and removed the barrels. He opened the hatch to discover half the crew asleep on the stairs.

"Wake up you survey dogs!" Robert yelled. Most of the men snapped to attention before they were fully awake. "Resume your duties. I am commandeering the storage room. I'd best not be disturbed til next dawn." He paused and added as an afterthought. "Someone untie Johnson and Bain."

Man scrambled out of his way as he moved below deck.

After that night not one of the crew commented on Robert's personal night again.