I walked out of the night club and felt a chill run down my spine. I realized that I had left my jacket inside the club but I wasn't going back in. I wouldn't dare go back in. I didn't even tell my friends I was heading home. For first they wouldn't probably care and for second when I had seen him it would be impossible to stay in the same building for a moment longer.

My heart beating wildly in my chest, I looked around and realized that the path to the main road was empty. No sign of people there and as the moments came back to be my eyes started to moisten and I stood by a wall near me to calm down.

I can still feel the tingle of nerves I used to get whenever he kissed me. His face would come closer and closer and I would wait watching his every move until his lips were pressed against mine and his stubble would tickle my chin and his tongue would gently lap my lower lip and make all the waiting worthwhile. His strong warm hands would hold my waist in sweet protectiveness except when I would be worried or scared about something. That was the time he would cup my face in his hands and kiss me tenderly. At times when he got upset and angry he would kiss me hurriedly and then rest his chin on my shoulder as I would tell him it will all be okay. This would also contrast when the times he was possessive. His beautiful blue eyes would glint with anger and his jaw would tighten. That was the time when he kissed me roughly holding my hands against the wall as though telling me that there was no escaping him. The kiss would be anxious and protective and it would feel like whatever this was, it could last forever. I could tell those were the times he was afraid of losing me.

And yet here I was escaping him, telling myself that this was the best for the both of us. He would get someone better. If it was the best then, why was it so hard?

The backdoor to the club opened and I turned around to find my breath caught on my throat. I knew who that was before making a conscious thought.

His hair was cropped shorter and he wore his favourite crisp white shirt. The black wash jeans he wore hung lowly on his hips. I realized he had dark lines etched on his face probably due to lack of sleep, (I mentally berated him for letting his dad make him work so much) and his strong jaw was set in a thin line. I never liked that look on him I realized. It always made my heart beat faster.

'What're doing here?' he asked in a harsh and rude voice.

'It's a club and last time I checked you don't own it.'

'I don't own a lot of things anymore.' He said, the pain barely tangible in his voice.

Why is he doing this? I don't want to have this conversation. Not now or ever. Yet I felt my temper rising.

'You never owned me, Nicholas.'

'Yeah you're right. Only money owns you. Well I've got a lot of it in case you decide to come back; except I won't take you back.'

I just stood there listening to the boy I love say that to me. the tears that welled up in my eyes yet I held them back because I would never let him know how much that single line pained me.

'You're actually blaming me for this?' I said with my voice breaking off in the end.

'I don't even want to talk to you. I have to go.' I said with finality in my voice.

'Well don't expect me to stop you, you know,' he called out as I started walking away from him.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Why the hell did I come here tonight? Of all places in New York City he had to be here. He had to be here at the same time I was. I had to wear his stupid white shirt with stupid sad voice and broken heart... and that was when I started crying. Because no matter how many times I would say the word 'stupid' the fact wouldn't change that this was my fault.

I wrapped my arms around myself and started walking. Walking and crying; I now do these things in a daily basis, I thought as I made my way towards my apartment which was fifteen blocks away. There were no cabs and even if there were it wouldn't make a difference because if I had spent money on cab fare I wouldn't be able to pay for my breakfast the next morning.

Living in an expensive city was hard. The strength and stability that my part-time jobs provided was not enough to pay for everything. I was alone with no family here except for a roommate who had gone on a trip to Poland for her job for the last two months. Things will change. I kept telling myself that every time I felt like this. I will do great in that interview next week and I'll get a real job and everything will be okay.

Stability. I need stability. I found my stability when I met Nicholas Mikealson. He was beyond anything but stable actually. He was wreck less and wild and carefree when I first met him in college. I had sold my sob story to Harvard and got a complete scholarship to get a degree with my name on it. That's where I met him; fresh out of high school without a care in the world. Chilling with friends and partying all night with a house that resembled a mansion and tight-nosed parents who never cared about their son.

Damn had I hated him. He was cocky and arrogant and went around the world like he owned it. He was popular, fun, sexy and filthy rich. All these facts made him very famous to most of the females in school. Even I had stared at him the first time I saw him as he got out of his Bentley and smirked at me. Later though I understood that he was a complete jackass who didn't care about anything. I knew people like him didn't belong in a world with people like me. So I gave up on my little teenage crush on him. I carried on with my studies regularly and didn't notice a thing afterwards.

It was later when I realized he kept showing up everywhere I went. He was there in the library every time I was. I kept getting angry just because of that. That was because whenever he showed up so did his cronies along with his fan club of hot girls who were craving to be "rode" by him. He didn't even read when he came in. He would just sit with a book in his hand. Well, he would always sit away from me in the next table but I would always catch him there looking up from his book to my face with a look on his face. I found it annoying and disturbing that I blushed at the new predicament. However I was also scared he might be stalking me. Like actually following me home and stuff.

I tended to avoid him as much as possible but he was just always there, watching me. I didn't understand why he was doing all this. There were tons of girls there who were better than me every way possible. But in my second year he started talking to me. We had the same classes and we started talking. It turned out we did have things in common. He had a secrete talent at drawing. His favourite book was 'To kill a mocking jay' as well. He disliked people who wanted to be friends with him just because he was his parents' son. We started being friends.

