Don't tell me
That the words you spoke,
The words that were like knives
Cutting up my heart,
Hurt more than the fists
That pounded into my body.
Or the cold as ice fingers
That wrapped around my neck.
Don't tell me
I will overcome
When it's two years later and I'm still
The bruises you left,
They will heal.
But the words you spoke
They will leave scars.
Scars on my heart.
Scars on my mind.
Scars on the fading light of my soul.
Don't tell me that hurts
I shoved my nose in a book
In hopes that it would hide me
Because I was sure that I couldn't survive
The next day.
The next month.
The next word.
I cried silently because I didn't want anyone know
That it hurt as much as it did.
Tears were weakness.
So I hid under the playground and cried,
Until I was sure that my sea
Of fallen hopes could drown Moby Dick.
And when that recess bell rang I got up.
And I walked back into the crowd
Like I was a fighter but I was really
No counselor could help me
I was gone.
The only person who could save me was
Simply because the only person who will carry you is you.
You can't betray yourself.
You can only hate yourself
And I encourage you not to look for your flaws
But your beauty
And if you can't see it
Now it's five years later and they were right.
Maybe those words hurt but those are battle wounds.
Not words that I will hold onto
Because those were the only attention they ever gave me.
Life will throw hate at you
And the only way we will ever get out of this hole
Is to keep running.
When you can't breathe
Because it feels like the oxygen is gone.
The more you run
The easier it gets.
Then you drag the people left behind by the careless.
And you keep running.