Dear God,

I am sorry that I'm not a good son.

I am wrathful, and angry, and tired,

And I don't deserve your love.

I don't deserve happiness,

But I don't deserve all of the shit

That my mother's putting me through.

I dumped out her 5 beer cans,

And I relapsed on my arm 4 times,

And I know that there's only 3 people in my house,

And only 2 of them are human,

And there is only 1 that doesn't

Make me want to kill myself,

And he's not even human,

But I don't deserve any of this.

I think I just don't deserve to exist.

I don't deserve joy, or glory,

But I don't deserve this hell on earth

That my alcoholics are giving me.

I don't want to admit that I don't want to exist.

I am sorry that I'm not a good son.

I'm sorry that I'm not a good son,

And I'm sorry that I can't be a good daughter.

Because I sure as hell don't know how to be one.

I want to be a good child,

But I don't know how to do that.

I'm sorry that all I want is to

Rip apart my skin,

Wear it around my neck as a noose,

And pull it until I am

Back inside your presence.

I am sorry that I don't know

How to not become so angry that

My hands shake,

My eyes water,

And I end up falling to my knees, crying,

"God, I'm so sorry."

I am so sorry.

I am so sorry that I don't

Know how to be.