Nicholas asked me out two weeks later and I turned him down with my plummeting heart. I told him that it was impossible for me to be with someone like him. He was my good friend but he was very different and at time of my life I needed stability.

And boy did he become stable.

After that Nick asked me out again and before I even knew it I was falling head over heels in love with him. We had been together for four years since then. We were beyond happy. My parents had met Nicholas and it was all going great until Nick's mother called me up. She had called me to explain to me that though I was a very good girl I wasn't good for nick. She had explained that we actually did come from different worlds and their family would never be able to with ... me. Lastly, she told me that nick's father was abandoning his son from his will because he could clearly see that he would 'through it on all the wrong things.'

Sure I was angry, embarrassed and hurt but I knew what had to be done. I broke up with him the next day, saying that we weren't right for each other and that I was looking for different things. At first he thought it was a joke and that was when I started crying. He looked at me with the most pained expression on his face which made him look like a lost puppy.

'Did you ever love me?'

I thought about it for a second that if I was going to do this might as well let him move on.


That was when the walking and crying began and that was still what I was doing now. It had been a month since I had been touched by him. I kind of silently vowed to myself to never fall this hard for someone again.

I started walking as I heard footsteps. . A few men across the street were coming toward me. Shouting and laughing, they sounded drunk and dangerous and I hurried on walking was still seven blocks away when they started shouted, 'hey baby, where you goin'?' the other men howled with laughter as I kept on walking. I knew it was too risky to make a run for it; they would be faster and they were four while I was alone. I prayed for people to be in the next street but it seemed that luck wasn't on my side. I noticed they were walking faster and I prayed to god for a cab. I never cared for breakfast anyway! I started walking faster and I was thinking about screaming out loud when I black Bentley pulled up right in front of the pavement. I love you.

I got in without asking anything. I was shivering; either from the cold or the run-in with drunken men I wasn't sure. All I knew was that I was safe because I was with him.

He drove off without a second glance. I slid down the seat and realized I was panting and my heart was fluttering in my ribcage like a frightened bird trying to escape.

'Are you okay?' said his voice.

I realized his voice was shaky. I looked at him to see that he was gripping the steering wheel tightly with his hands and I could see he was trying really hard to calm down.

'Did they hurt you, Ella?'

I didn't even think before replying.


That was when I realized there was a dull aching pain in my feet. It was a sickening sort of piercing pain that I didn't notice until Nick asked me. I brought my feet on the seat and saw that my left foot was bleeding. While I was I running I must've stepped onto something. I removed my shoe and saw that there was a hole through it. Even my ballets, which I bought from a cheap shop, didn't support me in New York.

'Ella, you're bleeding.' Said the rugged voice I love so much.

'Yeah it's nothing. Just a scratch...I was walking and something must've-'

'I'm taking you to the emergency room'

'What no! Nick, it's nothing. You're over reacting.'

'I would be over reacting if I would've gotten out of this car and murdered those bastards.' He said in a low, dangerous voice.

I tried to calm him down. 'Look it's just a scratch. I'll get cleaned when I get home.'

'Oh you're not going home,' he said in a voice that I found strangely alluring.

That was when I realized he had left my building behind and was going to-

'We're not to your place nick. Turn the car around.'

'Like I've always listened to what you say' he shrugged.

I couldn't believe him. 'Why are we going to your place?'

'I know you told me your room mate is in Poland and hasn't returned. You're afraid of blood and you can't clean it and since you won't go to the emergency room, I'm taking you to my apartment.'

'Nick I will clean it. Seriously! You don't have to do this!'

'If you don't stop talking right now Ella I swear I'm going to-'

'What? What will you do?' I half shouted. Why were we getting so worked up?

I looked down to see a gash on my left foot and blood oozed out of it. My breathing started to hitch and I felt uneasy. I really hated the sight of blood.

'Don't worry. We're almost there,' he said, as though he could read my mind.

We reached his apartment fifteen minutes later. It was in the Upper East Side. I had always been proud of him not trying to parade his father's money around. He paid rent for it himself and never asked for anything from his parents'. However, I couldn't come in between his parents and him or even the property that he would inherit eventually. I knew that nick said he didn't like his parents but I also knew that he had always wanted them and their time. I couldn't be the reason for him never getting that.

He pulled up beside his building and I started opening the door to the car when he came around and held his hand out for me to take. I took his hand slowly got out. He bent down as I was sure he would offer to carry me in his arms but I said 'no it's okay. It's not that bad.' I said, with tranquillity in my voice. However I was actually panicking because I didn't know how to walk with my left food aching so badly and I was sure I was being stared at.

'Oh God, people are looking,' I said lamely as he held onto me and gave the key to his driver who came up front to park the car.

'I could just carry you, you know. It's not like I haven't done it before,' he said with a facetious smirk as he thought of the fond probably sexy memories of us. I knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to distract me as we came in to the lobby because people were staring at me as though I had sprouted wings.

