I wish I were clay so I could carve myself away bit by bit each day

Or rather I would just pull out one satisfying lump and with my fingers smooth out the bumps

And wring out the fat like water from a dishcloth until I was as flat and dry and beautiful as a desert plane

The inside of me is a slippery slide

My sustenance goes on rollar coaster ride

I am a bucket with a hole so I must constantly guzzle what I can to feel whole because my twisted comfort that makes me so warm rots quickly goes away

I can feel the food inside me decay, Maggots and flies in my stomach lie eating what I cannot. So I scoop it out.

At night I rub my juts and hollows

like a rabbits foot

I am not proud of this-I am the raging feminist

with my left hand I smash the patriarchy, I fight

While shoving two fingers down my throat with my right

I never read those magazines or was told to look like a woman when i was a tween or anything else you would see blaring on daytime tv

I play the side-character, the best friend on Disney TV

The girl with glasses who makes the audience laugh with her scrambling idiocy

Watch me become brittle before your eyes

Pale and perfect, like a white ash statue

Shield me from water and wind

And plaster the cracks as long as you can

I was, I am, and I may not be be for much longer