If God didn't exist I wouldn't mind. I mean I might feel a little upset, but I wouldn't feel jipped or like I'd wasted my life. I suppose it sounds a bit cliché to say that knowing God has made my life so much better. I used to hate all the Christian clichés so much, it was just so typical and I would look at people who said things like that and think 'of course you'd say that, it's what they all say.' At the time I was trying so desperately to be different and I didn't want to slip into that typical Christian life. For a long time I didn't and even now I haven't. Because when you get there it's not so typical at all. You get to see what it's like on the inside and it's so much different to what others see on the outside.

Anyway, there's a few of reasons why I wouldn't feel jipped if God didn't exist. The first is that it's made me so much less afraid. I have always been a fearful person, afraid especially of the dark and all that creepy stuff that's connected to it. I hated going to bed because of what I thought would take me and it took me a long time to get over this. I realised one day though, something which I wished I had realised earlier, that if God existed, these things didn't. Because He's there the other can't be. It was such a nice realisation, and every time I lie in the dark feeling afraid I remember it.

The second reason is the hope and security. I am someone whose spent a lot of time contemplating over my future (I just don't know what to do) and it's wonderful to be able to go; it's in someone else's hands and it will be good. I have no idea what my future will be like and though it may be full of pain and suffering I will live the life He gives me and that will make it good. When I was younger I became very unhappy with my life and I realised later that it was because I had no hope, I had nothing to look forward to, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and now I don't really know much more but it doesn't matter because someone else does. I was searching for a dream but God's taken my dream and given me a future.

In the end even if God doesn't exist, even if it's all just nonsense, it doesn't matter. When I was younger I decided that without happiness there was no point in life, what is life if you're not happy really? And He makes me happy, whether He exists or not.