We reached the elevator and thankfully it was empty. I waited awkwardly as Nick pressed the button and stood there with foot dangling and the other one trying to balance it. The pain was getting worse. I tried not to show it but it was like the boy had a telepathic feeling to whatever I thought or felt.

Without saying anything he came up to me while I was leaning against the elevator wall he bent down and picked me up with his arms carrying my entire wait like a baby. 'You're a drama-queen,' he said with a crooked smile. My heart palpitated in my chest but for all the wrong reasons. I didn't care anymore about the pain I just knew his face was a few inches from mine and he was look at me with that look in his eyes that melted my heart and made my breathing slower. It was as though time had stopped and we were again in our old lives when everything was beautiful. I finally smiled after what felt like a month.

He gave me the key to his apartment which was in his pocket. Well I had to get it and unlock the door as his hands were occupied. His apartment was messy and it looked like no one had cleaned it for days. I used to be only one to want that apartment hygienic. Boys.

He put me down on the kitchen counter and ventured to find the first aid kit. I hated what was to come. 'Oh no,' I groaned as I saw him coming back with the first aid kit.

'If it's just a scratch it won't hurt much.'

I pulled my left leg up and realized it had stopped bleeding but it was the gash that made me want to hurl. 'I...'

'Don't look at it okay? Look at me,' he said holding my face with his hands like he used to. I nodded and did what I was told. I notice his stubble was thicker than I had realized. When I first saw him in the club I didn't really want to look at him and it was too dark in the street or in the car and lobby I was too busy with my bleeding foot.

'Ouch, it hurts,' I moaned as he started cleaning the wound with alcohol. I had started to sting my eyes for some reason and I was tearing up again.

'Hey, it'll be okay.' He held one hand on the back of my head and leaned it towards his shoulder and I leaned toward him so that my forehead rested on his shoulder blade as he wrapped my foot with gauze.

I love you.

'There, all done,' he said in a low voice. I realized I was still staring at him. Well, he had told me to look at him. He noticed and looked at me with that thing he did with his eyes. It was actually nothing but I always thought he looked at me differently sometimes. It made me feel like I was special or something. But I wasn't.

'Thanks for the help. I appreciate it,' I said my voice growing distant again.

He looked at me with coldness again as though he was angry. 'No problem,' he said with his face becoming impassive. He was hurting.

'Okay, I think I should go.' I tried to get up from the counter but instead he picked me up and started carrying me to his bedroom.

'Hey, what the hell do you think you're doing? Nick! Put me down!'

'You're not going back to your apartment it's late. You'll be alone there and I bet you can't even walk,'

'That's not your problem,'

'It's best if you spend the night here... and what did you just say?'

He put me down on his king-sized bed and looked at me with a hard expression on his face.

'Not my problem...for the past four years you've been my problem and now you think you're not?'

'So that's what I was? A problem to you? You should've told me before then!'

'So what? You could've broken up with me sooner!'

'No, that's what I could've told your mother when she confronted me! "No Mrs. Mikealson, you have nothing to worry about, your son already thinks I'm a problem in his life and he doesn't plan on sticking with his problem for long!"

'What? My mother "confronted" you?'

Oh. Stupid!

'I-I...forget it. It doesn't matter.'

'No wait what are you talking about? What did she say?'

'Nicholas, listen to me, it doesn't matter,'

'What did she say, Ella?' he said in a deadly whisper. His lips were formed into a thin line and he was furious.

'Umm... not much...just something about your family not being able to like me and your dad might not mention you in his will...'

'Is that why you broke up with me?'

I was doing some really fast thinking and I could tell he was not going to let this go. I knew he didn't want his dad's money but I couldn't...

He was looking at e with those eyes and I couldn't lie to him.

'Well... yeah I...'

'Oh...' he put his hand on his head as though he was getting migraines thinking about it.

'Ella...you idiot. You stupid, stupid moron.'

'Hey! I was looking out for you!'

'Oh Ella. My father already wrote his will. Last week I got the news and he named everything on me.'


'I refused it. I told him I didn't need his money and he couldn't own me with it.'

'Well I knew you would probably do that...but your parents...they don't... and I'm not...up to your standard-'

'What are you talking about? You are above my standard! You are way out of my league, woman. I woke up everyday thanking God that I found you. I can't even tell you how much I love you, how much I missed you. I used to walk near your house the cafe you usually go to...just to get a glimpse of you. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, and I just gave up on live. The sheets smelled of you, all my shirts smell like your perfume and when I catch some sleep, it's always a dream about you. You're driving me crazy woman, you've been doing that ever since I first I saw you reading in the park bench the first day of college.'

He was sitting on the floor leaning against the bed while I was sitting on the bed trying to get my thoughts together.

'I fucking love you,' he added.

'I love you,' I said. There was a lump forming in my throat and I couldn't talk.

'But your parents will...'

'Ella they've never approved of anything that makes me happy. And I don't care what they think. And if you think that they can love just because we stay apart... that is just bullshit because they have had twenty-one years for that.'

'I-I...I love you.'

'That's it? That's the big "I missed you" speech?' he laughed.


'Yes and this...' I pulled his face to mine and finally kissed those lips that had been haunting my thoughts for the past month...actually for the past four years.