Chapter 2 – The Unbearable Detachment of the Alien Sex Therapist

Tiresiasia was comfortably ensconced in a smallish but elegant domestic cube (Translation: flat) in England's capital city. The windows offered enticing views of a tawny, tree rich area known as Hampstead Heath. It was very different to the glowing sea meadows of Uranus but rather soothing on the internal system. It was now a she and the new Tiresiasia had received instruction not to stray too far from her name. She was using 'Terri' as her alias while in a female body and would use Terry when male.

She had wondered while researching suitable nomenclature why the 'I' ending could suggest possession of a vagina and the 'y' a penis. On Uranus, there were no genitals but even if there had been, the Uranian language would never indicate that certain items of furniture or cooking equipment had the female parts or the male parts. In that sense, the English language was an improvement on both French and German.

She knew that the human integument covering muscle,flesh and nerves required fairly regular washing. She had consulted all the diagrams concerning human domestic technology but nothing really prepared her for the shower. It was adorably basic and quaint. While in there, she had played a little with her new breasts, pinching the nipple (which hurt a great deal) and making them swing and bounce. Tiresiasia found it entertaining for the first three minutes but rapidly lost interest

As research for her professional cover, she'd had to look at a number of websites and magazines and felt a certain odd twinge of compassion for the females who were large breasted. However did they move about? Some of them who considered themselves under-endowed had plastic sacs inserted in their existing glands.. Tiresiasia had switched off the Youtube video of one such procedure after a minute..

The vagina was more intriguing and Tiresiasia was going to consult an article by a famous female human known as Germaine Greer. Something about having parties where groups of females inspected themselves and celebrated their pudenda. It sounded a bit silly – Tiresiasia had never celebrated its tentacles but tentacles were not 'objects of fear, enticement and hatred' on Uranus. Humans were certainly a fine mess as the psychologist Oliver Hardy Freud had suggested.

In any case, her first therapy client (AB Caucasian male, degree educated, a charity fundraiser, heterosexual, early thirties, unmarried but co-habiting) was due soon, and she hoped she had done enough background study to be both convincing and helpful. It was against Uranian principles to take something for nothing and, as the subjects were not aware of their participation in this project, the least she could do is make sure they benefitted in some way.

The entryphone rang. Tiresiasia buzzed him in, aware that her digestive process was reactivating itself. Human nervousness.

He had dark blonde hair and an unremarkable but friendly, open face. He moved with some hesitation to the chair she offered him.

She assumed empathy face and, indeed, it wasn't hard as he thanked her profusely for agreeing to see him so rapidly.

"No. problem. We did all the contact details on the phone. I prefer first that alright with you?

"Yes, fine."

"So..James..can you tell me a little about what has brought you here?"

"My girlfriend lost weight."

"Ah..too much?"

"No..she's not know, anorexic or's just ..she's . Actually she's really happy. She dropped two dress sizes. She goes to the gym three times a week."

"So..she's happy."

He was practically squirming in his seat.

"I don't think I'm normal."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I ..I don't fancy her anymore."

"Ah. You feel you have lost desire for your girlfriend.."

"We know..we still do it but I've been finding excuses not to. It's not like me. I've got a healthy ..balanced sexual appetite…and I love her, I want to marry her, I just..don't know what's happened here"

"And you feel it has something to do with her weight loss?"

"Um..well, yes. And that's weird, isn't it? I mean…she looks great, she looks really hot, everybody says so..not that she didn't before..

He was blushing.

"Sorry. I'm not used to this."

Tiresiasia nodded sympathetically.

"It's not like it was all about her body…she's really smart, she's funny.." He tailed off, frowning.

"But you feel you have an issue with how her body is now.."

"It..she..she doesn't feel the same. And her face is different. She looks…harder…I feel bad just saying this."

Tiresisasia experienced an odd sensation, a desire to take James in her arms and cuddle him. This was rather disturbing but she remembered a word..countertransference ..and how she was meant to respond to such impulses.

"You do not find her new body comfortable…would that be right?"

He nodded, his eyes going wide.

"That's it. It used to be so comforting..exciting but ..I would feel relaxed at the same time as..erm..aroused. And now I don't"

His skin had acquired a rather saturated red hue. He ressembled Athenum in the last stage of heat restoration.

"I know this isn't easy to talk about…do you think you find her … any way?"

"She tastes of wheatgrass..she's starting drinking loads of it. And all the eggs have to have Omega 3 in them, she wants to give up alcohol and caffeine …"

He stopped.

"You sound a little angry, James."

"I feel she's criticising me ..for my habits. But ..wheatgrass..have you ever tasted that? It's disgusting…so what if I have a few cans of beer in the evening. I have deadlines, I have to meet a £300,000 bid and it's a recession, it's like getting blood out of a stone sometimes..she's a librarian, and she has very little stress and.."

He pushed his hair out of his eyes.

"I'm a bastard. She's always wanted to lose a bit of weight…there are some health issues in her family..her sister's quite obese. I should be supportive of her."

"You seem to feel that her new lifestyle is a criticism of your lifestyle."

"I don't know. She doesn't really say anything. She certainly hasn't nagged me to go to the gym more or fact, she's all over me, more than before and I ..I.."

He shook his head and sighed.

"I want her back how she was..easy going and size whatever ..and fun."

He sat up straight.

"That's it. This self improvement stuff. It's ..boring. Not sexy. I don't think she is sexier like this..and I don't like her sometimes."

Tiresiasia summed up.

"You feel your relationship is less comforting, less fun and less exciting because of your girlfriend's new interest in a healthy lifestyle."

"Yeah..well she's the normal one, isn't she? Maybe I'm one of those..fat freaks. But she wasn't fat..just rounded. My best friend has been teasing me that I'd better watch out .Apparently she could swap me for .I don't know..some male model or alpha media prick."

"A preference for curves does not make a fetishist. Let's talk a little about how you feel your time together has changed. As for alpha males, that is your friend's perspective. Is he single?…"

"Er..he's just been dumped."

Tireasisa raised an eyebrow, a human gesture she liked. Unprofessional.

James smiled.

When the hour was up, James agreed to come back for another session and he'd agreed to raise some of his concerns with his girlfriend. Tiresiasia was relieved. She liked James. He was really rather sweet.

Case study 1

Therapy Client

Desire Category1: comfort, enjoyment familiarity, relaxation and absence of too much sexual challenge or competition. Unresolved mother issues or oedipal complex possible.

Desire Category 2: to please women. To be seen as a good person. To be normal and acceptable

Source of desire conflict

Sexual desire pattern does not conform to current human cultural prejudices about body size. Therefore less 'normal' although no real 'deviane' present.

Tiresiasia couldn't imagine Athenum being interested in any of this. He was probably hoping she'd be working with sadists, extreme perverts, weopon's fetishists or something like that. James hardly seemed a threat to the cosmos but then who was she to judge the matter.

She looked at herself in the mirror.

"Is that a relaxing or a threatening posterior?" (American translation: butt)