Don't tell me

That the words you spoke,

The words that were like knives

Cutting up my heart,

Hurt more than the fists

That pounded into my body.

Or the cold as ice fingers

That wrapped around my neck.

Don't tell me

I will overcome

When it's two years later and I'm still

Hurting.

The bruises you left,

They will heal.

But the words you spoke

They will leave scars.

Scars on my heart.

Scars on my mind.

Scars on the fading light of my soul.

Don't tell me that hurts

Worse.

I shoved my nose in a book

In hopes that it would hide me

From your

Criticizing eyes

Because I was sure that I couldn't survive

The next day.

The next month.

The next word.

I cried silently because I didn't want anyone know

That it hurt as much as it did.

Tears were weakness.

So I hid under the playground and cried,

Until I was sure that my sea

Of fallen hopes could drown Moby Dick.

And when that recess bell rang I got up.

And I walked back into the crowd

Like I was a fighter but I was really

Dying inside.

No counselor could help me

I was gone.

The only person who could save me was

Me.

Simply because the only person who will carry you is you.

You can't betray yourself.

You can only hate yourself

And I encourage you not to look for your flaws

But your beauty

And if you can't see it

Get

A

Better

Mirror.

Now it's five years later and they were right.

Maybe those words hurt but those are battle wounds.

Not words that I will hold onto

Because those were the only attention they ever gave me.

Life will throw hate at you

And the only way we will ever get out of this hole

Is to keep running.

When you can't breathe

Because it feels like the oxygen is gone.

The more you run

The easier it gets.

Then you drag the people left behind by the careless.

And you keep running.