i am counting flower petals again-

letting them fall around my
feet, watching them smudge, stepping
on the edges to see them tear, seams
separating

(i can hear myself screaming, and its
ragged and small, your name is smooth
in my mouth, as if i'm tonguing marbles, swallowing
them whole, they do not get caught in my throat.)

I have pressed these remains in pages
of picture books and photo albums, i
have scented my clothes with our future. you
asked me to tell it to you-to share my dream quest. I denied you,
you should be surprised, you should
thrill to my laugh and my finger tips,

we can never die, not
when we are immortalized between
the pages of property that will
pass from yard sale to garage sale, we can never die.

we will only crumble as we dry.